Angel Undercover
by Kaitsa
Summary: When Rose and Jake are stuck together, babysitting Nessie, some secrets are revealed… Rated M for lemons.
1. Prologue Babysitting

**Summary: When Rose and Jake are stuck together, babysitting Nessie, some secrets are revealed… Rated M for future lemons.**

**AN: I don't own…**

**This story is dedicated to someone who likes a ** with a soft side ;-)**

* * *

_I'm a bitch, I'm a tease  
I'm a godess on my knees  
When you hurt, when you suffer  
I'm your Angel Undercover  
_~Meredith Brooks~

* * *

**Prologue: Babysitting**

Rose sat in the comfy chair, with the baby on her lap, slowly rocking her to sleep.

All was quiet in the house, until the front door busted open, and Jake stepped in, whistling, and going straight for the kitchen, opening the fridge and scanning the contents.

Ness woke up again and started whining.

"Great," Rose hissed and turned towards Bella and Edward, who were preparing to leave.

"What's the dog doing here?"

Jake looked up from the fridge, gave her a brilliant smile, knowing how much it annoys her, and said "Good evening to you too, Barbie, I thought I smelled something."

Edward and Bella looked at each other and Edward said in a low tone

"You asked him to babysit tonight? I asked Rose."

"I more like promised him," she said with a worried look on her face. She turned around towards Rose, giving her a pleading look.

"Well, Edward more like promised _me_," she simply said in a bitchy tone, determined to get her way.

Bella turned to Edward again, he looked apologetic "I thought, since Emmett is bear hunting this weekend, that she would like to. I didn't know you asked him already," he shrugged.

Jake shook his head in disbelief, speaking to Edward in his mind.

"I do trust you with Renesmee, Jacob."

He sighed. "Alright, you can stay."

"What the fuck!" Rose yelled, while standing up. The baby started to cry. At this Esme came down the stairs and said gracefully "I'm fairly sure they can act like grownups for a couple of hours and both take care of Nessie."

They opened their mouths to protest, but Esme had played it cleverly, as neither wanted to sound like the less mature. So they just snorted.

Rose sat down, muttering something about her hair that would smell nasty, and Jake got back in the kitchen to dig up a lost slice of pizza. It still looked okay, so he removed the plastic wrapping and took a large bite.

Bella, Edward, Esme and Carlisle said their goodbyes and left after Bella mouthed sorry towards him and Edward quietly asked Rose to give Jacob a break.

The door fell into lock and immediately Rose sent a death glare in his direction, trying to scare him away from her and the baby. Jake smiled sweetly and hopped over the back of the couch, landing right next to her. Rose wanted to protest, but Nessie immediately held out her little hand towards him and he smiled his sunshine smile at her, giving her his pinky to grab. She made little cackling noises that were so adorable that even Rose lost her murderous face for a moment.

He stuffed the remaining part of the pizza slice in his mouth, so that he could take the remote with that hand and switch on the TV. He immediately turned to the sports channel, that showed cycling at the moment. He wasn't interested in that at all, only wanted to annoy her.

"What the hell, you're not watching that."

"Yes I am," he answered, still chewing on his pizza.

She gave him a disgusted look and said "that's repulsive, Jake."

He swallowed and said "Yeah, I bet you look like a real lady when you're feeding," before turning up the volume of the TV.

"Keep it down, puppy, Nessie wants to sleep." She then turned her attention to the baby and said in a high pitched voice "That's right, baby girl, you want to sleep, don't you."

Nessie giggled and babbled, while stretching out her little hands to grab Rose's hair.

Jake looked sideways, always a bit baffled by the Jekyll and Hyde woman.

There must be something nice about her, Ness seemed to like her just fine.

"How long are you going to keep calling me puppy?" he asked, annoyed.

Without looking up from the baby, who was now pulling at Rose's hair with a force that would make a human girl tear up, she answered "Well technically you stopped aging at, what, like sixteen? So how about… forever?"

He sighed defeated and changed the channel to a car program, knowing that they both rather watched this. She took it as a nice gesture and didn't make any more mocking remarks.

They both sat in uneasy silence, checking the baby from time to time, to find that she was sound asleep.

After a long time, Rose gathered all her kindness, gave Nessie a kiss on her head, and carefully handed her over to Jacob. His eyes widened and he could have teased her, something about a bitch with a soft side, but he didn't want to push his luck. Nessie never as much as blinked as she was switched from the cold stone vampire to the warm wolves arm. In his strong arms, she even looked smaller than before. He looked at this baby in utter admiration and softly caressed her tiny hands and fingers.

All the while Rose her eyes were locked on the affectionate scene next to her.

"She should have picked you," she suddenly said.

"Hmmm?" He hardly registered her saying something.

"Bella. She should have chosen you." At this his head snapped up, looking at her in disbelief.

"What?"

"Don't get me wrong, I love Edward, and I'm sure they're really happy together. But if it was me, I would have chosen the human life with you, and go for the puppies."

Jake coughed uncomfortably. He didn't want to think about his feelings for Bella. He knew however, that this wasn't about Bella. This was about Rose not having a baby.

"Do you resent her for having it all? The vampire life, the soul mate and the baby?"

"Not her," she simply answered, and her look became harder again. She averted her eyes.

"Carlisle then? For turning you?"

"What are you freaking Oprah or something!" she seethed, but her eyes looked eternally sad. And he wanted to comfort her. He wasn't scared by her hissing, he expected it.

"You were dying Rose. He never took any babies away from you. At least now you've got the chance to be a godmother."

Her eyes glared at him warningly. Her lower lip was trembling, but she looked extremely dangerous right now. She muttered between clenched jaws "you've got no idea what you're talking about."

He gave up and focused on the baby again.

To his utter surprise she sighed deeply and then explained.

"Not Carlisle either. Royce King."

He stayed silent. He knew about her past, but she never talked about it. Especially not with him, of all people. Her changed behavior made him nervous, the bitchy stuff he could handle. He expected it. Sad Rose however…

He got up from the couch, lay Ness against his shoulder and started strolling around the living room with her. Sure he can make some joke and break the tension, but this was Rose for Christ sake's and joking seemed very inappropriate at the moment. He felt extremely uncomfortable. And he knew that any moment now she would regret opening up to him and explode into some fury.

He avoided looking at her.

"He was my first love," she mesmerized. "First and worst love. Nobody knows this, but that night wasn't the first time he raped me. It happened before too. A lot. I just don't want their pity. God, how I hate their pity! His violence made me infertile. Carlisle told me, Royce was the one who killed my chance of a baby. And after all that, I still loved him."

She shook her head, disgusted with herself. Gritting her teeth.

Jake stood still, frozen, no longer rubbing Nessie's back. This new Rose was scary. He blinked and slowly stepped towards the crib, putting the baby down. He didn't know what to do. So he said without looking at her "You don't have to tell me this, Rose. It's none of my business."

He straightened again and rested against the back of the couch, facing away from her.

"In a way it is, Jake. You… you remind me of him."

His jaw fell open. Did she just tell him he reminded her of the man who raped her and almost beat her to death?

After a long silence, she stood up and got in front of him.

Her gaze roamed over his face, his dark eyes, his black spiky hair.

"Go home Jake, please," she whispered. She had told him to go home many many times before, but it was no hateful order this time, more like a pleading. A tone he never heard from her.

He was stupefied even more.

She didn't look as if she wanted to be alone, but knowing Rose, it would probably be for the best. Her strange behavior however, made him not want to leave Nessie with her. If she was having a melt down, reliving old trauma's about babies she never had, he wouldn't leave her with Ness.

So he simply shook his head.

"Jake…" she begged again and then she baffled him even more by stepping forward and dropping her forehead against his shoulder. She couldn't cry, but she trembled violently. With rage and grief.

He carefully patted her back a little, not knowing if she expected that from him.

She fisted his shirt and slowly pushed herself away from him again. In her eyes was an expression he couldn't read, her face looked determined, strong again. Pulled together, or so he hoped.

"Don't get me wrong Jake. I'm over him, I got over him the moment I started torturing him to death."

He gulped and his heartbeat sped up. She opened her balled hands to release his shirt and took another step backwards, looking up at his face. So continued in a softer tone.

"And I know you're different. I saw you with Bella, and now with Ness." She looked straight into his eyes and then suddenly blinked "Are you scared?"

"No," he replied, a little too fast. The corners of her mouth twitched ever so slightly.

He sat down on the back of the couch, stretching his legs before him, nonchalantly, but she wasn't fooled. She moved closer again, stepping between his legs and placed her cold hand on his face.

"Don't be afraid puppy," she whispered, with a slightly mocking look.

Jake couldn't believe the stunt she pulled here. First she almost breaks down against his chest, and now she wanted to make fun of him? He didn't speak however. There was a vibe in the room. The air between them had always been tense, but now there was… arousal? Definitely arousal.

She must have felt it, because she gave him a defying look and slowly slid her hand down over his cheek towards his neck. He shivered, arising all the hairs on his arms, and this she noticed too, with a small smirk.

It was wrong, naughty, devilish even, but Rose wanted to continue this game with the kid. The power she had over him, this instant. Now finally his god damned annoying ways were left behind.

She looked him in the eye and without breaking the contact, she moved her hand further down, over his shirt, down his abs and over his shorts. She found what she was looking for and heard him holding his breath. His eyes wide. Her fingers traced his pants and she grinned widely.

"Nice," she said, which made him feel a little cocky.

"Still think I'm a pup now?"

"Definitely. Just a pup with a nice package."

"You're sick Rose," he shook his head, but didn't push her hand away.

At this she threw her head back and laughed, wholeheartedly.

Something clicked inside Jake's head. He had enough of her sneers.

He would show her now and for all that he was no pup. He lifted his hand to the back of her neck, fisting her long blond hair and pulled her forcefully against him. She so had this coming.

He kissed her hard, before she pulled away, forcefully as well.

"What the fuck!" she exclaimed, but then they looked into each other's eyes for one brief second and their mouths were locked again. He pulled her tight against him, so that she could feel him. Tongues were licking and nails were scratching in this wild and feral kiss. When he tasted his own blood, he stopped abruptly, worried.

She gave him a seductive smile, while slowly licking her lips.

"You don't taste half as bad as you smell," and then raised her eyebrows to add her last word "Puppy".

That did it, he grabbed her and threw her onto the couch, jumping on top of her, attacking her mouth again.

"Shit" she suddenly said, pushing him away, so hard he flew halfway across the room "they're back."

Jake stood frozen by the television.

She started straightening her hair and her clothes with nervous hands, while hissing "One word and I'll kill you, I swear."

"Sure sure," he said, filled with panic.

When she looked up at him, her eyes widened in shock "Jake!"

"What?"

He was covered in scratches and bruises, but there was no way to explain, because at that moment, Carlisle and Esme walked in.

They looked back and forth, between both frozen and guilty looking statues in the room. Jake's furious heartbeat filled the silence.

"Oh Rosalie," Esme exclaimed, obviously disappointed "What have I told you about fighting in this house? Especially with mortals, the smell." she shook her head disapprovingly "No offence Jacob," she added to him. He relaxed instantly. "And this in front of the baby." Esme went straight for the crib and picked up Nessie, rocking her, while waving her hand to dismiss both sulking teenagers. Carlisle stood next to her, equally entranced by the image of the sleeping baby.

"The dog started it!" Rose blurted.

Jake looked at her with angry eyes, mouthing "what the fuck?"

She just shrugged and he made his way for the door, wanting to be gone before the empath and the mind reader returned. Let alone the bear who would rip him apart in places he didn't want to be ripped apart.

"That's right, run away, puppy," she sneered.

His head snapped up, turning back at her as she still stood by the couch, arms crossed over her chest. Right before he left and ran home as fast as he could, she stealthily gave him a wink.

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**AN: I initially posted this as a one-shot, but I got curious... **

**I have no idea how this story will develop yet, so if at one point you think it is going nowhere, you're probably right. :-)  
I just wanted to give it a try. All your tips are welcome!**


	2. Brilliant

**Chapter 1: Brilliant**

**Jacob POV**

I sat on the edge of the cliff, feet dangling down, absently throwing pieces of rock into the waves way below. I came here a lot, to clear my mind.

This is the place that kept me sane after Bella married Edward. I would let it all wash over me, and whenever it was too much to handle, I simply jumped and let the adrenalin rush take over my mind.

I wasn't in that place anymore. Slowly recovering now.

I'm not the one to dwell on sad feelings, but damn I made it hard on myself in this one.

At the time it seemed like the most brilliant idea I ever had. Now I don't know…

And why Edward plays along is a mystery to me as well.

Sure the arguments had seemed true enough at the time, but how did we ever believe this was right?

* * *

_I walked through the forest, away from Bella and her newborn baby, heading back home to tell the pack that everything was okay._

_Until I suddenly noticed him following me. I wanted to speed up, but he read this in my mind of course._

_"Hold it. You and I are going to share a few words." He sounded stern, but I wasn't intimidated._

_"Shoot," I said, as nonchalantly as possible. In fact, he had every right to question me right now._

_"What was that about? How on earth did you come up with that?"_

_"Think about it, Edward. It's a genius plan. A win win really."_

_"Win win? For you, yes."_

_"For all of us."_

_"And how do you see me and Bella having benefits out of you pretending to imprint on MY baby?"_

_"Because, now Bella can keep me near without having to wonder why she so desperately wants me close."_

_"She does not desperately want you close," he replied, annoyed._

_"Oh but she does. We both know it. She can't do without me. She tried, remember? And failed."_

_Edward's face fell. He knew I was right. Whether he liked it or not, Bella needed me._

_I continued "if she believes I've moved on, or imprinted or whatever, she'll be able to forget about her feelings, without thinking about 'what if'."_

_"You mastered this plan in order for her to forget about her feelings for you? Now why is this so hard for me to believe?"_

_"Is it? Is it hard to believe I want her to be happy?"_

_"Then what's your win? If all you are getting is watching her be happy with me and Renesmee?"_

_I shrugged. "I can't let her go." I said quietly. Edward's gaze softened._

_"You can't do this, Jacob."_

_"Well, I just did. She'll think I've moved on, she'll be happy with you, and I get to stick around without feeling her pity. It's a nice plan. Even Nessie will gain."_

_He thought about this for a long time and I saw resignation appear on his face._

_He knows if I run off someplace to wallow in my broken heart, that Bella will come for me. And that she'll never be truly his, until she knows I'm okay._

_He slowly nodded. And we made a silent agreement never to speak of this again. We both had our own motivations, but Bella's happiness was on top of the list, for both of us._

* * *

Now, two months later, I wasn't so convinced anymore with the geniality of the plan. Watching her have this perfect little family hurt me more than I expected.

I heard some rustling behind me, and out of nowhere suddenly she appeared, the baby in her arms.

As if she knew I was thinking about her.

"Bells, what are you doing here?" I was a little annoyed too. This was my private place and the only place I could escape from her.

"I was worried, I followed your scent."

"Well, I'm fine, as you can see. So please go home again."

"You haven't been around all week, and I've got someone who wants to see you."

She stepped closer and held out Nessie to me. The baby recognized me and started swaying her little arms around, while releasing little cries of joy.

My annoyance instantly faded, and I took the kid and cradled her in my arms. Her little claws wanted to grab hold of something and fisted my shirt instinctively. Her big blue eyes stared up at me, and although I know the imprint was a make belief, I felt connected to this child. I wanted to protect her.

I hadn't even noticed that Bella sat down next to me on the edge of the cliff. Nessie was able to make me forget about everything else.

Without thinking, my free hand found Bella's, like it always had, and her cold hand fitted in mine. We both sat there, staring over the waves, hand in hand, while the baby was dozing off against my warm chest.

I couldn't help but mesmerize.

"It could have been like this, Bella."

"What could?" she asked, as if she didn't know. I looked sideways and her pleading look told me she just didn't want to acknowledge.

I continued anyway. If she feels the need to show up in my spot, I will feel free to share my opinion.

"You and me and a baby. We could have been happy."

"We are happy, Jacob."

Right.

I sighed. I know she feels it too, but she was never going to admit again. Making her see her feelings wasn't part of the plan. But hearing her say it now and then would be nice anyway.

"Why did you stay away? Is it because of Rose?"

My head snapped up and my eyes were wide open. I had avoided thinking about that evening all week.

"What about Rose?"

"I know what happened. She told me. But you've got nothing to be ashamed off."

"What?!? What did she tell you?"

"About your fight. Esme saw what she did to you, and Rose admitted that she kicked your ass in a fight over the remote."

Un-fucking-believable!

"She most certainly did not! That bitch couldn't kick my ass if I was crippled."

"She said that you would try to deny it," Bella simply answered, looking out over the ocean again.

I stood up and handed her Nessie as I felt my hands starting to quiver.

I could just rip Rose's head off. Of all people, I didn't want Bella to see me as a silly pup.

Bella was up instantly, holding the sleeping baby in her arms, ready to run if I should phase.

"I don't get what your problem with her is. She's wonderful, especially with Nessie, so please stop being so childish."

Great.

Now I couldn't even retort Rose's prank, not without sounding childish.

But I would get back at her. She forgot she told me some things. And I wasn't going to let her mess with me.

As my anger was still coursing through my veins and my body was still heavily trembling, Bella decided Nessie wasn't safe anymore.

"You're gonna have to get over it if you want to see Nessie. Feel free to drop by again when you're calm again."

"Sure sure."

And off she was.

* * *

**AN: That was kind of a surprise, no? **

**I'm still not sure where to take this story, so all your ideas and suggestions are very much welcome! :)**


	3. Crap

**Chapter 2: Crap**

**Rose POV**

"Baby, that was so hot," Emmett sighed.

A smile appeared on my face. He always comes up with the craziest of ideas and then manages to turn my "no way" into a "just for once" with that cute dimpled smile of his. I never regret it too, no matter how much I oppose when he suggests it.

I watched the nurse uniform next to the bed and grinned even wider. Enthusiastic Emmett at his best. I know what is to come. He'll talk me out of my "just for once", and I think I'll give in easy this time. That doctor's uniform sure looked hot on him too.

But Emmett surprised me here.

"I'll sure miss this, Rose. If I should find her."

For a few moments I couldn't speak. We talk about it, often. And we always conclude that sex with our actual soul mates must be equally hot. Otherwise it's no fair.

When I'm in a bad mood I throw back at him that he shouldn't worry, that he'll just drain his singer all over again. But how can I be in a bad mood tonight?

I shift to my side to look into his eyes. How he manages to still look so innocent after all the things we just did, remains a mystery to me.

I place my hand on his gorgeous face and he smiles sweetly. My fingertip moves to the dimple in his cheek. He's absolutely the most adorable man ever, but not mine to keep.

"I'll miss you too, babe."

"Maybe she'll be as open minded as we are."

"We live with three soul mate couples. Do you see them being open minded?"

I think about Edward's pained face whenever he stumbles on one of our free spirited thoughts.

He laughed out loud. "Those prudes, not a chance!"

"Maybe they're not prudes. Maybe when you find him or her, you just can't imagine ever wanting to share."

I know he longs for such a connection. I saw him watching Edward and Bella, and thinking more about his singer the last year. She came to him twice, long ago, and twice he killed her. Edward on the other hand managed to keep his alive the first time. It hurt my Emmett, and I resented Edward and Bella for it. For making him want something I can't give him.

I gave my heart once, and it was not treated nicely. There's an understatement.

When I found Emmett in that forest, dying, I was struck by the innocence that radiated from him. I wasn't looking for love, or for a soul mate. I just so desperately needed to believe that there was still some purity in this world. And I found it in him, a man that is kind and good in every fiber of his being.

He knew from the start that I gave him all I had to give, my life even, but not my heart. Those first years it killed me to see that his heart broke every time we talked about it. But after the first time he met his singer, he knew there was someone out there who was made for him, who would come back for him, and he didn't ask for my heart anymore.

"What are you thinking, babe?" he asked, with a look of concern.

"Just what we are to each other now, if not soul mates."

"Well…" he started and pulled my naked body close to his again, while he whispered in my ear "you, my dear, are my best friend, my lover, my wife, my seductress… Whoever I sleep with, I always come back to you. And my soul mate better be exactly like you."

"I can live with that," I answered and started kissing him passionately. I always came back to him as well.

Our heated moment, however, was abruptly interrupted by an angry voice coming from beneath our window.

"Rosalie. Outside. Now."

He didn't shout, but he knew I could hear him.

Emmett smirked "the dog wants a rematch, I guess you didn't kick his ass hard enough, babe."

I hated lying to Emmett, but I just couldn't tell him the truth about what happened that evening.

I shouted "go away pup, I'm kind of in the middle of something."

Emmett laughed out loud. "Got that right". And then yelled "I'm not sharing!"

Jacob simply answered "fine. I'll just say whatever I have to say about that _fight_ right here then."

I was up in an instant, grabbing whatever clothes I could find and bolted out of the window. I grabbed his arm and dragged him into the forest, while he was fighting to free himself from my grip. He didn't stand a chance. What the hell is he thinking if he believes he can come over here and stir everything up like that.

Once we were out of hearing distance I hissed "I think I told you very clearly that I'll kill you if you say one word about what happened."

"Yeah, same here. And that includes making up stories." He looked extremely upset, but so was I.

"It was Esme's conclusion. I just went with the flow."

"And added a little as well, telling Bella you kicked my ass."

"So this is about Bella? Interesting."

"Shut up, Rose."

"Look, if you hadn't kissed me, I wouldn't need to make up stories."

"Excuse me?!? Do you remember where your hands were when this happened?"

"Nope. Don't recall anything worth remembering." I pursed my lips and gave him a defiant look.

I know I was taunting him. He's just so easy to pester. Immature out of control wolf.

Just when I thought that he was going to phase any instant now, he suddenly looked at me, and as his eyes raked over me, a wicked grin appeared.

"Nice outfit," he smirked.

I looked down horrified at the nurses clothes I grabbed in all my haste.

"Crap."

He started laughing out loud and I crossed my arms, feeling the anger rise inside.

Every time he calmed down he looked back at me and started laughing again.

"Playing doctor with nurse Barbie!"

I don't have to listen to this. I turned around and started running back, but he stopped me. Dead serious again.

"Rose. I mean it, no more crap stories."

"You mean no more crap stories in front of Bella," I dared him.

"Fine. That's what I mean yes."

"Really?"

"Look, I've got some of your secrets here as well, and I don't want to use them against you, so don't make me."

"Alright alright, don't get your knickers in a twist, puppy."

He rolled his eyes and turned around to run off.

I just shook my head. So Bella still…

* * *

**AN: More surprises and secrets to discover :)**

**What do you think?**


	4. Stranded

**Chapter 3: Stranded**

**JPOV**

A few weeks passed by since that moment between me and Bella on the cliff. I came by often again, but made sure to avoid Blondie. They all helped in that, believing that me and her simply couldn't stay in one room and behave.

Today I had been babysitting in the Cullen mansion. They were all on a hunting trip in the mountains, except for Rose and Alice. Alice was shopping and would take my place afterward. And I couldn't care less where Rose was.

Most of the time Nessie just slept. She's used to being dragged around by stone cold arms, and every time I cradle her against my chest, she just peacefully dozes off. It makes me feel proud. As if she waits for me to feel most comfortable. As if Bella was right by saying that the kid misses me when I'm not around.

When she awakes, I take her little hand and place it on my cheek to see whatever she remembers. Mostly I see shapes and colors. Vampire faces as well. Whenever she shows me Bella, I give her a little smile and she giggles. At that she shows me more. I swear this is one smart and intuitive kid. She gives me the opportunity to admire my Bella without her noticing and without mind reader or empath around.

Those moments never last really long, as Nessie tends to sway her little arms around whenever she's excited. So the rest of the time I try to be whatever she needs me to be. Horse. Swing. Plane.

Just when I was in plane mode, Alice came in and I quickly regained my cool, but she snickered anyway.

"Cute, Jacob, real cute."

I grumbled something and handed the baby into her outstretched arms.

Nessie immediately lifted her hand to Alice's cheek and by her laughter I could imagine what she was seeing.

"Nessie," I groaned, "those are private shows. Aunt Alice hasn't paid for tickets."

She didn't understand but cackled anyway and again the little fists were flying around.

Show's over.

"I got her, Jacob, thanks. You can go home," Alice said, in a friendly tone.

I had to fix diner for Billy so I reluctantly kissed the baby goodbye and grabbed my jacket and helmet.

As I was racing home on my motorcycle, I recognized her car instantly. The hood lifted, smoke coming out of it, and as I passed, I saw a glimpse of a furious blonde who was kicking her over expensive knee-high boot against the front. That must leave a nice dent, I thought with a smile. This should piss her off big time, that car was one of her favorites.

As I drove on, I heard Bella's voice in my head, mumbling something about immature and childish. I tried to shake it away, but of course I couldn't. Always ready to play the hero. I didn't want to be Rose's hero, not by far, and she probably wouldn't let me help her either, but if I at least tried, Bella could be proud of me.

So I reluctantly turned around and stopped in front of her still smoking car.

She was wildly gesturing while talking on the phone. I pulled off my helmet and stepped over, carefully.

"Need a ride?"

She gave me a look as if she only just noticed that I was there and then shook her head while she continued talking. So far no bites.

I took a look underneath the hood of her car and immediately identified the problem. I also saw that she had tried to fix it, but in her annoyance had ruined the whole thing. Metal is too fragile in the hands of angry Rose.

I loosened some screws and took out the bent material to take a closer look.

"Don't touch my car," she hissed. I was startled because I hadn't seen her appear next to me.

"Don't worry, I couldn't ruin it more thoroughly than you already did."

She glared at me, threw her hands in the air and talked in her phone again. I guess that's permission for me to continue.

I noticed with a smirk that her boot had indeed left a dent in the front. I called up Billy, telling him to order take out and started working.

I carefully tried to repair all that was damaged before I could start to fix the real problem.

After a few minutes, she was next to me again, but she kept her silence this time.

"It's really a shame to give a tantrum throwing toddler such expensive toys."

"Can you fix it or not?"

"I'm trying. Could you stand over there so I can breathe while I work?"

She nearly growled but stayed next to me anyway, watching my every move intently. I really don't understand how she can treat her car like this if it means that much to her.

I guess she approved of my work, because she didn't interfere. Until she saw that I couldn't quite straighten out the metal piece I was holding. She held out her hand while rolling her eyes.

I ignored her and tried to apply more force.

"Just hand me the damn thing. She's not here to watch your heroism anyway."

"Don't give me that shit, Rose. You want your car fixed or not?"

She sighed deeply like a drama queen, but let me struggle with the pipe until I was satisfied with the result. I really don't like her perceptiveness on my feelings for Bella and I believe I made it clear last time I didn't want to hear it.

I continued working on the engine and after a while I forgot she was there. When everything was straightened and unscrewed, we both saw the problem. She reached out for it, but I instinctively grabbed her wrist and moved her hand away again. We were both startled by this contact and when I looked sideways, she had a surprised look on her face that was probably on my face as well. Our gazes locked for just an instant, and then I blinked and turned my attention towards the car again.

Muttering "don't touch it again".

Another ten minutes later, the conclusion was that the part needed replacing. There was a hole inside and no amount of wolf or vampire power could fix that.

I stood up straight and wiped my hands on my jeans. I sighed deeply and pulled out my most polite voice "I could drive you to Forks to get the part."

"I'm not leaving my car here," was her instant reply.

"Nobody's going to drive it anywhere, trust me."

"And I'm not getting on that thing with a pup driving either," she gestured towards my vehicle. As if I wanted her on it.

"Fine. Suit yourself," I answered relieved and walked back. At least I tried to help.

"Wait."

I slowly turned around.

"Can't _you_ go get that part while I wait here?"

"Now why would I do that, Rose?"

"Because the rest is off hunting and I'll tell Bella what a good dog you were."

At the mention of Bella I turned away again and pulled on my helmet before lifting my leg over the seat.

"Wait, I'm sorry."

I lifted the lid of the helmet and raised my eyebrows at her. "You're sorry?"

"I'm sorry about Bella. I'm sorry you still love her and I'm sorry I can't stop bitching about it. Now will you please get me the parts?"

I eyed her suspiciously.

"If I say yes, will you shut up about her?"

"I can't promise."

I closed the lid again.

"Alright alright, I'll try to. Come on, Jake, don't be such a jerk. I'm practically begging here."

I nodded once and raced on the street, back towards Forks, leaving her in a fountain of sand. I almost turned around to check on her annoyed expression, but that would ruin the effect.

By the time I got back with the new parts, she was cleaned up again, like a Barbie is supposed to.

As I walked over to her she nearly snatched the thing out of my hands, but I didn't let her.

"No way, you're not ruining this one too. Just let me do this so I can get out of here. You've already wasted too much of my time."

I waited for a reply from her, but it never came. She was quiet. I felt confident and added "I know it must suck to depend on a puppy to repair your precious car."

"Just fix it already," she said in an exasperated tone.

I looked up from under the hood and again our eyes locked.

All of the sudden, without her edge, she seemed vulnerable. Just a girl stranded on the highway.

And I don't know why, but I felt sorry for her.

"I won't tell anyone," I said.

"Thanks," she answered.

I wouldn't. I'm the bearer of secrets, mine the biggest of all. And she had figured it out. I needed her to keep her silence as well. We both had some blackmail material about each other and we were forced now to trust each other.

I didn't like it.

I don't know why. The leeches are not that bad. After all I loved one and depended on her leech husband to keep me around. But this one just brought out the worse in me. She might be right about the immature tempered pup thing. Around her I was.

I guess I could try harder to behave.

But face it, where's the fun in that?


	5. Intrigued

**Chapter 4: Intrigued**

**RPOV**

After that day, I didn't give him such a hard time anymore. I won't say I liked him, as my family is starting to do, but I guess I see now that his behavior is mainly my doing. When I'm not around him, I hear him talking to the others and he's not that bad.

In fact, he's amazing with Nessie. And that is surprising, since she's the baby of the man that took his girl.

Well, Bella was never his, technically, but she would have been. We all know that. Even Edward does.

Seeing the sacrifices he makes for her, makes me wonder if anyone would make that kind of sacrifice for me. The truth is of course that I don't want anybody caring for me that much. I would only hurt them.

Right now I was in the living room, surfing the internet, dreaming of a new car. We all have two cars and that's a maximum, but I decided to sell one and buy a jeep instead. We want to take Nessie on future camping trips in the mountains sometimes, so we need a car that can handle that.

The reason why Jake was on my mind, is the fact that I can hear him playing with the baby in the backyard. That baby adores him and I believe the feeling is mutual. His time spent with the kid is not dependent on Bella anymore. Maybe Nessie helps him get over her.

"I'm hoping that too," Edward said. I forgot that he was upstairs and now he descends the stairs and places a chair next to mine to check the internet page.

I look at him in surprise and he shrugs "you think I didn't know? I'm just surprised you're the first to find out, of all people."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Rose. Let me see some more of those jeeps. I liked the one you saw on the previous page."

I was long past the point where his mind reading bugged me. I leaned back so he could reopen the page he was interested in.

"Tell me what you meant, Edward." He knows I'm stubborn enough to drag it out of him.

"I meant that you are mostly not that tuned in on everybody around here."

"That I'm shallow."

"Well, no, not exactly. Just… a little, yes."

"Huh." I didn't know what to think of that. But there's no point in getting angry, he's probably right. Edward knows what's going on in everybody's head and has no reason to lie to me.

"Indeed."

"So you knew about his feelings?"

"Yes."

"How can you let this be?"

He shrugged again. "He had valid arguments."

"I'm sure he did." That sly dog.

"He had her best interest in mind. And Jasper confirmed that."

"Jasper knows too?"

"Obviously."

He kept clicking through the images and checking every possible safety point of the cars.

"Aren't you scared for losing her? They are still so close. Too close."

"Like you said. I'm hoping he's getting over her."

"Is he?"

He stopped clicking and leaned back to look at me without answering.

"What?" I asked.

"Why the sudden interest in Jacob?"

"What? I don't have a sudden interest. I'm just… I don't know, concerned for Nessie."

"What does Nessie have to do with him getting over Bella?"

"Nothing I guess. Never mind."

I wanted to get up, but he didn't let it drop.

"It's okay to like him, Rose. I know he's a werewolf, but secretly we're all starting to like him. He's a good guy."

"Well, I don't like him. And I don't care what you all think."

He smirked at me knowingly and it pissed me off even more, so I got up and went outside.

"Like him," I snorted.

"Like who?" a deep voice asked.

"Great." I glared at him and walked away. Angry at myself for not noticing that I had been walking straight at them.

"See that Nessie? Auntie Rose doesn't want to see you."

I turned around and looked at the kid who had her little arms stretched out at me. I tried to smile at her and stepped away again, but he followed me.

Trying to outrun him would be childish, so I simply sat down, let him hand me the baby and ignored him as he sat down next to me. I focused on Nessie.

How did we end up here together again? I just keep running into him lately.

"What did I do?" he asked.

"Hmmm?"

"For once I'm not trying to annoy you, and you act bitchy anyway."

"I'm not bitchy. Believe me. You ain't seen nothing yet."

"I'll be honest with you Rose. I'm kinda sick of this 'hate you' 'hate you more' thing between us. It's tiring, for me and the rest as well."

I took a deep breath to steady myself.

"I don't hate you. I think."

"Well, that's a relief," he said, sarcastically.

I glared at him.

"Don't be too happy about this. I liked it better when I did."

"Why? Can't we just be, I don't know, indifferent to each other?"

My gaze softened and my anger faded. The look in his eyes told me he really was tired of bitching and annoying all the time. He was a nice guy, so I bet he's not used to people hating him.

And somehow I felt the urge to be open with him. Like I had been that night we were babysitting.

"You want me to be honest with you?"

"Sure."

"The truth is, you intrigue me."

"How so?"

"I can't really explain. You're different than anybody else I met."

"Um… Is that a compliment?"

His eyes were no longer on mine but on Nessie. As if he feared the truth that I would spill.

"I don't know. I guess it is. But it's scary too. With other men, I know what to expect. They look at me, they judge me, and they drool over me. And nobody bothers to look inside. With you, I get the feeling that you do."

"You're intrigued because I don't drool over you?" he asked incredulously.

"Something like that."

"Jeezes Rose, you're so full of yourself. There must be tons of guys that don't like blondes."

"I'm sure there are. But they do exactly the same, judge, drool and move on."

"Really? That's kinda sad."

"No it's not. I'm used to it. Maybe I even like it that way."

"You shouldn't. It's degrading."

"Yes. And you've been treating me with much more respect, that's true." I rolled my eyes.

"Well then I guess I'm more like other guys than you think."

"No you're not. I have the feeling you see me for who I am. And you don't even know it."

He was silent at this. Eyes on Nessie but brow furrowed. I watched his face. Dark eyes, strong lines, but always looking kind. After a long time he looked up at me with an expression I couldn't read.

"I guess I could say the same thing."

"That you're different?"

"No. That you see me. That you know things you're not supposed to know."

"Oh." Forgot about his feelings for Bella.

He looked away now and again we sat in silence. I could feel the heat from his body warming up my left side. And as Nessie was immersed in playing with some leaves on the ground, I listened to his slow and steady heart beat.

It wasn't uncomfortable. Even though I had just opened up to the one I thought I despised most.

Suddenly he said "I do think you're beautiful."

"Aw Jake, don't ruin this moment, please."

He turned his gaze back at me, and shrugged.

"I do. I just don't drool. Dog or not."

We both had to laugh at this, and some of the tension subsided.

"So basically," he concluded, "we both know too much about each other and that's why we can't stand each other."

"Something like that." I nodded.

"Well, since you can keep your secrets, I'm guessing you can keep mine as well."

"Right back at ya."

"Deal."

He held out his hand and I hesitated a few seconds, but then took it.

"Deal."

His long fingers closed around mine, and the warmth immediately spread through me. Our eyes were locked and he didn't let go of my hand.

What I wouldn't give to know what he's thinking right now.

His heart sped up ever so slightly and suddenly his thumb started caressing the skin on the back of my hand.

His gaze moved down over my face and he bit his lower lip, showing me exactly what he was thinking. My grip around his hand tightened but he didn't flinch.

Instead he leaned a little closer to me, so that his shoulder was now touching mine. Another flash of heat coursed through my body and I kept repeating that it was just his temperature, nothing more.

And then, all of the sudden, it was over and he was gone. Leaving me flustered on the forest ground with a clueless baby on my lap.

* * *

**AN: Let me know what you think. The storyline is still entirely open...**


	6. Busted

**Chapter 5: Busted**

**JPOV**

Two weeks passed since we made our deal. Sealed with a handshake and almost sealed with more than that too.

I tried to ignore it, but I was aware of it. There had been something in the air, and I had wanted to do it, and she wanted me to, she didn't pull back.

The one time I did kiss her had been entirely different. She was provoking me then, and I needed to prove a point. This time she wasn't. She was just being Rose. Not even that. Because the Rose I know, I would rather run from.

I don't know what has gotten into her. Why she feels so urged to open up to me lately. I wonder if it still has to do with me reminding her of her ex.

She told me I was different than the other guys she met, because I didn't want her. And then I go wanting her. How weird is that? Maybe she dared me to want her.

Nope. That's bullshit. She told me she trusted me because I didn't.

All this is enough confusion for me to stay the hell away there.

Until now.

I was working in my garage when I got a call from an unknown number.

"What's up?"

"Um… Is this Jacob?" an female voice I couldn't quite recognize asked.

"Sure sure. Who's this?"

"Jacob, it's Rose." Wow. Weird.

"I didn't do it," I blurted out. I don't know why.

"Do what?"

"Whatever it is. I didn't do anything."

"I didn't call over something you did. It's something you don't do."

"What is it?"

"Why don't you come over for Nessie anymore?"

That was quite direct, should I answer equally direct?

"Just been busy, you know."

"With what? You're out of school and you don't have a job."

I ignored her sneering tone and replied coldly "with the pack. And my garage."

"Well, isn't the _imprint_ more important?"

"Why is this your business anyway?"

"Because, as the bearer of your secret, I'm telling you that Bella is getting suspicious."

"That's bullshit, Rose, I saw Bella just yesterday."

"You did? When?"

"What is going on here? Do I need to explain to you where I am, when and why? Just so you can keep my secret?"

"No… I just… Nessie needs you, I know she does. And I have the feeling you're staying away because of me."

"Relax Rose, you're not that important."

This conversation was freaking me out more and more.

"So you're not avoiding me?"

"Nope ," I lied.

"Sooo… if I needed your opinion on the new car I want to buy, you'd be okay?"

"You want _my_ opinion?"

"Well, you're a car expert, aren't you?"

"So are you."

"I know, I'm even better than you, but a second opinion can't hurt."

"Get Edward's."

"So you are avoiding me."

"What the fuck, Rose? Alright, where are the damn cars?"

"In Seattle. I want to drive there tomorrow. Edward and Bella can't come."

"You've got this all planned out, haven't you?"

"Uhuh."

I just hate how used she is to getting her way, and how she tricked me into this. But I wasn't going there unprotected.

"I'll come if you bring Nessie."

"What? But Edward and Bella are taking her."

"Too bad. You said she needed me."

"Fine. I'll figure something. After all, she needs to like the car too."

"That's right."

"Pick you up at seven."

"What?"

"Seven."

Click.

I sighed deeply. How did I get myself into this? I tried not to think about it the rest of the day, and by the time I went to sleep, I found myself looking forward to an entire day with Nessie.

When Rose pulled over at the unholy early hour, I didn't get into the passenger seat, but climbed into the back, where the baby seat was holding my favorite kid in the world.

And I could have sworn that the look on her face told me that she had missed me big time. The entire ride was spent with me entertaining Nessie and her giving me a resume of the passed two weeks. Apparently she didn't want me to miss a thing in her young life and that thought warmed my heart.

Rose was silent, didn't even huff of gave me any funny looks in the rearview mirror.

When we reached the car depot, she wanted to get out of the car and take Nessie, but I was faster. The deal was that the baby was mine for today.

The salesman that rushed over looked really pleased with himself that he was first to help the hot babe. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when Rose swayed her long hair over her shoulders and gave him a sweet smile, asking him for a tour. I made quiet gagging noises and Nessie giggled at that.

The guy pulled every trick he could imagine to impress Rose, and it only took a small smile from her now and then to keep him going.

Until the moment he came over to me, made some scary noises to the baby and said "I can see where this one gets her pretty face," eyeing Rose. I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud and then Nessie added to that by biting down on his outstretched finger with her sharp teeth.

The man cussed and ran off to get a band aid, while the three of us laughed hard. After that, his tour was a little less elaborate.

We weren't going for a tank like car, like the one Bella had gotten when she was still human, but we still wanted Nessie to be as safe as possible, so with each car, we were silently discussing our options at improving strength and safety. With this combined goal ahead of us, we managed to behave. There was no pestering and no physical tension either.

All in all, I was having a good time. Even when Nessie decided to fall asleep in my arms. She wasn't a car lover. Yet.

Before we could return, my hungry stomach needed a refill, and we went to a diner where we both ordered food that I stuffed down on my own.

After I put the sleeping baby in the back, I climbed in the front seat as nonchalantly as possible.

We were able to keep the relaxed atmosphere up till we were in LaPush, mainly talking cars. Not a word was said about her past and about Bella, and it felt good that way.

When she reached my house, there was nobody around, and I wondered if I was supposed to ask her in now. I don't know why. Vampires have no reason to come in, they don't drink, don't eat, don't use the bathroom and the place stinks to them. She looked like she wanted to thank me for coming along, but she couldn't say it. The relaxed atmosphere was completely down the drain, and it was replaced with something I couldn't name.

And then, all of the sudden, without warning, she attacked me. Not in a bad way. Oh no, in a very good way to be honest.

I didn't think, I just kissed her back wildly, knowing that she could handle it. Again I tasted some blood in my mouth, but it didn't stop me.

In no time she had straddled me, and her hands were in my hair, pullig my face closer to hers. Her cold tongue was fighting with mine, and my hands were pulling her body closer to me. My hand sneaked underneath her blouse and my warm fingers over her back made her shiver and press herself harder against me.

This totally came out of nowhere, and I let it happen. As the feverish kiss continued, and as my hands roamed to her chest, her lower back moved closer to me and I slid down further in the seat, pushing my hips upwards, letting her feel me.

We were awoken from this crazy make out session by a loud giggle in the back.

Both our faces snapped up and we looked shocked at the baby, who was staring back at us, making excited cries and clapping her little hands.

Rose's eyes grew even wider, we both knew what this meant. And there was no erasing it. And seeing Nessie enthusiasm, she sure as hell was going to show her memory to every face that came near her.

Rose was in her seat again, cursing hard, which made Nessie cackle even more.

I was dumbfounded, trying to think of a solution, or an explanation. But it was exactly what it looked like.

"Get out," Rose said through gritted teeth.

"What?"

"I said get out."

The look on her face told me she meant business, so I opened the door and stepped out. This time it had been her who kissed me, so she had no right to treat me this way, and my anger rose even further when she raced off even before I could properly close the door behind me.

* * *

**AN: Let all hell break loose! **


	7. Don't get me upset

**Chapter 6: Don't get me upset**

**RPOV**

I tried my best to distract Nessie, took her to all sorts of exciting places, attempting to push that memory back. And it worked.

For three long agonizing days, that is…

"ROOOOSE," he bellowed. And then his laughter rumbled through the house.

Great. Of all people.

I quickly ran towards him and said in a low voice: "Outside, now," before I ran off into the forest.

Emmett followed me, with Nessie, who shrieked at the high speed, still on his arm.

When he caught up with me, he handed me the baby, and that's when his laughter broke through full force. His hands slapped his thighs.

I wasn't amused though. I stood there thoroughly ashamed, while Nessie gladly showed me the image that had made him convulse, expecting me to laugh as well. I had no need to watch myself making out with Jacob, so I peeled off her little hand, and she turned her attention to Emmett again.

"Please tell me she dreamed that, Rose," he managed to choke out.

"Yeah, babies dream that stuff all the time." I rolled my eyes.

Emmett grew serious at this. The humor of the situation was a bit lost now he stopped to think about it.

"What the fuck, Rose? And when were you going to tell me?" He didn't sound angry, or raise his voice, but his tone was demanding nevertheless.

"There's nothing going on. I don't know why it happened. And I believe it is obvious now why I didn't tell you."

"So you're not sleeping with the dog?"

"No, of course not! Get a grip, will you."

"Well, you looked like you had a grip, alright. Tell me then what that looked like."

"Like I told you. It just happened, I don't know why."

"Just this once? With the coincidence of the baby overseeing?"

"Twice. That's all."

"You kissed him twice?" He rubbed his face in disbelief. I could hardly believe it myself. If Nessie hadn't shown him, he would have thought I was messing with him.

"The first time he kissed me."

"But Rose… of all your options? Really, you surprise me."

I glared at him. I almost defended Jacob, but then thought that this might not be the best choice right now.

"He's a pup for fucks sake! A freakin' werewolf! Underage!" He looked like he could go on with this, so I stopped him.

"I know, I know!" I yelled. And then added softer in defeat "I know."

Emmett took pity in me and pulled me closer to him, the baby in between our chests.

"Rose, baby, are you in love with him?"

"No!" My eyes were opened in shock.

"Okay, I'm just asking. Because with the imprint..."

"Yah, I know. Can you please not tell anyone else?"

"Well, I won't, but this one might." He pointed at Nessie.

I sighed, my face scrunched up in deep thought.

"You can't have secrets in this house, Rose," he said, feeling for me.

I know I can. Edward would keep his silence. But Nessie witnessing was a problem indeed.

And the next days to come, it appeared that Emmett was a problem as well. Whenever he could, he gave me a knowing look or made some under the table comment that was way too obvious for the other vampires not to notice. By the end of the week, they all knew, and I never felt more embarrassed about something.

Not everybody gave me a hard time about it, just Emmett and Jasper, but the rest would snicker as well, loud enough for me to hear. For instance when we were watching TV and a dog would appear, Jasper would wink at me, asking me if I could please hold my hormones down. Or earlier today, when Emmett was playing with Nessie, he suddenly asked her "would baby Nessie like to have a pet, like auntie Rose has?" And the giggles that came from upstairs told me that he had said it loud enough.

Seeing all this, it's not to be called surprising that the atmosphere was heavily tensed, and my mood was below freezing point when Jake came around five days later to pick up Ness. He tried to ignore it as good as he could, although they were not hiding their amusement, and he stepped over to me, standing by the crib.

"It must be hard for you, Rose, living with a bunch of immature leeches," he said in a friendly tone. I know he meant it in a helpful way, to show the rest that they were now acting more childish than we were. But I didn't want to hear it.

"Get lost Jake, I've got nothing to say to you."

I might have overdone it, to prove a point to the rest. To show them I still hated him. But the hurt look on his face, stung me.

Now I got started, however, I couldn't stop. I took Nessie out, handed her over and I added "don't get any ideas in that puppy head of yours, take the kid and go."

His eyes look hurt, but his face hardened and he said: "I'm glad to see your true self resurfacing, guess I've mistaking you for somebody else."

I turned around and took my usual flight route into the backyard, listening to him muttering under his breath "bitch."

"Jerk," I whispered and disappeared between the threes.

I was surprised when I heard another curse coming from the house and then noticed him following me. I turned around to glare at him, and tried to think of another bitchy remark, but he didn't give me a chance and he shoved me against a tree, startling me.

His face stayed inches from mine, I could feel his warmth breath against my lips, but his mouth never touched me. His body however was very much touching me, heat radiating from him, head to toe. His nose skimmed over my face, lips still not on mine, as he pushed his hips forcefully against me. And then he growled in my ear, almost too quiet to hear "I am. Not. A pup."

I opened my mouth to answer, but he was already gone.

And this time I was left more than flustered. I was completely frustrated, because there was no denying it. Damn how I had wanted to feel those lips on mine. And knowing that shoving me against a tree and being pressed up against me was enough for him to grow hard, made my stomach drop.

It had me wondering now what could have happened if I hadn't hurt him. Because that was obvious as well. We opened up to each other, I kissed him, and then I turn against him in front of my entire family. He was so right about calling me a bitch. Maybe he was the first to be right about this. All other men only meant that I was an Ice Queen, distant. They were wrong. Jake had been right just now.

And he was right about the pup thing as well. I know he's underage, legally, but that body I just felt… it was the body of a full grown man. Even thinking about how he felt, all of him, made me hot again. And it wasn't so much what he did to me, but what he didn't do. He showed me alright that he could resist me just fine.

I was the one that couldn't resist him. No matter how hard it is to admit. I want a werewolf.

I want him. Bad.

* * *

**AN: Angry Jacob is a tease! ;-)**


	8. Lies and Truths

**Chapter 7: Lies and Truths**

**JPOV**

I got back into the house, where everybody was watching me expectantly. And the look on the one face I noticed was too much for me. She looked disappointed. Probably angry that I betrayed her daughter.

I instantly turned around and left the house again, ready to phase to get rid of all built up emotions. They would have to find another babysitter tonight.

I ran for hours, until no more vampires were on my mind, but when I got home, it had all been in vain, because the woman of my dreams was sitting on the front porch waiting for me.

"I don't want to talk, Bells."

"I thought we were friends, Jake," she said, with a hurt look on her face.

It made my annoyance disappear. I could never withstand that sad expression in her eyes. Never have and never will. I sighed deeply.

"We are, you know that. Come in."

I went into the kitchen and started preparing some snacks. Phasing always makes me hungry.

Bella waited patiently, wanting my full attention for our talk. When I finally sat down, devouring the stack of potatoes I baked, she began.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't have to tell you everything, Bella. Even if you're my best friend."

She wasn't pleased with this answer, but it was the truth. In fact, I didn't owe her anything. Not even friendship.

"Well, if you're messing with my family, it is my business."

"For your information, it was Rose attacking me, so get off my back."

That sounded more harshly than I meant it, but I was sick of being blamed for stuff I didn't do.

"I'm sorry, Bells. But if you're angry about this, you need to talk to her."

"I saw the image Jake," she said softly, "and you didn't exactly look like a victim."

I focused on my food real hard. It was more than a little embarrassing that she saw me making out.

Silence. Chewing. Swallowing. More silence.

"What about the imprint?" she finally asked.

"What about it?"

"I thought it made sure you never wanted anybody else."

"There's no written manual, Bella. I don't know how it works." Not denying that I wanted Rose.

She looked out of the window.

"Why don't you tell me the real problem here?" I reached out and placed my hand under her chin, turning her face towards me. I know this girl, who has been my best friend for a long time, so well, but I have absolutely no clue what she's thinking now.

She leaned her cheek against my warm hand and looked into my eyes. I would swear that she was hurt. But sure she can't expect me to have a celibacy life until Nessie is grown up?

"I don't know," she whispered. Something dawned on me then.

"Are you jealous?" I asked her softly.

She looked down and then whispered "no, of course not."

She's a terrible liar.

I let go of her and rested my hands on the table.

"That's good. Because I want you to be happy with Edward."

"I am," she said, and she nodded a little too enthusiastically.

"And I want to follow my heart without hurting you."

Now she looked up again at me, sad.

"I was only thinking about Nessie. Really."

"Alright then," I said. I let her off the hook and wanted to start eating again.

Suddenly my phone rang and I saw the number I saved last week. Rose.

I looked apologetic from Bella to my phone and she nodded again. Before I could say sorry, she was out of the door.

"Yes," I said after picking up. I wanted to sound angry, but in reality my rage was completely vanished after this scene with Bella. Who still had feelings for me...

I was grateful for the phone call so I didn't have to dwell on that realization.

"Can we meet somewhere and talk?"

"I don't think seeing you is a very good idea right now. You can say what you need to say over the phone."

She was silent for a while and I waited patiently.

Not for long though.

"Let me help you. You're sorry."

"Um… Yes."

"That's a start. Would mean more if you were able to say it out loud though."

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I acted that way. Well, yes I do know. But it's not their fault, and it's not your fault either."

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"Yes. Alright. What else do you want me to say?"

"Um… Nothing I guess."

"So that's all?"

"Well, I wanted to explain, but I don't know if I can. First of all, they weren't supposed to know."

"Same for me, Rose. And it would have been nice to give me the heads up that they found out, I thought Emmett would want to kill me."

"Oh, don't worry about Emmett. We have an open relationship, sort of. He is merely… amused."

"Open relationship?"

"Well, basically, we know we're not each other's soul mates, but we love each other and stick together till he finds his singer again. And in the mean time, we can do whatever we please with whomever we please." I believe she means with every vampire they please.

I sat down in the couch and got comfortable, swinging my legs over the arm rest.

"So he's looking for his real soul mate?"

"Not really looking, but somewhat waiting yes. If she's his, she'll find him."

"And what about you?"

"I'm… I don't know. Not looking and not waiting. I don't need a soul mate."

She sounded like she didn't want to talk about that, so I let it drop.

"So Emmett's not jealous?"

"Not really no."

"Good. Bella is though."

I don't know why I confided this in her. I guess I was still a little bit shocked at finding out.

"I thought she would be. Ever since I noticed about you, I paid attention to her as well. Good thing Edward doesn't know. He wouldn't be too pleased anymore with the fake imprint."

And this day didn't stop to surprise me.

"So guard your thoughts, okay?"

"Of course."

"Tell me something. Honestly. Is this the guilty Rose talking or is this the real Rose? 'Cause you are confusing me here."

"Um… I don't know. I have several real me's."

"Yah, that's obvious." I sighed.

"I'm not pretending now. So this is a version of the real me."

"And before?"

"That was me being pissed."

"So I noticed. So the bitch is real as well. But what you said, did you mean it?"

"I guess not."

"Good. I've been thinking. And now you are being honest, you might as well be ready to admit there's a thing between us. Don't ask me what it is. All I know is that it scares the hell out of me."

"Why does it scare you?"

"Because I don't feel in control. Like just now, outside, what I did to you. I'm a little ashamed about that."

"Well, don't be. It was kinda hot," she chuckled and I almost blushed. "But yeah, I guess I know what you mean. It scares me too. And even now this, me admitting that something startles me… It's weird, but I trust you."

"I trust you too, even though…"

"…I'm a bitch, yeah. Just so you know, you can trust me. I wouldn't tell your secret to anybody. Even when I'm pissed."

"Me neither."

"Well, you could phase and spill secrets to your pack anyway. Why didn't you phase? You looked angry enough."

"I wasn't angry, actually. I was put off."

"And hurt?"

"Maybe," I admitted quietly.

"I'm sorry." For the first time she sounded genuinely sorry.

"It's okay. I understand I guess."

"So now what? With us."

"I have no idea. Part of me wants to stay the hell away from you. A big part of me. But then there's still this small part…"

"… that is dying to be with me."

"Yes."

"I feel the same."

"So I don't know."

"Maybe we should let the bigger part win."

"That's probably for the best."

"We would only make things more complicated."

"Yes. Complicated is not good."

"Indeed. So no seeing it is."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

We were both silent after this. My eyes stared up at the ceiling and I listened intently to any sound that might come through, but no breath or heartbeat could reveal her presence.

Until she said softly "talking to you now makes the small part bigger though."

"Hmmm, mine too."

"So best not calling either?"

"Indeed."

After another shorter silence she concluded "goodnight Jake."

"Goodnight Rose."

And she hung up.

* * *

**AN: Share your thoughts at Bella's lies and Rose's truths...**


	9. Therapy

**Chapter 8: Therapy**

**RPOV**

I know I shouldn't. I should just turn away now. Now I was still safe from being hurt. But I couldn't stop myself. So I did it anyway. I pressed dial.

"Rose?"

"Yes."

"What's up? Is there something wrong with Nessie?"

"No no, she's fine. I just… Look. I know we weren't going to talk anymore. But what would you say if I told you I really need to talk to somebody right now, and you are the only one that pops to my mind?"

He didn't answer and I could hear him sigh. I regretted my weakness instantly.

"Forget about it. I'm sorry I called."

"No, give me a sec. I'm thinking… How about dinner in Port Angeles?"

"I'm not exactly hungry."

"So that's more food for me."

"You think we'll be safer from misbehaving there."

"You got me."

"Alright. Pick you up at eight?"

"Sure sure."

I got there early, and of course he made me wait, but I was thankful he wanted to spend his time with me anyway. When he got into the car, he scrunched his face from the smell and I rolled my eyes.

"You look like you want to run as far away as possible," I chuckled.

He relaxed a bit.

"Just never know what mood you're gonna be in."

"Well, I invited you. So why would I be in a bad mood?"

"Even when you kiss me, you're bitchy. I can't help but be a little apprehensive."

"That's fair I guess."

We drove to Port Angeles in uneasy silence, but once in the restaurant we were able to calm down.

We ordered food and talked about nothing important. Least of all about the things I needed to talk about. But he didn't push me. I was glad the chemistry between us had evaporated a bit. For now at least. I felt safe around him.

After dinner I did start to feel a little awkward again. Because I had called him out to talk and instead we just chatted, which had been fun too, but he must be wondering what was up.

As if he could read my mind, he suddenly said: "You don't have to tell me, Rose. But if you want to, we could go to a pub, and you can just talk whenever you're ready."

"What time do you have to be home?"

"No time really."

So we went to a pub nearby and sat down somewhere in the back. I decided, since I called him out here, that I might as well have the guts to open up so I gathered my courage.

"Do you remember that night we had to babysit together?"

He gave me a look that said "duh".

"I mean, do you remember what we talked about? The things I told you."

"I remember some, but you said several things." He looked at me, not knowing where I was going with this. I would have to be more specific.

"I told you about my relationship with Royce. How _that_ time wasn't the first time."

He nodded for me to continue.

"Well, I think I had burried these memories until then, and now... now I let my secret go, they've been coming back to me."

"You know I won't tell anyone."

"I know. It's only… the fact that I told you, out loud, makes it all so real. And it's not just memories… It's more like… flashbacks."

"What is the difference?" He seemed genuinly concerned and I felt eased now, compelled to be more honest with him than I have ever been with anybody.

"It's like dreaming, for as much as I remember that. Only far more real. Like being back there again. So detailed." I shivered. "While human memories should have faded a long time ago. I can feel my heart beating, feel my jaw breaking and the blood running down my nose. Feel everything…"

I looked down at the table, ashamed. Because Jake knows I didn't really fight Royce off. He knows I let him treat me this way.

He was silent so I peeked up to see the look on his face. His brow was furrowed as he stared at the empty glass in his hands.

"Do they notice?"

"No. I sort of feel when the flashbacks are coming and make sure I'm alone."

"Maybe you shouldn't be alone."

"I have to be. They don't know. I don't want them to."

"But I know. You could come to me."

"No no. I shouldn't even be telling you. Putting this on your shoulders. You're no therapist, and you're so young."

"Don't worry about it. I mean, I've got no idea what to do here. But maybe it helps to just talk about it."

"Maybe. Maybe not. I needed to talk to somebody, but now I don't know what to say."

"You're not used to opening up."

"That's an understatement. And I'm afraid I will be sorry about this in the morning."

He looked into my eyes, hurt that I would regret trusting him.

"Don't take this wrong, Jake. I know you won't tell anyone. Just… this makes me vulnerable. And I don't like it."

"I guess I can understand that. But right now, you're not sorry, so talk to me. Your last flashback, when did it happen, what was it like?"

So I told him all I could remember. About how I made an excuse to go hunting alone and then crumbled on the forest ground before passing out and reliving the first time Royce raped me.

How he made me believe it was my fault, that I asked for it looking the way I did. How it didn't even qualify as a rape, because my only feeble protests were silent tears. How I tried to hold onto the sweet words he said to me the day before and squeezed my eyes shut to forget how he changed sometimes.

Talking about it didn't help me. In fact it made me feel worse.

His reaction however was something I hadn't expected. I thought he would be disgusted, and would stare at me in disbelief and pity. Or maybe even thinking, somewhere deep inside, that Royce had been right. That I had this coming by walking around in high heels and tight jeans.

Instead he just nodded. As if I was giving him a report of a baseball game.

So I gave him more details. Not physical details, but thoughts and feelings I could remember. I don't know if I was trying to scare him away, or testing him, but somehow I kept spilling my deepest shames. How I was truly convinced Royce just couldn't help it. How easy it had been for him to make me do whatever he wanted, if only he wouldn't leave me.

And Jake just kept acting as if any person would let this happen. As if it was something natural.

"Aren't you freaked at all?" I finally asked in utter disbelief.

"Of course I am freaked. That man…" He shook his head.

"I don't mean by what he did. I mean by me."

"What about you?"

"You know," I whispered.

"So you loved this man a lot more than he deserved and you lost yourself back there. You think I can't relate to that? To loving too much. So much you can't let go even though it's killing you?"

We looked into each other's eyes and only now I fully understood what this Bella situation must be like for him.

He continued.

"So maybe it's not the same. She doesn't abuse me physically. But emotionally… She keeps me around and hurts me over and over again. Even now. She's got the guts to be _jealous_." He rolled his eyes.

"And I can't even be mad at her. Man, I'm fucking _glad_ she's jealous." He took a deep breath to calm down and then added in a softer voice "So yeah, if you're sick, then I'm sick too."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe we just loved too much."

"Or love the wrong people," he said. At this our eyes met and he gave me a piercing gaze.

Who knew a puppy could be so wise. To make me see that I hadn't committed a huge crime. True, I had hurt myself, but I was just a girl in love with the wrong boy.

And maybe I don't have to be strong all the time.

Just maybe, next time it hits me, I would run to him.

* * *

**AN: What do you think about Rose's hidden side?**


	10. To trust or not to trust

**Chapter 9: To trust or not to trust**

**JPOV**

She was the first to break eye contact and look back at the table, to her hands, and a small smile played over her lips. She looked more human than she ever did, vulnerable and sweet. Almost blushing. Maybe more beautiful as well, now that pretty face was relaxed and not scolding all the time.

Without thinking I slowly reached over the table and placed my hand over her cold fingers. She looked startled for an instant, but never moved her hand away.

"Are you okay, Rose?"

Her golden eyes looked back up and she smiled a little wider, squeezing my hand.

"I'm fine," she answered, as if this amazed her as well. "I feel better now. I don't know how you did that. I'm not sorry I called you. For once my instincts were right."

"Maybe tomorrow you will…"

"I actually don't think so. Speaking of tomorrow. It's well past midnight. I should probably get you home."

How much I hated to admit it, my eyes were starting to burn and I needed to sleep.

She payed the bill – repaying my therapy services – and drove back towards Forks. Much slower than earlier. I had the feeling she didn't want this to end any more than I did.

She parked the car between the trees a short distance from my house, not wanting me to get any questions from the pack. As if I could hide any of it when phasing. But I would worry about that later.

"So…" she said, and then trailed off, looking sideways towards me. I just sat there, without getting out, staring at my hands in my lap, fumbling with the key.

"Look Rose, I get what you say about the different you's. It's how you cope and I'm sure I'll meet bitchy Rose again soon enough. Just so you know, I like this Rose. The one I talked to tonight."

I looked up at her and repeated "I really like you."

It was a risk. Saying something like that. It could give her the idea I was getting too close and make her run. I didn't want her to shut me out again. Right now, I felt like she was the only one who knows what it's like to be me.

But her eyes told me she wasn't afraid. She trusted me completely.

More than that. She looked at me like I was someone special. Like maybe even the most special person in the universe at this moment.

It gave me wings. And slowly I leaned over to her and placed my hand on her cheek. My eyes were intently on hers as I was closing the distance. She had plenty of time to run. Or to stop me. A small glint of panic in her eyes would have been enough. But all I could see was a reflection of my own amazement. Who would have thought…

And unlike last time, when my lips had been almost touchings hers in a teasing manner, this time I didn't stop. I didn't doubt, didn't think.

I placed a soft kiss on her mouth, and she returned it. I leaned in even closer to lace my hand through her hair and deepened the kiss. I chuckled softly as I recalled what she had said to me during our first kiss and I repeated now "You don't taste half as bad as you smell."

Our foreheads were touching and our eyes connected.

"This scares me a little," she whispered.

"Me too," I answered honestly "but let's worry about it tomorrow."

She understood and tilted her head again, for another kiss. We both knew nothing more would come from this, and our hands were only caressing cheeks, necks and hair. We just felt like this was the right way to end an intimate night. After a while however, my twisted back and neck were too uncomfortable and I leaned back into the passenger's chair again.

Only then I realized how wrong this was.

"I'm sorry, Rose," I said, staring through the front window.

"For what?"

"For taking advantage of you like that. You open up to me and tell me how your pretty face has gotten you into trouble and then I go and kiss it."

"You think I'm pretty?"

"Of course. I know you hate it, but I can't help it. I'm a man and I notice that you're beautiful."

"I don't hate it when you say it."

"Oh."

"And you didn't take advantage of me. I thought you opened up as well?"

"I did."

"So then we were both vulnerable and we just felt like kissing."

I turned my head and looked at her thankfully.

"We are making things so complicated, Rose."

"Right now, I really don't care."

"Well, I hope you feel the same tomorrow."

"We'll see. Will you call me?"

"If you want me to."

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll call you. Goodnight, Rose."

"Goodnight, Jacob."

I gave her another kiss. It didn't last quite as long, but felt even more real because now we had stopped to think about it and decided to follow through anyway.

I watched her drive away, got into the house, changed and got under the covers. I lay awake for a long time. Overthinking all she told me. I had been a lot more shocked than I allowed myself to show her. I was glad she killed that bastard a long time ago, otherwise I would go hunt him down myself.

* * *

The next day I watched my phone, but I didn't want her possibly changed mood to kill my buzz, so I kept myself from calling her for now. Keeping busy with cleaning up my room.

However, when the door bell rang, I couldn't help but hope a little.

When I opened it and saw Bella, I didn't know what to feel.

She simply stepped in, went into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I suppose I was expected to sit down as well, so I did and waited.

She thought about what to say and then baffled me by deadpanning "Edward told me what you and Rose did last night."

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times but no real answer came, except for a comment about how incredibly discrete he was with his gift.

"He believed this concerned our family and I had the right to know, but he begged me not to tell anyone."

Smooth one Edward. First playing along with the game and now pretending to be honest with her when it comes to the baby. Still not fighting fair. Still believing he needs to fight for her.

"What exactly did he tell you?"

"That you two kissed."

"And that's why you're here?"

"Are you in love with her?"

"Look Bella. You're wrong. This doesn't concern you or your family. I'm not hurting Nessie by anything I do. We'll deal with the future later, okay?"

She shook her head and muttered "this isn't about Nessie."

"If this isn't about her, then it's even less of your business."

Her eyes lifted towards mine, a pained gaze. If she had been human, tears would have wetted her cheeks.

"Please Jake, you have to be honest with me. You're my best friend. Why don't you trust me?"

My annoyance faded, I really can't resist that look of hers, so I gave in.

"Fine. I don't know what to say because I don't know what I feel. I might be falling for her, yes." Although I wasn't ready to admit that.

She gasped and then looked down again. It killed me that I had to hurt her the way she had hurt me so many times before.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Never mind."

She was never going to admit it anyway.

"Is it wrong for me to still – somewhere deep down – want you for myself? To not want to share you?"

Oh yes. So very wrong.

But her pleading face made me say something else.

"No Bella. We've been close for so long. It's only natural that you feel like our friendship is threatened. But I promise you, you won't lose me. You're still my best friend."

It eased her mind, I could tell. But I hated myself for it.

For not being able to tell her the truth. That she was hurting me. A lot.

That I needed her to back off. To let me go.

I simply couldn't hurt her. So I let her believe all she felt towards me was healthy friendship and all I felt was the same.

She stood up and walked around the table, sat down in my lap and hugged me tight. I tucked her head against my neck, and rubbed her back, repeating that I would always be her friend.

While a silent tear ran over my cheek.

My own feeble protest against the abuse she was putting me through.

And I let her hurt me again.

* * *

**AN: Things are changing for all three of them. What do you think? Share your thoughts...**


	11. Vengeance

**Chapter 10: Vengeance**

**RPOV**

_~*~  
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover  
I'm a child, I'm a mother  
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint  
I do not feel ashamed  
~*~_

He never called me the next day. And I was growing more and more annoyed with myself for checking over and over again if there was something wrong with my cell.

Emmett was highly amused at my stubborness for not calling him. But I had been the one to call him yesterday, and to force myself on him, with all my dirty secrets. I would come on too strong if I called first now. So I didn't.

He tried to soothe me, by saying Jake might have a perfect excuse, but I didn't buy it. It only takes one minute to pick up the phone and say "Hey, kinda busy now, talk to you later, okay?" Not that I would be okay with that, but still...

So I waited. And kept checking my phone.

Nothing came.

And the next day same story.

My irritation with myself grew to unknown heights as I still found myself watching that stupid phone, which was lucky to still be alive.

Many times I was at the verge of pulling a tantrum and calling him to say that he didn't need to bother anymore. But the thing is, he wasn't bothering, so that would only sound highly dramatic and ridiculous.

Other times I was ready to plead, and when the anger returned I was very grateful that I had been able to retain my pride. I just didn't understand. He said he liked the open me, and now I trusted him completely, he just dissapeared on me.

Had I pushed him too hard? Had I come too close? Or did he just not care?

The only explanation that was a little bit acceptable came from Edward. He walked over to me when I was repeating these same thoughts over and over and said:

"Please Rose, try to relax. From what I've seen he kissed you and he had opened up to you too. He might as well be freaked about that. Give him some time or call him up yourself. But please stop this."

So I decided to give him time. For three very long hours, which I filled with hunting.

After I came back I found myself staring at the phone again, and that's when I lost my pride anyway and pressed dial.

"Hello?"

"Hi," I said as casually as I could.

"Hi Rose, what's up?" What's up?!? He's got to be kidding me.

"Not much. Just a little worried, I thought you would call." I tried to sound nonchalantly, but I don't know if I pulled it off.

"Oh right, sorry. Been kinda busy, pack and all."

He didn't sound like the Jake from two days ago. He sounded uninterested, distant, and I felt like a stupid girl for waiting so long for this call and then being utterly dissapointed.

"That's alright," I lied.

"It's just… me and the guys, busy you know."

"I'll leave you to it then," I said, with a pain in my chest, hoping that he'd tell me not to leave him to it.

"Okay. Maybe I'll talk to you later. I'm picking up Nessie tonight."

So I guess he's not too busy for babysitting, for pleasing his Bella.

"Sure."

"Bye."

Click.

So that was it.

Those were all the words I would get. And they were all the wrong words.

Now I regretted very much how I had opened up to him, and I promised myself to be stronger next time. No more giving in to my urges to trust him. If this is how he treats my trust, he's not worth it.

I felt like a moron for calling him first, and I would show him tonight that I was not hanging for a glint of his attention. I couldn't care less if he wanted to talk to me or not. Or at least I would pretend to.

So I asked Bella when he would pick up the baby, and about fifteen minutes before that, I dragged Emmett towards our room and opened the window that gave out over the front porch.

He looked at me questioningly at first, but then he understood. He's not dumb and he knows me after all.

"I like this game, and I'll play along gladly, but isn't it a little childish?"

I rolled my eyes at the master of childish games.

"If the immature pup rather plays with his kid friends, then I'll show him I rather play with grown ups."

"So I guess the plan is that I make you scream?" He asked, with a devilish grin on his cute face.

"I know you can, babe," I answered as I stepped towards him, slowly unbuttoning my jeans.

He sat down on the bed and pulled me closer to him, enjoying the show. I gave him a little lap dance, to show him how grateful I was that he wanted to play along, while removing every piece of clothing I was wearing. His hands softly carressed every inch of skin I was slowly exposing and his eyes turned darker with every touch.

After my jeans were tossed aside, I straddled him on the bed and I rolled my hips as my bra slid down my chest. He opened his mouth to lick my nipples while I pulled him up to undress him. As soon as my hand slid into his boxers and gripped him tight, he couldn't hold back anymore. He flipped me onto my back onto the bed, and all remaining clothes were shredded, while his hands were now touching and teasing me everywhere.

It was a genius plan, I was getting something out of it, and I could tell that Emmett was going to fulfill his role masterly.

We heard the car arrive on the driveway, and he slid the head of his cock up and down between my legs. Entering just a little bit and then pulling back again, making me squirm beneath him.

When the car engine was turned off and the door opened and closed again, Emmett winked at me, and when the footsteps were on the porch steps, he pushed into me with one forceful trust, making me moan loudly. I noticed somewhere, behind the pleasure, that the steps had stopped, but Emmett kept pounding me and I didn't register when they started moving again.

When Emmett slowed down, I noticed the voices downstairs, pretending they didn't know. Jacob sounded very much unaffected, to my dissapointment. I could hear him laughing with Bella, out loud, over something Nessie was doing.

Like the happy little couple they'll never be.

Emmett woke me from my thoughts by whispering in my ear.

"You want to hear him, don't you? You want to hear him suffer."

I looked into his eyes but didn't answer. Slowly he kept moving inside of me, deeply and I closed my eyes again.

"Well Rose, that's not gonna happen. Because I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you won't be able to hear anything but your own screaming."

I smirked at Emmett and said with a steady voice "then why don't you, Emmett?"

He growled and pinned both my wrists above my head on the pillow, tightly gripped in one big hand. His other hand moved in between our bodies and he started pounding me again with high speed and force.

He was right. Soon enough I was all groans and screams and the rest of the world had vanished.

I didn't even remember why I started this game and I was grateful to Emmett for litterally fucking me senseless.

Apparently that was exactly what I needed.

* * *

**AN: Who's wrong, Jake or Rose? Or both?**


	12. Mess

**Chapter 11: Mess**

**JPOV**

I was glad Edward and Jasper weren't there. They would see right through it.

Bella didn't. She was merely a little embarrassed by the sounds, but I think she enjoyed the fact that it was rubbed in my face that Rose wasn't mine. She wasn't Emmett's either, but Bella didn't know that.

I had come here, hoping to talk to Rose. She sounded very strange on the phone. Very fake.

And I was worried a bit. I felt guilty for not calling, but it wasn't really a lie. I had been busy.

And then there was the whole Bella thing. If I was falling for Rose, people would get hurt. And I wasn't ready for that. So I needed to stop this before my heart got involved.

But then she called and sounded so… desperate. And desperately trying to hide just that.

And I knew I had been wrong. Hearts were involved already. I told her she could lean on me with this secret she can't tell anybody else. And as soon as Bella pops up with sad eyes I pull back again.

She didn't have the right. She had her Edward. And Rose had no soul mate. Just a lover, and a newly found friend. Because I truly believed I wanted to be that. Her friend.

I promised myself to see through all the shells she was building and all the weapons she was using.

And I wanted to talk to her tonight.

But now… she seemed busy too.

I know that this was one of her weapons. And I wouldn't let her scare me away. So as soon as Bella left, I took the baby with me and sat down on the front porch steps. I would wait until she was finished, and then I would talk to her. Tell her I was sorry. I was going to be a better friend.

I ignored the sounds as best as I could, pretending it was just a movie playing and I focused on the memories Nessie was sharing with me. I kept quiet, didn't want to be busted as a pervy eavesdropper. From time to time the baby squealed when remembering something funny, and I held my breath, but the couple upstairs didn't notice.

If I was honest with myself, this was getting to me more than it should.

At first I had felt like she was faking it. And it didn't make me feel bad. Because it meant that she was secretly thinking about me. In an angry way perhaps, but I guess I deserved that.

But now, as the time was passing by… Let's just say she wasn't faking anymore. And neither was Emmett.

I should probably get up and leave, talk to her later, but I couldn't.

I have no idea how Nessie was able to fall asleep with all that noise, but she did. I was sure I wouldn't sleep in a while. I could hear their bodies slamming into each other. I heard him grunting and groaning and her whispering his name in between the screams.

And it hurt me.

I let my head rest against the porch fence on my side and kept waiting.

Damn insatiable untiring vampires.

I guess I could understand now why she called me a pup, if she had _that_ in her bed every night.

I don't know why this made me so sad. I firmly wiped my cheeks and tried to focus on the baby again. Why am I even still here?

I must have been sitting there for hours, because suddenly Bella was back and surprised to see me.

I wanted to pretend to have fallen asleep, but she already saw that I was awake, and it would look ridiculous anyway. I guess babysitting time is over.

She was alone and sat down next to me. She was silent, didn't ask me what I was doing, so she knew.

I looked up once, but the pity and hurt made me look away again fast.

Finally she whispered "You should go home, Jake."

"I just need to talk to her, Bella. There were some things left unsaid."

"There's no reason to believe they'll stop this any time soon. They can go at it for hours and hours."

Did she _have_ to rub that in?

I shook my head stubbornly and didn't make a motion to leave.

"I don't know why you are hurting yourself like that. She's no good for you. And she can't be yours."

Wrong. You're no good for me. Although apparently Rose isn't either.

"Would you rather me be with someone that _can_ be mine?" I asked her softly without looking up.

"No," she admitted.

That surprised me. I looked up and saw her staring at me.

"What is it, Bella?"

She just shrugged but kept staring. Stubbornly silent.

And then she moved closer.

For over a year, maybe even two years, I had craved for her to make this move. To lean in and kiss me.

And now that she's married with a baby, now I finally start to get feelings for somebody else, she's got the nerve to do this?

And I'm the most stupid of all, as I'm not able to pull back.

This would have been the perfect opportunity for me, to show her she can't mess with me like that. To show myself I'm over her, that I'm no longer waiting for her to finally realize what we could have together. Because quite frankly, if she did realize this, I don't know if I could take the offer. Tear Nessie's family apart.

But I was having a weak moment right now. Upstairs Rose kept screaming her husband's name and I wanted to be out of it.

I leaned towards Bella as well. I let her kiss my lips and I tasted her. I closed my eyes and pretended life wasn't complicated, just me and her. Just a sweet kiss between two young people finally finding they love each other.

But all the while I held Nessie close against my chest so that her innocent eyes wouldn't see something that was even more terrible than busting me and Rose. A horrible sin. Against my own heart in the first place.

Bella's cold hand moved to the back of my head. She wanted to pull me closer and deepen the kiss.

But something snapped inside me. I finally found the strength to pull back.

I avoided to look at her face, knowing that I would cave in the blink of an eye.

I handed her the sleeping baby, got up and almost sprinted to the car. I got in but by the time the door was closed, Bella was already at my open window.

"Please Jake. You can't tell anyone."

"Who am I supposed to tell, Bella?"

"If Edward ever finds out that I kissed my best friend…"

"Enough of that." I really had had enough. "Listen to me carefully. I am not your best friend. I don't know what I am. But you insult me if you still, after this, believe we're just friends. People don't kiss their friends like that, Bella. You know I can't resist you. Why do you mess with me like that?"

"I don't know Jake. Please, don't be mad at me. I'm so sorry."

She was on the verge of sobbing and I almost believed that she was sorry, when I saw her lean closer again. Wanting to steal another kiss from my lips.

But this time I was stronger. I started the engine and simply said: "No."

The car started moving and she stepped back.

Right before I made the turn, I looked up at Rose's window one last time. And there she was, overlooking the scene, draped in a white sheet. With a look of shock on her face.

I pushed my foot down as hard as I could, and raced down the driveway, leaving the whole fucked up mess behind.

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**AN: I think most of you were right in thinking Bella was wrong. She still is...**


	13. Angel

**Chapter 12: Angel**

**RPOV**

I never really liked her all that much. And I never hid that either. But right now, I could just kill her and break that innocent face of hers.

I quickly pulled on some fresh clothes and jumped out of the open window. Bella was still sulking on the front porch and I gave her an evil glare, which doesn't impress her anymore, and started running after Jake.

As he was overspeeding I only caught up with him when he was already home, out of his car.

When he saw me I heard him mutter under his breath "_great_," and then he said out loud "not now, Rose. I swear, I'm not in the mood for games."

"Me neither, Jake. I just came to talk."

"Well I'm not in the mood for talking either. I'm not a girl and I won't feel better by spilling my guts. Go back home to your stud."

"Look, I'm sorry about that. But honestly, you were too busy to call for two days?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that too. Goodbye." He turned around to get inside and I heard him talking to his father.

By the time he entered his room, I was already sitting on his bed. He cursed and then added in an angry whisper "what the hell, Rose. Get out."

He had every right to send me away, but I needed to say what I wanted to say first.

"Two minutes," I said.

He sighed and sat down on the bed, as far away as possible, leaning against the head board.

"Time's ticking," he said with that look that used to piss me off so much.

I saw through it now. I saw that his eyes were shining and his fists clenched.

"What can I say? I'm a bitch. I admit that I did it to hurt you, but I honestly didn't think you'd care. Not after you ignored me."

"I was there, wasn't I? I was ready to talk. How is that ignoring?"

"I didn't want to be waiting for you."

"But you _were_ waiting."

"I know. Listen, I'm a little messed up right now."

He looked at me pointedly with raised eyebrows.

"Okay, so I'm a lot messed up."

He chuckled and then said in a less annoyed voice "that makes two of us."

"At least with me you know I try to be honest with you. While she…" I shook my head and tightened my jaws.

He pulled up his knees and wrapped his arms around them. He looked so young right now. I can't believe I had been so angry with him a few hours ago, just because he wanted to spend time with his friends.

"You know she's wrong, don't you?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah."

"Nobody should be treated like that. And the worse part is, she knows exactly what she does to you and she's too god damn selfish to take any responsibility."

"Don't call her selfish. She's still my friend. She just doesn't really know what she wants."

"Oh but she does, Jacob. She made her choice and she should stick to it. I can't believe you're still defending her."

"Me neither." His chin rested on his knees and I felt the overwhelming urge to protect him. Make him feel better. I know I promised myself not to let go around him anymore, but I just couldn't help it. He broke down all my defenses without even trying.

So I gave in. I crawled over to sit next to him, and wrapped my arms around his warm body.

"Rose, don't. I smell him on you."

He looked really sad saying this. Sick almost.

"So you like my smell better?" I tried to joke, without releasing him.

He just sighed and then leaned against me. Defeated.

I pulled him closer so his head was on my shoulder and I rubbed his back soothingly.

I think nobody ever held him like this before. A boy without a mother and a best friend who was using him. He always needed to be the protective one and nobody ever took care of him.

He didn't make a sound, but I felt his body jerk with quiet sobs which he tried to swallow back.

"Hush. I know it sucks. And I won't judge you for loving her still."

"I do love her still," he whispered, still swallowing hard and trying to keep control. "When will it stop?"

"I don't know," I asnwered honestly, and hoped with all my heart that it wouldn't end the way my story ended. I held on to the fact that I had had nobody to lean on, and that his story would be different because I was here. I wouldn't let him break.

When his shaking body calmed down, I let go of my grip and he leaned back against the headboard, eyes closed.

"I'm sorry I made your room smell like leeches," I said.

"I'm sorry I ruined your shirt," he replied, without opening his eyes.

I looked down and saw a wet spot on my shoulder from his tears. I looked at him again and raised my hand to wipe the remaining tears from his face.

I softly brushed his hair from his forehead and cambed my fingers through it. He purred softly so I kept doing that. Just gently cambing through his hair and appreciating his beautiful face.

I thought he might fall asleep if I kept this up, but then he suddenly said:

"What is it with us? Why can't we behave normally? Why are we making this so hard?"

"Because we're both pretty fucked up?" I guessed, and a smile came over his lips. It made me all tingly inside. How I wanted to kiss those lips and promise him everything would be alright.

But I didn't know that. I was only realizing I was nowhere near over my past, and he was nowhere near over Bella. We needed a friend, and we needed to forget about all the rest.

He startled then me by opening his brown eyes and looking directly in mine.

"Don't hurt me like that again, Rose. You're the only one I trust."

My heart broke at hearing this.

"I won't."

"Yeah you will. Just don't do it on purpose, okay?"

I nodded, ashamed of my stupid brilliant plan.

"Were you jealous?" I whispered, not knowing what answer I wanted to hear.

He looked at me for a long time with a serious expression on his face and then nodded.

"Me too. When you kissed her."

He sighed and closed his eyes again.

"She kissed me," he replied, two minutes too late.

"So now what?" I asked, fearing his answer.

"With us?" He looked confused.

"Are we friends?"

"I don't know. We could try to be, but I don't think it would work."

"Why not?"

"Because as your friend I should not be jealous when you fuck your husband."

I flinched at his directness.

"Do you want me to stop?"

His eyes snapped open again and he raised his eyebrows. "You would stop having sex with Emmett because I'm messed up?"

"I could try."

"Yeah right. I heard you. I don't think you could. And I don't think you should. You don't owe me anything."

"Maybe I just don't want you to get hurt anymore."

"Nah, I'll be fine. Just keep quiet when I'm around."

"To be honest, sometimes it feels wrong to me too. Especially now I'm having a hard time with my past. Like sex is a bad thing. But other times it feels exactly right, just because of that. You know. Because it's so very different with Emmett and it gets my mind off things... I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you this."

"It's okay. I get it. Even though you're not his soul mate, Emmett treats you a thousand times better than Royce ever did. And you're safe too because you're not in love with him."

"I never looked at it that way. Are you saying I love Emmett so much because I know he can't break my heart, even if he leaves?"

"I'm not saying that's why you love him. I'm sure you love him for who he is. I'm saying that's why he makes you feel good. But there's nothing wrong with that."

"You might be right," I said thoughtfully.

He snorted and then said with a smug smile "I'm always right."

I looked at that smile and then blurted "I want to kiss you so much right now."

He gasped and I could hear his heart spead up, but then he said "well you taste like Emmett and I taste like Bella, so why don't we take a rain check on that?"

"Then what about the plan to be friends?"

"Told you it wouldn't work."

"And what's the alternative?"

"Just two messed up people trying to be friends and slipping up now and then." He winked and I smiled.

I wouldn't bring her up again, but I understood why Bella loves him so much. Just an hour ago she leaves him broken hearted, and now he's grinning and joking again.

I was slowly feeling like he was indeed some sort of sunshine. Like maybe something pure good, desguised as a young werewolf.

Like an angel undercover.

* * *

**AN: Share your thoughts please...**


	14. Welcome

**AN: On this 2/13 (my favorite day of the year) I present you chapter 13 (my favorite number) which is my favorite chapter so far as well! I hope you'll like it just as much! **

* * *

**Chapter 13: Welcome**

**JPOV**

Weeks passed by since that day. And we were able to behave.

I stayed far away from Forks until the memory of Bella's kiss was faded and they all thought I avoided Rose anyway. I haven't heard from Bella and I missed her a lot, but didn't contact her either.

Rose didn't avoid me. In fact we kept meeting up. I didn't mind her scent in my room anymore. I was able to get passed the leech smell and distinguish her personal smell. It was like spring to me. Not just wood, or flowers, or grass. Just spring.

We didn't slip up in those weeks, not in a chemistry way or in a bitch-jerk way. I guess we both just needed the calm.

Whenever she hunted with Emmett, she stopped by my place afterwards and Emmett waited for her or hunted some more. He needs plenty more blood than she does. I told dad about our friendship, and ignored his suspicious looks until he was okay with it now.

We just sat on my bed and talked, sometimes about nothing in particular, sometimes about hopes and dreams. We didn't babysit together anymore. Afraid of slipping up right in front of the baby. Although I don't really believe our 'dates' were that much of a secret anymore, since Edward, Bella, Jasper and Emmett were aware. I'm sure Alice sees enough as well. That only leaves Carlisle and Esme, and quite frankly I think they would handle it just fine.

When Rose came to me today, I immediately noticed something was wrong.

Her dark eyes were wide, she hadn't hunted first, and she looked slightly panicked. I took her to my room and gave her a concerned look. And then she passed out. Just like that.

I picked her up and placed her on my bed, figuring this must be one of her flashbacks. I thought they were gone, now she talked about the horrors she'd been through.

As far as she told me, the flashbacks had been like realistic nightmares, so I expected her to kick and scream, but she did nothing. At all. She just lay there like a sleeping beauty.

And I waited, sitting on the edge of the bed and holding her hand.

When she finally opened her eyes, she was completely bewildered, not knowing where she was at first. She sat up, a little bit dizzy, ready to run, and I placed my hands on her cheeks, turning her gaze towards me and I told her it was all alright. It was over now.

She suddenly flung her arms around me and started sobbing earnestly. I know vampires can't make tears, but they sure can cry.

I did what she had done for me that day Bella kissed me. Just stroking her back, or combing through her hair.

As soon as she was calm again, we sat next to each other, like we had back then as well, leaning against the headboard.

"If you want to talk about it…" I trailed off.

"I can't."

"That bad, huh?"

"No, not bad at all."

"I don't understand. If it wasn't bad, then why were you so shaken up about it?"

"Just because of that. It's easier to believe he was evil. To right myself in torturing him to death."

"But he _was_ evil, Rose. All the bits and pieces you told me already showed me that."

"Real life isn't black and white, Jacob. Sometimes he was good too. I'm sure deep down…" She choked on her words and didn't finish her sentence.

"It's the other way around. Sometimes he acted nice. But deep down he was bad."

"I don't now. It's been so long. What if I only believe what I want to believe? Just to keep me sane."

"We all do that."

She looked so disheveled and out of it, I felt sorry for her. But I made sure not to show her that. She just hates to look weak. So I made my concerned comment sound like a sneer.

"You look like crap, Rose. Maybe you need to go hunting." Although I must say she really didn't look like crap at all.

"I've got a better idea, if you're seeking to distract me," she replied and gave me a funny look.

"What's that?"

"Make out with me," she deadpanned.

"Um… Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

I was sure it wasn't. But I didn't want to reject her like that.

"Why not?" She gave me an innocent look but then ruined it by winking.

"Because I don't want to take advantage of this situation, no matter how sexy you are." I smirked back at her and let my eyes rake over her white top that clung to her breast the way I wanted to cling to them.

"Come on, Jake, don't be such a puppy."

She used the magic word on me, like the tease she is. "Oh, you really shouldn't have said that."

Now she didn't look so hurt anymore, I had no problem with taking advantage of her. Whatsoever.

Before I knew it we lay down on the bed, arms and legs wrapped around each other, lips and tongues fighting.

How does she do that? Being broken one second and the next… a vamp.

She's messed up alright. And I didn't mind. At all.

We were kissing and biting, hands groping and some clothes were damaged along the way.

When my hands moved over her belly and dipped behind her belt, however, she stopped me.

"What is it?" I panted.

She looked away first but then made an effort to look me in the eye and said: "I don't want to be touched right now. I... I can't."

"That's okay. We'll just make out then?"

She answered by attacking my mouth again, and although I really wanted to be okay by not going any further, there was one body part disagreeing. Actually my whole body was. My hips were moving against hers, seeking the friction and trying to find some release.

She broke the kiss and whispered in my ear "let me help you with that" before she slid her hand inside my pants and grabbed me.

Her hands were warmed by my body, but I gasped anyway from her firm grip. She moved her hand back and forth expertly.

"I… I thought you said you… couldn't." I choked out.

"I never said anything about me touching you. Now sit back and relax. Did you ever get a blowjob?"

She got my mind reeling by what she said and by her hand that kept stroking me relentlessly.

I couldn't think of a possible answer until she stopped moving and repeated her question with a smirk.

"No. Of course not. Girls in LaPush are nowhere near as straightforward as this."

"Aw, poor you. Well then this will be your first."

"Are you serious?" The prospect made me grow even harder than I already was. I felt like I could come any moment now.

"Would I be that evil to promise you a blowjob and then not do it?"

"Yeah, you totally would."

She smiled and knew I was right. I tried not to get my hopes up.

"I'm not evil today. I just really really want to suck you dry right now." And as she said that, her hand gripped me tight and started jerking, making me come on the spot.

I closed my eyes and felt my cheeks redden, but she didn't laugh. Instead she leaned down over me and simply licked my stomach clean. I looked down and saw her big dark eyes staring up at me, as her pink tongue lapped at my skin, lower and lower. That sight made me instantly hard again. She cleaned me up nicely, carefully avoiding my cock, aside from a few light licks now and then, driving me insane before she even got started.

And then all of the sudden, she did start and I almost jumped up in the air. She slid her cold mouth all the way down and then moved back up, sucking hard. The groan that left my throat made her purr and I felt the vibrations all through my body.

Her head bobbed up and down and I tried to keep my eyes on her, but they kept rolling back in my head, until I finally gave up and rested my head on the pillow. Completely surrendered.

I've got no idea what she was doing down there, but I was approaching my second orgasm fast. My hands needed to hold onto something and I carefully laced my fingers through her hair. I know I wouldn't hurt her, but I didn't want to play rough anyway.

I tried to guide her rhythm but it was in vain. Every time I felt the tingle in my stomach and I wanted her to speed up, she slowed down, letting the feeling fade again. And whenever she became too much for me and I wanted her to slow, she sucked me even harder and faster. She drove me insane to the point of cursing and begging.

Man, she knew what she was doing.

I was so close. So god damn close.

My hips bucked up wildly, fucking her face ruthlessly, knowing she can handle it. I forgot all about not playing rough. And this time she let me.

Any second now she could stop me again, but I couldn't handle any more. So I gripped her head firmly and kept pushing my hips upward, feeling the back of her throat with every trust.

And still she kept on sucking. So deliciously hard.

Until I exploded into her mouth, moaning loudly.

I fell back, my hands releasing her, and my orgasm flowing through me.

But she didn't stop. She kept pumping me and licking me till I had nothing left, and with every stroke of her tongue over my sensitive head my body jerked and I groaned. Until I had to push her away, utterly spent.

She curled herself against me, head on my shoulder and covered us both with the blanket, while she waited for my heart and my breathing to become healthy again.

I expected her to be smug about her achievement, but she suddenly seemed vulnerable again. So I wound my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to me, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Are you sorry?" I whispered. Maybe I should have tried harder to stop her from doing this.

"No. Are you?"

I laughed out loud and she chuckled as well.

"I take that as a no," she said and shifted a little so she could look at me.

"That was… god I can't even find a word to describe."

"Amazing?"

"Oh way better than amazing. That was Rose-tastic."

She chuckled again. Shyly almost. She baffles me every time. How the hell does she do that? Going from sex goddess to shy girl again.

"Are you alright, Rose?"

"I'm perfect. I really enjoyed that. You're a nice victim, I'll give you that."

"Then why do you seem sad?"

"I'm trying not to fall for you."

"Oh. That's kinda hard right now, no? I mean, I'm falling for you big time today."

She smiled and hugged me closer.

"I wish I could stay."

"Yeah. Me too. Why don't you? Emmett would understand."

"It's too scary. If I don't leave tonight we'll never be able to do the friends thing again."

"And why is that bad?"

"Because we'll mess each other over. Wrong time wrong place kind of stuff."

"Hmm, maybe you're right. Well, anyway, thank you for today. That was honestly the best thing I ever felt."

She kissed me on my cheek and said softly "you're welcome."

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**AN: Jake has his way of comforting Rose . I hope you enjoyed that. ;-)**


	15. Irresistable

**Chapter 14: Irresistible**

**RPOV**

The powerful boost that this blowjob gave me was unbelievable and I wanted more.

But I didn't push him. After all, this was a boy who was a little damaged but still believed in love and all that crap. He might want to save himself for the one, I thought with a little sarcasm. I had no right to claim him.

But I must say that he didn't exactly fight me off that afternoon, so I wouldn't feel guilty about it either.

The next time I stopped by his place, three days later, we both felt a little awkward. We kept our distance and didn't really know what to say to each other.

So this is why friends don't have sex.

He finally decided to no longer ignore the elephant in the room.

"So are we going to talk about this, or what?"

I nervously smiled and looked at him pleadingly. I didn't really want to discuss what it all meant.

"I don't know."

"It was a one time deal, right?"

"Right." I nodded.

"And we're still okay?"

"I think so, yes."

"So why don't we act like we're okay?"

I shrugged.

"Look Rose, this is how I see it. We both needed something and we got it and now we've got some nice fantasy material in our memory and that's it."

"You've fantasized about it?"

He coughed but when I kept looking at him he shrugged and said "sure."

I smiled. "Me too."

His grin grew wide.

He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Jacob," I said, impatiently.

"I was going to say if you ever feel bad like that again, feel free to help yourself."

"How generous of you."

"Whatever therapy works for you Rose." He smiled innocently.

"You know I'll hold you to that."

"I sure hope so."

I stomped him in his side and he pretended to have some broken ribs, and then we just laughed the tension away.

In the back of my mind however, his words kept replaying themselves. He was not sorry it had happened, on the contrary. He was offering a repeat.

And that's why, after another vicious flashback that left me sobbing on the floor, I found myself driving towards LaPush with the sole intention of having sex with Jacob Black.

And I found fate on my side, as Billy was off fishing today.

Jake opened the door, wearing only shorts and his hair was in a sexy mess. I barely had the conscious of mind to slam the door shut behind me, as I pushed him into the wall and started kissing him.

At first he kissed me back, passionately, but the he pushed me away a little.

"Wow, wow, Rose, what's the matter?"

"Nothing you can't fix," I answered with a wink, stepping backwards and pulling him with me towards his room.

He followed me, but looked concerned and tried again.

"What did I miss? Where does this come from?"

"Oh Jacob, I really don't feel like talking right now." And I demonstrated that by pushing him back onto his bed, straddling him and covering his searing hot chest with kisses.

Damn how did I ever believe he smelled bad? Was it just my imagination and my memory of Royce that made me detest him back then? Because now, he just smelled and tasted fucking irresistible to me.

He was hardly awake at this early hour and so blown away by my attack that he just lay there and let me ravish him.

Somehow in between the kissing and groping I removed my shirt and was now unclasping my bra, as I watched his eyes grow. I thought they were wide with desire, but in fact he was growing scared. I noticed this as he didn't touch my naked chest and grabbed my wrists when I wanted to pull down his shorts.

"Rose, what are you… I… " he stuttered.

I paused and looked in his eyes.

"Don't you want me?"

He looked down at his erection straining in his shorts and then looked back up at me as if I had just asked the most stupid question in the world.

"Then what is it?"

He turned his face away from me, almost shy, and didn't answer.

"Are you insecure because you're a virgin?"

Again he gave me the duh-look, this time a little more annoyed at my bluntness.

"Oh Jake, don't worry about that. You don't have to do anything. Just let me have you and give in, like last time."

He swallowed and nodded, heart beating furiously with panic and desire.

Before he could change his mind, I swiftly removed his shorts and my jeans followed suit on the ground. I distracted his nerves by kissing him feverishly again, while I lowered myself over him.

I groaned at the warmth that was filling my body and he hissed at the cold. I would warm up quickly enough though, as I started moving up and down over him.

It wasn't too long before he lost his inhibition and took over my rhythm, grabbing my hips and pushing himself upwards. This student clearly didn't need much training.

I held on to his warm body, kissing him and letting him fill me. My hands were on his chest, in his hair, my mouth kissing his neck and his hot breath against my skin. He pushed all bad memories away again, that angel of mine.

And I watched in awe at his beautiful face, as he spilled his seed deep inside me.

I kept my eyes on him as he was slowly returning from his cloud, and I wondered what it was, that made him so irresistible to me. My fingertips traced his jaw and his neck, as if this was the first time I saw him. Maybe he really was growing more gorgeous every day. After all, he was only seventeen.

_I just raped a seventeen year old puppy_, I suddenly thought. And I grew worried a bit, because he still hadn't said anything.

"Jake?"

"Yeah."

What did I want to ask him? If he had been consenting? It was a little late for that. He felt my insecurity and wrapped his arms around me. Still not looking at me.

"Why are your eyes closed?" I asked.

"Because I want to burn that image of you on top of me to my memory."

"Did you like it?"

Now he opened his eyes and the duh-look appeared again. I wasn't taking that as an answer, I needed to hear him say it.

"Well?"

"Well, of course I liked it. You kinda have the proof inside you."

At this his expression changed and he turned his face away from mine.

"What?"

"Nothing." He removed his arm and started to sit up, reaching for his shorts on the ground.

I stopped him and turned his face towards mine.

"Tell me. Are you sorry?"

"Nope," he said, and he sounded oddly distant. It hurt to hear that indifferent tone after what we just did.

He struggled again to get up and I let him. He pulled on his shorts and mumbled something about peeing outside and off he went.

I can't think of anything he could have said to me, that would have hurt me more than him taking off like that. Completely humiliated I got dressed again. I knew he wasn't coming back, so I opened the window to leave and jumped out.

I hadn't expected to see him sitting on the ground against the back wall, and we just stared at each other.

"Don't go," he whispered. While he had been the one running off. The pained look on his face softened my mood, and I sat down next to him.

"You didn't scream," he explained, looking at the ground. I remembered the day me and Emmett had banged loud enough for him to hear and I understood.

"Look at me, Jacob. So you know I'm not lying," he turned to look sideways and I saw the emotion on his face. I would have to be careful now, because his heart was open for me to break.

"I had a flashback before I ran to you. I was never in the mood for screaming. I just needed you to make me forget, and you did. You were wonderful."

He made motion to discard my words, but I looked in his eyes intently to prove my sincerity.

"And you shouldn't compare yourself to Emmett. We've been sleeping together for sixty years. If me screaming is important to you, I'll teach you all you need to know, don't worry."

He sniffed once but then smiled slightly at the prospect of future encounters and me teaching him.

I placed my arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer to me.

"Was it different than what you expected?"

"Yeah. I don't know if had expected anything really. Fantasized yes. Expecting no."

"Well, if it means anything to you, I never expected you to last so long. I figured that maybe the cold…"

At this he chuckled.

"Not the cold, Rose. I just… let's just say that if you had turned up five minutes earlier… Well, you get the picture."

He was almost blushing and looked so adorable to me. I swear if I hadn't been falling for him before, I was falling now. Fast.

"I feel a little bad now for pushing you so much, being your first and all."

"Are you kidding me? I've been dying to get this first time over with."

"Okay, that's a relief."

"And for what's it's worth, I'm glad it was you."

He looked into my eyes and I melted even more.

"You wanna get back inside and cuddle some?"

He almost laughed out loud and said "I don't really feel like cuddling now. Let's race that fast car of yours."

"I'm liking you more every day, Jacob."

"Likewise Barbie, likewise," he grinned.

"Shut up, puppy," I threw back and ran off to the car, followed by a playful and cheerful wolf.

* * *

**AN: What do you think about this? Good or bad move?**


	16. Trick

**Chapter 15: Trick**

**JPOV**

She was bound to find out. One way or the other.

For the past couple of weeks, Rose had been stopping by whenever she felt like it, and as she said she would, she thought me all I needed to know to make her scream. But she didn't let me take control that often. I guess she enjoyed her Mrs Robinson role too much for that. And I just let her have me, submissively, like she wanted it. It helped her cope, and the flashbacks were retreating.

But Bella… she had to find out sooner or later.

One day, she was at my door when I returned from patrolling. I was so tired and looking forward to just crashing down in my bed that I almost passed her by.

"Are you ignoring me here too?" a cold voice said, and she startled me. I must be exhausted if I hadn't smelled her. Of course I had this one friend who was making sure I wasn't appalled by the leech smell anymore.

"Hi Bella, of course not, just tired." I stepped inside without inviting her in, I knew she would follow anyway. I went to the fridge, grabbed the can of orange juice and drank it all at once. This would have to do, to still my growling stomach now sleep was closing in on me.

As expected, she came in to the kitchen.

"I need to talk to you Jacob."

"Can't it wait till tomorrow? I'm dead beat, it wouldn't be much of a conversation anyway."

To prove my point I stepped into my room. I was a little annoyed that she just followed me in here as well. This is my private space. I pulled out boxers from my drawer, and looked at her.

"Please excuse me?"

But she crossed her arms and said stubbornly "I won't go until you talk to me."

"Fine," I said, and pulled down my shorts so that I was now naked in front of her. She couldn't blush anymore of course, but her eyes grew wide and she averted her face. I almost chuckled when I pulled on the boxers and got into bed.

"Goodnight Bella. Talk to you tomorrow."

I don't know why I keep trying, I have no chance at winning this. Not against her. Not when I watch her beautiful face filled with pain. I knew what caused it. She must have found out. She's got no reason to feel this way. No right.

Am I supposed to comfort her now?

I don't think so, but on the other hand, I can't really see her turn to anyone else. So reluctantly I sat up again and patted the bed for her to sit in front of me. I didn't want her too close either.

She sat down, took my hands in hers en stared into my face until I looked up.

"Why don't you trust me anymore?"

"What? I do trust you." I wanted to know how she found out, but I wouldn't ask, because then it would seem as if this was some big secret. And it wasn't. Not anymore. Rose was real open with Emmett about what was going on. Maybe the only one that didn't know till now was Bella.

"why didn't you tell me?"

"Look Bella, this is kinda private. You didn't tell me about your experiences with Edward either."

"There were no experiences to talk about."

"Yeah. That's how you got Nessie." I rolled my eyes and tried to free my hands, putting them both behind my head and leaning back.

I saw her eyes slowly move over my chest and I suddenly wished I had grabbed a shirt as well.

"I got Nessie after I was married. Married couples are expected to have sex." I don't freaking believe this. Why doesn't she admit what the real problem is?

"So this is about me and Rose living in sin? Jeezes Bella, how old are you?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Believe me, I know exactly what you mean. And I'm sorry you feel that way, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"You don't know how I feel," she whispered.

"I do. Deep down, you love me still. And you always wondered what it would be like if we would have ended up together. And now that you can't have me, you really don't want anyone else to have me either."

She was silent and I started to feel sorry for her again.

"You make me sound like a total bitch."

"You're not. I guess it's a natural reaction, but you have to ignore it Bella. You can't have it all. You can't expect me to wait because you might get hurt if I don't. I've got my needs too."

"Needs…" she repeated, and then something flashed behind her eyes. Something hopeful maybe.

She didn't have to know that Rose was more than fulfillment of needs. But I guess I misunderstood her emotions here, because suddenly her hands were on my knees and trailing upwards over my thighs.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

I sat up a little straighter, moving my butt backwards against the headboard, away from her. From those hands on their way up.

"I can take care of your needs too," she said, with a seductive look on her face. She never looked at me this way, and although it was very wrong, I had to admit that what she was suggesting was a major turn-on. And it showed.

She had crawled a little closer and I couldn't move further backwards. Her hands had reached the edge of my boxers now. Slowly fingertips were tracing the edge to my inner thighs.

"You… you can't, Bella, you're married."

"Oh aren't we a little hypocrite here, Jake? I believe Rose is married too. Six times to be precise."

I wanted to object some more, tell her that Emmett knew and didn't mind while Edward would be a complete different story. But both her hands had now slipped inside my boxers and found something that couldn't pretend not to be excited. I didn't have the strength to push her away, although I knew I should.

This wasn't the Bella I loved. But damn those hands gripping tightly…

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, breath stuttering. Both her hands were slowly pumping. And I had no defenses. Not against such an attack.

"Let me help you, I'm your friend, you don't need Rose for this."

Her words awoke me and reminded me of the true reason she was here. I managed to pull her hands away from me, and hid my disappointment at having to deny myself this.

My Bella finally wanting me.

I held both her wrists up so that she couldn't touch me anymore, but she was smart and sat up on her knees, crawling over me and rubbing herself against me. This time I tried to push her hips away, but instantly her arms flung around my back and her entire body was pressed up against mine.

"Bella, please, you can't do this to me."

"But you want it, I can feel it," she breathed against my neck.

"That's just my body, Bella. I don't want this," I lied. "You'll hurt me. Please. You'll break my heart again." Which was true.

She stopped grinding her hips and lifted her head to look me in the eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you Jacob. But you hurt me too."

"Don't say that. You made your choice. You should be glad that I move on. Don't you want me to be happy?"

My exhaustion, the look on her face and the magnitude of what she was willing to do to keep me on her leach overwhelmed me, and tears started to escape.

"Please Bella," I whispered.

"Are you rejecting me?"

"I am. I need you to let me go." I could hardly say the words and somewhere I heard this voice saying that I should give in. Give her everything she wanted, and take from her all I wanted. She was god damn offering it.

But somehow I found the strength do deny it.

And she saw it.

She got up from the bed and without another word, she was gone.

Now I could finally let myself pass out, but of course sleep wouldn't come. I tried to calm down, but her actions stung me too hard to just forget about it.

Until I finally decided to change things. I picked up my phone and called him up.

"Edward, get some privacy, we need to have a heart to heart here."

"What's the matter Jacob? You sound upset. I'm hunting. Alone." I figured this if Bella came to me.

"What are you thinking telling Bella all that stuff? Weren't you supposed to be discrete?"

"I have my reasons," he simply answered.

"We're talking about my privacy, so it would have been fair to talk to me first. Besides, what reasons can you have to hurt her?"

"Hurt her? I'm helping her."

"Well, she just came by and she didn't seem helped. At all."

"What did she say?"

"None of your business. Unlike some, I'm trustworthy."

"Look, I've been seeing things in Rose's mind about Bella too. One of those things involves you Jake, so don't play the innocent victim here. And I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but I sure don't like it. I just want Bella to realize you can't be hers. Because you don't seem to let her know that."

"For your information, I try to let her know that everyday. I can't help it if she jumps my bones every chance she gets"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. This whole thing just got out of hand, Edward. We need to tell her about the imprint. I don't think things will fade naturally between us. And believe it or not, I want them to."

"What did you say about her jumping you?"

"That was figuratively speaking. Did you hear anything I said?"

"We can't turn back now, Jake. You knew you were in for the long ride. Telling her now would hurt her even more."

"What if her feelings are never going to fade in this vampire state? How am I supposed to live with that?"

"All I want is for her to be happy. If she would have told me once that she would have been happier with you, I would have let her go."

"Do you need to rub that in?"

"I just want you to know I'm fighting unfair because I know she belongs with me."

"Sure sure."

"Do you disagree then?"

"I don't know. I just had enough of the mixed signals here. She's got this power over me and she uses it well. And I don't like it."

"If you truly had enough, she wouldn't have that power."

"Yeah, aren't we all waiting for that to happen."

We were both silent for a while.

"Do you really want to tell her about the imprint?"

"Maybe. Not today." I've hurt her enough I think. "But, yeah, I want out. This whole deal was to keep Bella happy, but she isn't."

"Give her time to get used to the idea of you and Rose."

"I'm not with Rose."

"You know what I mean. Just give her time."

"Alright."

* * *

**AN: Do you think Jake should tell Bella? Will it help?**


	17. Back Off

**Chapter 16: Back off**

**RPOV**

He called me up when I was showering. Vampires don't need to shower often as we never break a sweat, but we do get dirty sometimes. Normally I let my phone ring, but lately I have it close to me at all times, and I check caller ID, hoping it's him.

And it was, so I shut down the water and picked up.

"Hi Jake."

"Can you meet me outside?"

"What? Where outside?"

"I'm on the driveway in three minutes. Can you be there?"

"I'll be there. What happened?"

"I'll tell you then," he said.

I was instantly worried, he doesn't easily drive over here anymore. Not after Bella kissed him, and now it was the middle of the night, almost morning even. I was dried up and dressed in record time, and by the time he got onto the driveway, I was already waiting for him.

I could tell, even from a distance, that his eyes were swollen.

He came to a brusque stop and swung open the passenger's door.

By the time I got into the car however, Bella was at his side, pulling open the door. Jake cares too much for his car to try to stop her, but I heard him mutter "fuck" and I understood what had upset him so much. Or rather who.

"Bella, please, don't do this," he pleaded.

"No, Jake, you don't do this. Are you running off fucking her just to get back at me?"

I have never seen sweet Bella like this. Like a warrior on crusade.

I could see that Jake was on the verge of breaking down again, and I didn't have to listen to her disrespectful words towards me.

"Back off, Bella," I said, warningly.

She bent down further to look passed Jake into my eyes and said in a soft but menacing voice "you stay out of it, this is between us."

"Jake is picking me up, so you don't tell me to stay out, it's clear who's not welcome here."

"I won't fight for him, Rosalie. We all know he really loves me, and you're just around for his needs, at least that's what he told me today."

I glanced sideways at Jake who looked like he wanted to disappear.

"Is that true?" I asked him. "Would you rather me bud out and go back inside?"

I know I shouldn't be putting him to the choice. Even if he'd rather be with me, he wouldn't be able to deny her. He never has.

He looked from me to Bella and she waited with a smug expression on her face. An expression I was dying to wipe off, only I didn't. For him. The poor boy loved her.

And maybe she wasn't so bad, deep down, but what she did to him was very bad. He was right, she wasn't abusing him physically, but emotionally she was. Over and over again.

And then he surprised me, by taking my hand and slowly turning towards Bella.

"Right now, Rose is a better friend than you are, Bella. I mean, I get that you're hurt. And I might have made the same mistakes back when I tried to win you. But you have no right to fight for me. You come to my room and almost rape me, and then you have the nerve to show up and insult my friend?"

He shook his head in disbelief and wanted to continue, but the things he said started to register in my head.

"She tried to _rape_ you?"

"I did not. You were so hard, you were dying for me to…"

"Shut up," he interjected, softly but firmly, and we both were stunned for a second.

He turned towards me and with some effort he said:

"She wanted to meet my needs so that I wouldn't come to you anymore. I swear I told her to stop."

My anger towards her rose and I got out of the car, pulling her away from Jake wit force. I placed myself between her and him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Bella?"

She glared at me. "I just wanted to talk to him. And things got a little heated up."

I heard Jake snort in the background.

"Listen to me good, Bella. I'll tell you this, because he's too good of a person to do so himself, but he's had enough of your dirty little games. If you care about him at all, you'll leave him alone. Can't you see what you're doing to him?"

"He was fine until you tried to get him."

"No he wasn't."

"And I suppose you'll make him all better again? You can't have him Rose, he's not yours."

"Maybe not, but he certainly isn't yours either."

"You can try all you want, but he'll never leave me because he's bound to Nessie."

That triumphing expression of hers irritated me to no end and before I knew it my hand lashed out and I slapped her across the cheek. Hard.

She gasped and staggered backwards, but instead of running off, she quickly recovered and stepped over to me with a death glare.

"Rose," Jake said behind me in a quiet voice, and I looked around, already knowing what he was about to say.

He nodded and said "go ahead, tell her."

I turned back to Bella and tried not to look too smug as I spat at her "He's _not_ bound to Nessie. He faked the imprint because you needed him around. But what you're doing right now is not fair. So we're done pretending."

"What? Jake, is this true?" She walked around me towards him again.

He looked intently at the steering wheel and nodded.

She took a couple of steps backwards as if she had been punched.

"You lied to me all this time? And pretended?"

Jake immediately felt sorry for her again and said:

"Of course not. I love Nessie. I just haven't imprinted on her."

I could tell where this was going, by the hurt look he gave her, so I got into the car again and told him to drive.

She saw the opening as well and stepped forward again "So you still love me?"

Jake didn't start the car, so I turned the key for him, while he looked at Bella and answered "Of course I still love you. I always have."

"Drive Jake. NOW!" I ordered.

And to my surprise he obeyed. The car raced off the driveway, into the night, leaving Bella standing on the driveway.

He drove straight to his cliff, a place where he hasn't taken me yet. We didn't speak a word and after a few minutes his tears stopped flowing too.

When he parked, he pulled down the driver's mirror and huffed when he saw his face.

"Haven't slept in 40 hours, so that's probably why…"

I didn't let him finish his excuse. After all that happened today, he was entitled to some tears. I just put my hand on his arm and said "it's alright" before I stepped out of the car and sat down at the edge of the cliff.

He paced a couple of minutes behind me and then sat down as well. Close enough so our arms were touching. I got the hint and wrapped my arm around him. His arm snaked around my waist and we sat like that, watching the sun come up.

I was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry I meddled. I know it's your business, but I just couldn't watch her do this."

"Don't worry. I'm thankful you did." He shrugged. "It's nice to have someone sticking up for me."

"What do you think will happen now, with the secret out?"

"I guess no more babysitting for me."

"I'll bring Nessie by when I'm on duty."

"Yeah, like you'll still get her after today."

"All I did was tell Bella the truth. She knows that. She can't stay mad for that."

"Bella is pretty good at denying the truth. And she is stubborn enough to stay mad, so don't count on it."

"Then Edward will talk some sense into her."

"Edward…" he sighed. "All he can do is give her whatever she wants. He'll feel guilty forever for abandoning her."

"He'll give Nessie everything she wants too. The kid will ask for us. You'll see."

"I hope so," he said, with a smile. He knew Nessie would.

"I have an idea that might cheer you up," I said grinning. And I pushed him onto his back, straddling him and kissing his neck. "Ever had sex on the edge of a cliff?"

"Rose please," he said, and I stopped. The look on his face made me back off again. I was instantly mad at myself for being as pushy as Bella was. How insensitive of me.

"I never thought I was ever going to say this," he said, shaking his head, "but I've got too much girls jumping me."

I chuckled and he pulled me next to him again, to sit arm in arm as we had been before.

He added then in a softer voice: "I'm sorry Rose. I know you try to help, but I don't work that way. I'm hurt and I can't make love right now."

"Is that what you think we are doing? Making love?"

He just shrugged and then we were silent again, staring out over the water.

* * *

**AN: So... the secret's out! What do you think will happen now?**


	18. Power

**Chapter 17: Power**

**JPOV**

~*~  
_I hate the world today  
You're so good to me I know but I can't change  
tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe  
I'm an angel underneath  
innocent and sweet  
_~*~

I wouldn't go as far as saying I didn't want it.

Boy did I want it. Want her.

All she had to do was show up with _that_ look in her eyes, and I was hard for her. I really don't get how she can have such effect on me, and even less how I hated her at first. Even when she's in a bitchy mood, like now, I think she's hot as hell.

She hops on the kitchen counter and grabs my belt loops to pull me closer. They break under her force.

"Hey, watch it," I say annoyed. Dammit. The amount of clothes that she ruined this month is unbelievable.

"Shut up and fuck me," she said as she ripped the jeans entirely off of me.

This should annoy me even more, I liked that pair, but I couldn't hide that she was such a turn-on.

I started kissing her neck, but didn't press myself up against her, denying her the friction she wanted.

I wanted it too, but I guess I was in a jerk mood as well.

She had already removed all clothing that separated us, so she knew I could be inside her with one push. But my hands were on the counter keeping my hips inches away from hers, despite her heels that were digging into my but to pull me closer.

"Come _on_," she growled and I chuckled as I bit down her neck. Vampires are not impermeable for wolves, so I was careful not to leave a mark, at least not on her neck. My Rose cares very much for her impeccable appearance and she wouldn't appreciate a love bite.

She's not appreciating my teasing now either and I must say it's getting more difficult for me as well, now my hips are almost dying to push forward.

"Dammit Jacob," she exclaimed, and in the flash of second, she was off the counter and her legs wrapped tight around me. Me buried deep inside her.

I released a growl and I bit down on her shoulder as I staggered backwards, startled by her attack and the sudden pleasure.

She whispered in my ear "now be a good dog, and fuck me."

Game over, no more teasing.

I carried her to my room, as Billy had complained enough about broken furniture in the house. My room was the only place I was allowed to trash.

I slammed the door shut and pressed her against it, urged on by her heels that were still digging into my butt.

I pressed her hips down, hitting her in an angle that would have her screaming in no time.

Again and again, faster and harder, until suddenly the door cracked and we almost fell into the hallway.

I slipped out of her, and this gave her the opportunity to reverse the roles and gain control again. As always.

She pushed me onto the bed, and straddled me, rode me. Until she almost had me passing out underneath her.

After I came, she lay down on my chest and caressed my shoulders and arms, mesmerizing how warm I am.

A vulnerable girl again. The bitchy mood fucked right out of her.

"Tell me Jacob, why are you playing more and more hard to get?" She drawled.

"I'm not playing hard to get. You get me every time."

"It was easier at first." She didn't look at me, so I have the feeling this could become a sore topic and the bitchy mood was still lurking underneath.

That's why I didn't tell the truth.

"I'm just tired, patrolling."

"You could just say no, you know."

"Could I? I have this feeling that would turn you on even more."

I combed my fingers through her long hair. She told me a week ago that I was the only one allowed to mess up her hair, so I gladly did whenever I could.

"So now I'm forcing you?"

"What? No Rose, of course not. You couldn't, you're just a girl," I tried to joke. But she didn't laugh or punch me.

"I feel like I'm using you sometimes, Jacob."

"Well, we're using each other, right. We talked about this. Whatever makes us feel better."

"Do you feel better now?"

"Compared to what?"

"Before I stopped by."

"Of course. You know how you make me feel."

"Physically. But I mean emotionally."

"Jeez Rose, are you turning emo on me now?"

"Just answer Jake." The mood was definitely rising again. Maybe we should go for seconds, just to be sure.

"Emotionally? I don't know. I'm a dude. I'm fine. I guess…"

"I don't think you are. You haven't spoken to Bella, or about Bella in weeks and I can see in your eyes that you're not fine."

I hadn't seen that one coming. I thought this was going to be about her. I didn't want to talk about me.

"Rose please, not now."

But she continued anyway. "And I try to help you, distract you, but I don't think it's working."

"We're different people Rose, what helps you is not what helps me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that you're using sex as therapy, and for me sex is distraction, but not exactly therapy."

"For me it's distraction too."

"No, it's more than that. I can tell. You need it."

"Oh and you don't need it?"

"I do. Physically. I mean that you need it emotionally."

"And how do you figure that, mister smartass?"

"Hey Rose, be nice okay. You asked me what I meant."

I could tell that she tried to relax. Her hand that had stopped moving when the topic became sensitive started roaming over my chest again and I pulled her a little closer, knowing how she feels at her weakest during bitchy time.

"Sorry. Why do you think I need sex emotionally?"

"You need control. It's like the most important thing to be in control of everything. How you look, how you act, how you feel. And with the flashbacks, you've got no power over your feelings. And you compensate by overpowering me. Which for the record I don't mind."

She was silent for a long time while her hand kept caressing me. I was slowly drifting off to sleep when she finally spoke again.

"You really think what we share is about me having power over you?"

I tried to look for a careful answer but I had no idea what would hurt her, so I went for the truth this time.

"On some level yes. Especially the sexual level."

"But you were on top too, just now." She pointed at the splintered door.

"Sometimes you let me, not for long though. And never till the end. You never really give in to me. Like I give in to you. But like I said, that's okay. Whatever makes you feel better."

"I don't want to use you for my own benefit."

"I'm not complaining. I like giving in to you. When you're in control, you're the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

"Still it's wrong. To use a friend as booty call therapy. It will affect the friendship. And you must feel it too. That's why you're harder to get, isn't it?"

"Maybe."

"Oh Jacob, why didn't you tell me?" She lifted herself slightly to look at my face.

"I want to be there for you."

"You were there for me before we started fucking too. I think we should stop."

"What? No Rose, don't make me regret being honest."

"Look, I want us to be friends. Equals. And I want to make you feel better after what Bella did. And all I'm doing is, like you said, overpowering you. And I'll miss it too. But right now, you're my only true friend, the only one who knows me, and I won't risk it."

"Damn," I muttered, but I knew she was right. I had been having bad feelings about this. About being the sex slave, no matter how mind blowing she is.

And it wasn't really helping her either. She could control me all she wants, the flashbacks are still there. And she's still as damaged by Royce as she ever was. Women use sex as a power weapon, Bella had tried the same, and it would distort our friendship.

She was my only true friend as well. I get along great with the guys in the pack, and obviously they know all my secrets, but no one gets me the way she does.

"So I guess this is the last door I have to fix," I stated.

"Yes, and I guess this is our last kiss," she answered before she leaned over me and kissed me deeply.

I think neither of us was ready to have a last kiss, as we didn't break apart for the longest time.

Licking, touching, caressing. Her body warmed by my weight on top of her.

"We need to have sex a last time too," I attempted, and before I knew it, I was flipped on my back again, and she was straddling me, whispering "I thought you'd never ask."

And as I saw the desperate glint in her eyes, trying to reign over her emotions and mine, I knew we had made the right decision.

* * *

**AN: Do you think Jake is right? Is Rose trying to overpower him to have something to control? Will they be able to be just friends?**


	19. Bubbles

**Chapter 18: Bubbles**

**RPOV**

"So now what?" I asked him, as we both sat on the edge of his cliff, arms touching and feet dangling.

He chuckled. "Seriously? You can't spend time with someone without having sex with them?"

"I don't really see the point," I teased him.

"You'll just gonna have to resist me," he joked back.

"No problem, puppy. You think I'm dying inside, now we're not sleeping anymore?"

"Not really, you've got Emmett," he responded, suddenly serious again, and then quickly changed the subject "want to go play some video games at my place?"

"Do I look like a teenage dude to you?"

"Well I'm not taking you shopping, or whatever it is you Barbies do."

"I got an idea!" I exclaimed, "let's jump and swim."

He saw the enthusiasm in my eyes and looked down to the crashing waves, approving my plan.

I got up and started taking off my clothes.

"Hey stop, keep those on, they won't drag you down."

"No way I'm ruining these. You got any idea how expensive they are?"

Maybe I stripped down to my underwear a little slower than I could have. And maybe only my jewels and shoes were expensive. I was definitely enjoying his hungry eyes on my body.

And he was rude enough not to hide his gaze, nor the effect my strip had on him.

"Does my being half naked bother you?" I asked.

He tried to snort but it came out wrong.

I smirked at him as I slowly strolled closer "Come on, you horndog, the cold water will do you good." And I grabbed his hand and jumped off the cliff.

I'm not human so no adrenaline was pumped through my veins, but vampires like their kicks, and this sure was fun. In fact it was so much fun that I climbed straight up the rock wall again to jump off again. And again.

All the while Jake was swimming, but I was sure his eyes never left my body.

I don't know why I like to tease him so much, since seeing his straining erection makes me damn frustrated as well.

Jake says it's my way to still use some of my power. But he has that same power over me, and he knows it.

For instance now, when he's playing 'throw the chick in the water' with me. He doesn't just _grab_ me by the waist, he grazes me, sliding his warm hands over my wet skin before gripping me tightly. And right before he pulls me above the water and throws me away, he presses his hips against mine, letting me know that the cold water is _not_ helping him.

So maybe the swimming wasn't such a safe idea after all, but I played along anyway.

We played tag, but it wasn't really fair because the hunted wanted to be caught so there wasn't much running or swimming going on.

Now he was 'it' and I pulled a little trick on him, diving in deep, not needing any air. But he was fast and strong, and able to pull me up without a problem, coughing only a little water when we reached the surface. Mostly laughing.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and we tried to keep our heads above water, connected like that. No longer playing.

"Rose," he groaned, and I felt his hard on through our wet clothes. I pulled him even closer to me with my feet, moving my hips a little back and forth.

I watched his beautiful face as he closed his eyes, and I felt his hands on my hips. Gripping me, holding me there.

Now his arms weren't keeping him up anymore, he started to sink, but instead of letting go, his arms snaked around my lower back, pushing my lower body against his hot skin.

I don't think I ever wanted to be pounded harder than by this man. This man I couldn't have.

But I didn't want him to notice how crazy I was for him, so I playfully pushed him under water, and freed from his grip I raced to the shore.

I got out of the water and waved for him to follow me, knowing all too well that his present condition didn't allow him to leave the water just now.

He shook his head, wet hair dripping, while flipping me off, but he smiled anyway.

And the feeling that sight gave me in my stomach had nothing to do with friendship or desire.

I closed my eyes, and turned around, shouting that I was going to get my clothes. But that smile of his was etched into my mind. As were the bubbles in my belly.

I reached my clothes but didn't pull them on right away. I wasn't ready to face him again, so I laid down in the grass to dry, as we didn't bring any towels, and I just watched the sky.

After about fifteen minutes, I heard him nearing, but I stayed on my back, pretending I didn't notice.

He said nothing and simply laid down next to me, still dripping water.

I was now dry enough to pull on my clothes and suddenly my exposed skin was uncomfortable to me. So I got dressed and took my previous position.

Again our arms were touching, but the atmosphere wasn't relaxed anymore. It was tense, at least I was.

"Sorry about the teasing," he said without opening his eyes. Misunderstanding my hesitation.

"We're both guilty I guess."

"Yeah." A small smile played over his lips.

Why was I watching his lips? I stared up at the sky again.

His heartbeat slowed down and his breathing was evening out so I thought that he was falling asleep, and I was going to let him.

Not because I wanted to watch him for hours in a row. I think.

Suddenly he said "Are you okay?"

"Of course," I answered immediately.

"No bullshitting Rose," he said, and turned on his side, resting on his elbow "are you really okay?"

I thought for a few seconds as for how to answer.

"I'm getting there."

"You seem as if something's bothering you."

The only thing bothering me right now is how that broad chest makes me want to crawl closer to him and never let go. And how I wish to hear sweet words from those perfect lips.

Sweet words for christ sakes. I'm turning into a freaking _girl_.

"How are you? Are you feeling better?" I changed the subject.

"Apart from how god damn horny you make me?" he asked me, with a wink.

"Apart from that, yes," I laughed. Almost blushing.

"I miss her. Still. But it's getting better. Back then, she was this girl that needed to be saved, who needed me, and I fell for her. Now, maybe she still needs to be saved, but not by me. She's changed. So I tell myself that the girl I miss, is not Bella Cullen. And not because she's turned, I'm past that leech hating thing."

"You are, huh?"

"Yeah I am," he smirked.

"So you miss the friend she used to be and the wife she could have become. But not her."

"Something like that," he nodded.

And he lay down on his back again, thinking.

Somehow our pinkies found each other, and I can't tell who made the first move, but both little fingers linked in each other as we stared up the sky.

That little gesture was more intimate than all the hot sex we had in the past month. And this time his closeness didn't scare me.

If he were to sit up now, and look me in the eye, knowing how I felt, I would run.

But he did nothing of the sort. We just stayed there, perfectly still, pinkies intertwined.

* * *

**AN: Aren't they the cutest? ;-)**


	20. Enough

**Chapter 19: Enough**

**JPOV**

We were getting better and worse at this. At not having sex.

We were able to spend hours in a row without any teasing or sexual remarks. _But_ the few times we slipped however, the teasing got more dangerous. At some points so dangerous my frustrations were driving me insane.

Other things were driving me insane as well.

Now we talked more and just hung out, I got to know her better and the way she can switch moods in the blink of an eye confounded me every time.

And hurt me sometimes too. Because whenever I thought we were doing good, just having fun, she closes down on me and turns shallow again. It made me mad, but there wasn't really anything I could do about it.

I once told her how I was taken aback sometimes by her behavior, and she simply answered "you wouldn't want me any other way," and ran off, laughing out loud. Like the crazy vamp she is.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked now.

I open my eyes and turn sideways.

"Why are you watching me, you creep!"

Ever since that day we went swimming, we came back here almost daily. Laying on the grass in front of the cliff. Just stealing some time and staring at the clouds. It calmed us down.

On days we couldn't meet, we both grew anxious, to the dislike of our family who all noticed and made fun of us. Sitting-in-a-tree kind of fun.

We know what it looked like for them. That we were actually a couple in denial. But we talked about this, and it was just the fact that we weren't, that made us feel comfortable.

"You know I watch you every night in your sleep," she said with a hoarse voice, trying to sound creepy but only sounding sexy to me.

"You wish," I smirked.

"Yeah, I wish," she sighed.

I opened my eyes and saw her looking at my face. Moments like these - where she was surprisingly honest - confused me too.

First because I knew she could turn bitchy any moment now.

And second because I had no idea what she meant by it. She had made it clear to me, on several occasions, that she thought I was beautiful. But I don't know if that's because I still look like Royce to her. I don't want to look like him. I want her to forget all about him and just see me.

"Come here," I said, and she nestled herself against my chest while I stroked her hair.

This could either push down the mood swing or provoke it. Either way, I had no control over them, so I just followed my instincts with her. Not all of my instincts of course.

I felt her breathing in my scent and almost chuckled, remembering her scrunched up face whenever I came around before.

After a while she pushed herself away again to stare up at the sky. I held my breath for what was to come, but I felt her hand searching mine on the grass and I gratefully took it. No closing off. Yet.

We lay like this for a long time, fingertips softly caressing. And I _know_ what it looks like. But I don't care.

Back in the days, when me and Bella were always hugging and walking hand in hand, it was different. There was always this imbalance in feelings we were both aware of.

Now with Rose, we are on the same page. And it isn't always pretty, but we're not hurting each other. At least not like Bella was hurting me by running back into _his_ arms without questioning how he could leave her so long.

I hope I never fall so hard for anybody that I lose my grasp of reality, like she had.

Oh shit. That is _exactly_ what I did with Bella. Faking an imprint is not exactly a sign of sanity.

Maybe I should cut Bella some slack. Maybe falling in love is just that, losing reality. And who knows. Maybe I'll even forgive her. Not for what she did now, but for what she did back then.

"You look like you're hurting yourself in there," Rose said, squeezing my hand a little.

"Hey freak, are you watching me again? " I threw back, squeezing as well.

"Are you thinking about her?"

"Yeah."

"And how's that working?"

"Not about her now. About her before. I'm trying to understand."

"Ever understanding Jacob."

"I'm a little bit more forgiving than you are, Rose. So you can't blame me for trying."

"Well I have my reasons to be unforgiving," she replied in a colder voice.

Oh ow. There it was. Her fingers loosening, ready to run.

"I didn't mean anything bad by it. I just meant towards Bella. Promise."

I closed my fingers tighter around hers, not ready to let her run.

She sighed and gave in "I know you do. I'm glad you're able to. It's better for you."

"How are you doing? With the flashbacks?"

"They're still there, but nothing I can't handle. There's only so much memories and I think I've seen them all now. They don't take me by surprise anymore. I just need to forgive myself someday, I guess. And I don't need to run from the house anymore, because I told Emmett."

"About the flashbacks or about everything?"

"Not everything. But some things. And it's nice that he knows. I should have told him a long time ago. But you know how I get."

"Yeah." I was silent at this. It's good that she was able to confide in her husband, and I had the feeling that I had a role in that too, but somehow it stung me that I was no longer the bearer of her secrets and that she didn't need me anymore to run to in times of distress.

She didn't notice and continued.

"It's a bit weird now. He needs to get used to it I guess."

"What is weird?"

"Sex with Emmett."

I closed my eyes and willed my heart to steady. "How's that?"

"Now he knows I've been raped so much, he treats me like I'm fragile or something. And it's not really like him to have careful sex. He's holding back. I hope he'll grow out of it because I like him better when he's wild."

Mixed emotions flooded through me. Images of Rose having wild sex made me hot, but the leading actor in those images made me sick with jealousy.

"And it's too bad," she continued, "because now I spend all my time with this young wolf who I want like crazy but can't have, and I just _really_ need to be fucked hard."

The last words were whispered in my ear, letting me know that in her fantasy I was the leading actor and I forgot all about jealousy.

I groaned and she chuckled, rolling on her side to give me a slow once over. Her eyes lingered on my pants, undoubtedly noticing the effect of her insinuation.

I felt her nails softly trailing down over my chest and over my abs and I arched my back, willing her hand to go further down.

At the waistband of my shorts she stopped. I pulled in my stomach, creating an opening for her hand to slip in and her fingertips took the hint and moved just underneath the waistband, from one side to the other. Way too slow.

She knows that wolves always go commando, so it was only a matter of seconds till those fingertips would brush against me.

And there it was. I held my breath as her cold fingertip slid over my wet and sensitive skin. Deliciously soft.

And then she pulled back her hand and whispered in my ear "such a shame I can't feel that inside of me."

I growled and rolled over in one movement, pinning her beneath me.

"Dammit Rose, you're fucking evil."

I pushed my cock down against her and started kissing her.

At first she kissed me back and again her hand was in my pants, giving me a few hard strokes, before she pushed me sideways again.

"We can't."

I simply rolled back and this time held her hands next to her head, leaning down to keep her wrists in place and I looked her in the eyes saying in a low voice:

"I've had enough of this teasing. I think you want it just as much as me and now you're using the no-more-sex-rule to have power over me again."

She gasped, but I continued, almost growling.

"I've _had_ it with this game. You want to be fucked hard and you're gonna get it. And this time, you _will_ give in."

Her hips pushed upwards and I instinctively bucked against her and she said "I don't think so. You'll be the one giving in, _puppy_."

The next second our clothes were shredded and we were kissing, biting and bucking wildly.

Her hand moved towards my dick again, but I pushed it away. I meant it. This time I would be in control.

I grabbed her ankles and placed them on my shoulders, as I leaned down to look into her eyes. She was so horny and I could smell that she was ready for me, so without further ado, I pushed my hips down against her, hard.

My strong arms kept her legs in place but I don't think she was going anywhere, as I had her screaming and whimpering underneath me.

My god, she _did_ need to be fucked hard.

I was entirely focused on her, didn't want to let go. And to my surprise – after all it had been a while – I managed to keep control.

After some time - I expected it - she put her feet down and pulled herself up, ready to push me onto my back and take over.

But I would have none of it.

Instead I quickly pulled back and flipped her over so that she was now on her stomach and I put my full weight on her back, pushing in again forcefully.

She wanted to protest at first, but as I kept hitting _that_ spot inside, her struggling became squirming, and her butt was pushed up, urging me on to hit her deeper. And harder.

With one hand I pulled her hair gently, turning her face to kiss her passionately, as my hips kept hitting her butt over and over again.

The kisses broke because she was screaming too much and I bit down on her shoulder, trying to hold back my release as long as possible.

Her movements started to change, became more irregular, and her hands were digging into the forest ground.

In between her incoherent whimpers she whispered "God yes, Jacob, right there. Harder, come on. I'm coming, right there."

And then she suddenly screamed while her body tightened and shuddered. As I had promised her, this time I had control and she surrendered.

I finished with a few last thrusts, almost passing out after that.

Next thing I remember I'm panting against her neck, wet with my sweat.

I saw a couple of marks I left there, but I didn't care about her annoyance those would cause.

I was still buried inside, but felt myself slowly slipping back.

She wasn't panting but lay still underneath me with her eyes closed. I softly stroked the hair out of her face and combed my fingers through it, the way I know she likes.

I felt her shudder underneath me again.

As I wondered whether this was some kind of aftershock I leaned closer to kiss her. And that's when I noticed what the shudders were.

"Shit Rose, are you crying?"

* * *

**AN: She had it coming, right? Why do you think she's crying?**


	21. Careful

**Chapter 20: Careful**

**RPOV**

~*~  
Yesterday I cried  
You must have been relieved to see the softer side  
I can understand how you'd be so confused  
I don't envy you  
I'm a little bit of everything  
all rolled into one  
~*~

As soon as he realized I was sobbing, he quickly turned me around and held me close against his warm chest, where his heart still thumped furiously, and he whispered in my hair:

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Rose."

"It's okay," I managed to choke.

"No, it's not. I should have known. I should have known this would hurt you."

I could almost hear his heart breaking over what he thought he did to me.

I pulled back a little and pressed my forehead against his, forcing him to look me in the eye and said:

"You didn't hurt me. Trust me."

"But then why are you crying?" his eyes looked agonized.

"I don't know. But what you just did… it was wonderful. Everything about you is wonderful. And that scares me."

"I know it scares you. But you usually run. Not break down. So I don't think that's it."

"What can I say Jake? I really don't know why."

"Okay," he said, and tucked my head against his neck while he stroked my hair and my back. His warm skin and steadying breath calmed me down until I felt positively drowsy. Still shaken about what just happened. It wasn't just sex. It was something major. Like the earth and sky moving.

Like realizing something I wasn't ready for.

"Are you better?" he asked me, now my body wasn't shuddering with sobs anymore.

"Hmm, I'm good," I smiled lazily. "I need to tease you some more if that's how you react."

"Yeah well, you always had your way to bring out the worst in me."

"The worst? Man, that was like the best."

I couldn't see his smile but he pulled me a little tighter against him. How can I be so terrified and feel so safe at the same time?

"I've been dying to make you come," he said proudly, "but you never let me."

"To me it's more important that you enjoy."

"But that's not fair."

"I'm okay with that."

"I mean not fair on me. This is like the best feeling ever. And I want more."

"Do I need to be glad or scared now?"

He didn't answer and as I looked at him, he seemed deep into thought.

"What are you thinking?"

"With Emmett you come over and over again. And you don't cry."

Crap. I knew that my revenge plan would end up biting me in the ass.

"It's different with him."

He snorted and loosened his grip on me.

"I mean that in a good way," I quickly added, but I knew he wouldn't be able to understand.

"Sure sure."

"Listen, let me try to explain."

"Nah, no need to. Wanna go swimming?"

He started to get up, but I was too vulnerable now to have him bail out on me, so I gazed into his eyes and tried to plead him to stay close. That he understood. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes.

"Look Rose, I'm jealous okay. I don't want to hear about Emmett. Not now."

"You brought it up," I said, ignoring how happy it made me to hear him say he was jealous. I didn't want to be that evil. I'm not Bella. I wanted to be the opposite, shield him from any pain.

"My mistake."

"Well it's been said, so now I'm explaining."

"I'm listening," he said reluctantly, expecting not to like what he'll hear. And he might be right, he might not like it. But I've been so completely honest with him ever since he knew my secret, so I'll be honest with him about this as well. Even though I might regret it so much tomorrow. He needed to know. He made wrong conclusions.

Because I stayed silent too long, he opened one eye to look at me, and that looked so adorable that I bent over and kissed his cheek. He couldn't help but smile a little and then said, in a warmer voice.

"Tell me Rose. Why is Emmett making you scream more a good thing for me?"

"Give me time to work this out okay, because I don't really understand myself. You know how my relationship with Emmett works, this open relationship, we both know is temporary?"

Jake nodded and I absently stroked his messy hair, sticky with sweat. I think I tried to calm him down.

"With him, I know where I stand, where we both stand. We love each other, in a way, but not in every way. And it's enough. For me at least. I've got no heart to give, and he doesn't ask. So we're like buddies that come back every night to sleep with each other."

"Rose," he said as if I was hurting him even more now "get to your point?"

He really was jealous, I thought with a stab of pain, mixed with more bubbles in my stomach.

"Getting there. So you remember this whole control theory you brought up, of me using sex to gain power?"

"Hmmm."

"With Emmett I don't need that. I'm in control of my thoughts, and my feelings. Sex is just sex. I don't mind giving in. At first I did, but not anymore."

I waited for him to say something, but he stayed silent. Waiting.

"With you, you're something else," I breathed, and he opened his eyes to look at me. I kept stroking his hair and gazed back into his brown eyes.

I took another deep breath and then continued "With you I'm not in control at all."

He opened his mouth to interrupt, probably to tell me that I controlled him all the time, but I put my finger on his lips.

"Over myself," I finished the sentence. "It's been like this since the start. Ever since you were still an annoying little puppy."

His lips smiled under my finger and I resisted the urge to kiss them.

"The way I acted around you, I didn't understand. Nobody did. And then how I opened up to you. And still do." I shook my head "I just can't wrap my mind around it. It's not me. And on the other hand it's more me than I ever was. With you of all people."

He must wonder what all this had to do with the sex part, but he kept quiet, listening to my admissions.

"And then you go and be my friend. I never thought I would fall for anybody ever again. And all of the sudden I did. I'm falling for you Jacob."

I watched his face intently, looking for a sign of panic. His heart started beating faster, but his eyes watched me affectionately, so I don't think I freaked him out yet.

"And it scares the crap out of me. I feel like my heart is in your teeth, while I didn't even knew I had one. Around you I'm not in control of anything. Except sex..."

His eyes widened and he understood. I knew he did.

"And now I made you surrender, you're more terrified than ever?"

I smiled in relief. He pulled me closer to him again and whispered in my ear:

"I'll be careful with you Rose. I won't let you break. And for what it's worth, I'm falling for you too."

My stomach made all sorts of back flips, but the only way he could tell was by my stuttering voice.

"We can't fall, Jacob. We'll hurt each other."

"No we won't. We'll both be careful."

I let him hold me and I wanted to believe this so bad.

But I knew it wasn't true. We would both end up breaking the other.

We were both damaged goods, willing to believe we could heal the other, but that wasn't possible. Our personalities would crash into each other, like they always have.

And now my feelings were out in the open, one snap of his fingers could pulverize me. Terrified doesn't even begin to describe.

But then his soft lips kiss mine, and his hands are in my hair, keeping my face close, and I feel safe too.

* * *

**AN: She's complicated. I hope you understood what she meant...**


	22. Bittersweet

**Chapter 21: Bittersweet**

**JPOV**

I was absently tracing lines with my fingertip over her cool skin. Her golden eyes looked at me, trusting completely. It overwhelmed me sometimes. This is all so new to me.

We had established that we were falling for each other, but left it at that. That fact alone was earthshaking enough.

It had been two weeks now.

I was slowly getting used to the idea, but I don't think Rose was. Her emotions were all over the place, and I never knew what to expect. Never a dull moment with Rosalie Hale.

I tried to be there for her, I felt like the strong one now. Comforting her. Vampires don't do well with change. Their emotions are usually very fixed, but Rose was an exception to that. We sometimes joked about that being her gift. But it wasn't a gift, more like a curse.

That day by the cliff, where I forced her to surrender to me, had flipped the balance a bit. She was at my mercy and I had to be careful now. And I was slowly learning that the moments where she was annoying me to no end, were the moments that she liked me the most. And the harder she pushed me away, the closer she wanted to get.

We didn't talk about this. I just felt it and learned. To hold her through it all. And she might kick and yell, and be pissed at me for turning her world upside down, but I keep her close until it passes again.

Now that sounds a lot more simple that it actually is. Because she knows me so well now, her words cut like knives. Even though I keep telling myself she doesn't mean it, she hits home when she wants to.

And that's what hurts the most. Knowing that sometimes she wants to.

"What are you thinking about," she asks when she wipes my wet hair away from my forehead and tries to erase my furrowing.

"About you," I answer and my gaze reaches earth again, towards the beautiful naked body next to me. My fingers make circles around her belly button. I relish this moment, because all too soon she would be going home again. Towards him.

"What about me? You can't think about all of me at once, because you'd explode."

She smiles sweetly. The way she looks at me right now… I am in love with moments like these.

"That is exactly what I was thinking about. How you'll make me explode one day."

"Sexually I might," she teased, letting her hand trail down my neck over my shoulder. I close my eyes and sigh softly.

"I'm trying to figure you out."

"Good luck with that," she replied, "I've been trying for decades now. Let me know what you find."

"I think I already know more than you do. But you still surprise me every day."

"You like it that way."

"Mostly."

"What can I say? I'm a girl of extremes, and there's nothing we can do about that. Take it or leave it."

She looked a bit scared now. As if she was giving me an out. As if I was looking for one.

"You know I'd take all of you."

She was eased with my answer and said "yeah you wish."

"I just _did_, didn't I?"

"Na-ah. That was me taking _you_."

"Yeah, you're right."

After that time where I dominated her and had her sobbing in my arms, I didn't take control anymore. I let her get back into her comfort zone of teaching the little pup all there is to know.

She sometimes hinted that she wouldn't mind a repeat of that. Her exact words were, if I remember correctly, that it had been so fucking hot she gets wet whenever she thinks about it. That's maybe more than a subtle hint.

But I was hesitant. I knew she was vulnerable and I didn't want to break her. I know what Royce had done, and I didn't want to remind her of him any more than I already did with my looks.

I was intentionally growing my hair again, hoping that the resemblance would go.

"Do you think this ever happened before in the entire history of wolves and vampires?" I mesmerized, while my fingertips were now softly making patterns over her breasts. "A wolf and a vampire falling for each other?"

I was careful not the phrase falling in _love_, as it would send her sprinting out of my bedroom window, probably without opening it first.

"If they did, they probably didn't survive it," Rose answered, only half joking.

"We've got so many reasons to stay the hell away from each other," I sighed.

"Being mortal enemies reason number one," she smirked, flashing her teeth at me and I answered with a playful growl.

"And then there's you being married." Big downside for me.

"You reminding me of my… ex."

"You being a century old."

"And you being under-aged," she said with a wink. For some reason the fact that she was illegally banging me turned her on. That naughty girl.

"You being an uptight Barbie."

"You being part of an immature puppy pack."

"You being a total fucked up bitch."

"Right back at ya," she chuckled, "basically a match made in hell."

We both laughed out loud.

"We've been over this," I said. "It's useless, it's all in favor of the downsides. The only plus reason is that we just can't help it."

"And the hot sex of course."

"Of course. Maybe we should spread the word. Wolves and vampires all over the world," I said in a solemn voice "mingle among thy selves and make love, not war."

Only then I realized I had said the magic word and I looked at her to see how she took it.

She just smiled, not making the connection with the joke and my true feelings.

Deep down she knows of course. She knows I want her all to myself, all the time. There's not many feelings that make you want that.

My fingers were now no longer aimlessly roaming her skin, but more and more brushing over her nipples, not so accidentally.

We had just finished having sex, and I was more tired and hungry than horny, but her laying here before me, without the urge to cover up, just naked and trusting, made me want to make love to her again. I leaned in closer to place a soft kiss on her neck, and my caressing fingertips turned into kneading hands.

"Jake," she whispered softly, and I pulled back to look at her.

"I need to be getting back. Billy will be home any minute now."

"But wasn't that the reason why we told him about us? So we didn't have to sneak around anymore?"

She gave me a look without expression. I sighed and leaned back, staring at the ceiling.

"This isn't about Billy, is it?"

"Jacob…" she said pleadingly.

"No, it's okay."

We talked about not dropping any bombs on the Cullens before we were absolutely sure there was no way around it. This means that she is just waiting for us to grow tired of each other, so that she can pick up her old life afterwards.

I didn't visit the Cullens anymore. They all knew the imprint had been fake and Bella didn't let me see Nessie anymore. I think it's a trick to get to me, or to use the kid as bait for me to go back there. Within her reach.

Edward played the shocked husband and father, and I let him. The baby was important to me, and if I wanted to keep her in my life, I needed at least one of the parents on my side.

We were silent for a few minutes and when images of Rose and Emmett started to pop up, I needed to get away.

"I'm hungry, Rose," I stated and she knew what it meant.

"Am I hurting you?" she bluntly asked.

I had learned my lesson about being honest, so I wouldn't just say no. She'd see through me anyway.

"Depends on what you'll do."

"Am I hurting you by going home?"

"No. I'd rather have you staying here. But I understand that you need to go home."

"Then what would hurt you?"

"You know what," I answered without opening my eyes. I felt her shifting on the bed to look at me.

"Be specific."

"Please don't make me. Just… go. I understand. See you tomorrow, okay?" I looked at her.

She kissed me sweetly again, but I didn't want any more kisses. If she was going back to her husband, I'd rather have her go right now, and do no bittersweet goodbye scene. Even if only for the night.

She stood up and pulled me up with her. We kissed again by the window, before she opened it.

Instead of jumping out, she turned around to look up at me.

"I hate to do this, Jake. Leave you here. But I need to go home. I won't have sex tonight. I don't know if that makes you feel any better, but I promise, I won't. While you sleep, I'll be thinking about you."

She searched my eyes, trying to comfort me. It did help. So I nodded.

I hugged her tight and whispered "I'll be thinking about you too. Sleeping or not."

At this she smiled and vanished.

* * *

**AN: Poor Jake trying to figure out what to do about her. What do you think he should do? Push her into a choice or let her hurt him?**

**If you like this story, you might also like the Jake/Rose story my friend Chanel5 is writing. If you aren't alredy reading it, check it out, it's called "Superman Tonight" and you can find it in my favorites, where it belongs :-)**


	23. Dessert

**Chapter 22: Dessert **

**RPOV**

Edward isn't the only man caving for Bella's every wish. There's another one carrying an equally large amount of guilt towards her, for not being there for her, and who's willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy.

And that's how Charlie managed to organize a dinner party inviting Bella, Edward, Nessie, Billy and Jacob. He was sorry that Bella and Jacob didn't talk anymore while they were such good friends, and Billy agreed, knowing that Jacob really wanted to see Nessie again. I knew that Bella had something to do with it, because somehow the dinner was planned in the week Edward was joining Emmett to visit the Denali coven. Bella had bailed out on that trip, not ready to show the baby to other vampires who might not understand.

I know why Emmett is going. I still slept with him as I desperately tried to hold on to the life that was familiar to me, but not nearly as much as I used to. Especially when Jake gave me his puppy eyes when saying goodbye. He never asked me to leave Emmett alone, but I knew what it did to him, and it hurt me too. So Emmett was giving me some space, while getting himself some Tanya.

Result of the coincidence: Jake and Bella would be having dinner with the baby and their parents. Needless to say, he wasn't looking forward to it. So I made up a counter plan and somehow got myself invited too. If Bella could bring her boyfriend, who unfortunately wasn't in town, then Jake was allowed to bring his girlfriend. He wasn't playing dirty, but I sure was.

I know Jake was nervous, but we don't talk about it. He might as well be nervous about Nessie's reaction to him. It had been weeks and the kid is growing so fast and learning so many new things. He thinks she's forgotten all about him. Bella says that she doesn't ask for him, but last time I held her, she showed me some memories so either they were lying, or the baby simply didn't show him to Bella, knowing that it makes her sad. She's a smart kid with a strong intuition, so the theory seems plausible to me.

When we arrived, Bella waited nicely for the bell to ring, because there was no way she could explain her father why she could hear our car minutes in advance. She swung the door open and flung her arms around Jacob's neck, as if she hadn't been cross with him for weeks. My mood was already below freezing point and as I wheeled Billy towards the front door, easily lifting him up the steps, I coughed impatiently.

She clearly had not been expecting me, because her face fell as soon as she saw me and her eyes moved over my appearance, head to toe.

Urgh. This was going to be one of those nights. Where Rose gets the glares just for being pretty.

She got in, tugging at Jacob's hand to follow her and my eyes rested on their hands that had found a way of intertwining, like they always had. He looked around a little apologetic, and then followed her inside, widely smiling at Charlie, who hadn't seen him in a while.

He politely introduced me and we all sat down at the dinner table, while Bella disappeared in the kitchen. The table wasn't meant for inviting guests and could normally only harbor four people, but me and Jake gladly took the side at the table where two chairs were standing closely together. I wanted him as near as possible. While Jake and Charlie were catching up, Bella reappeared and interrupted their conversation by saying: "Nessie is sleeping upstairs, Jacob, do you want to see her?"

I almost growled with annoyance. Why was it ever only me who noticed these things about her?

Of course Jake's face totally lit up and he was halfway across the living room by the time she finished her question. They both disappeared and left me with both men who were now a little uncomfortable. My cleavage was emphasized, just for Bella's annoyance and to make sure Jacob's eyes were on me tonight. So far great job, I thought with rolling eyes, wishing I had a vest to cover myself up a bit. As both men were talking, I couldn't catch what the whispers upstairs were about.

After a while, could have been five minutes but could have just as well been five hours, Jake appeared again, holding the sleepy baby. Although still a bit sleepy, Nessie clearly looked happy to see him, her little hand already on his face to show him all the stuff he missed out on.

His smile lit up the entire room and my murderous mood faded a little.

With that charming look on his face he said: "Bella do you mind if I take Nessie outside a few minutes while you finish up the dinner, she loves to run with me." Clever, now she couldn't propose to go with him. She nodded and he beckoned with his head for me to follow. I excuses myself and quickly followed him outside.

"Are you okay?" he asked, as soon as we were out of hearing distance.

"Is that why you pulled this trick? To check up on me?" My arm snaked around his waist. How badly I wanted to claim him. I was slowly understanding what it must be like for him, letting me go back to Emmett every day, not knowing what I'm up to all night if I'm not sleeping. And mostly his worst assumptions were right.

"I can tell that you are driving yourself nuts and the dinner hasn't even begun."

"But she…"

"She's being nice, Rose," he interrupted me. "She told me she didn't want her dad to know what was going on and she asked me if we could behave like friends for tonight."

"But it's a trick."

"No, it's not. I want to be her friend. I'm not expecting you to be hers, but can we please try to make the best out of this evening? For me?"

I took a deep breath and tried to let go of my annoyance for Bella, knowing deep down that I was just jealous of the hold she still seemed to have on my lover boy.

He looked at me adoringly, making a little fun of my aggravation, and he pulled me closer for a searing hot kiss, melting away all that bothered me.

As soon as I started pressing my body into his, however, he pulled back and started jogging back to the house.

"Come on," he called for me, laughing out loud. He held Nessie high above his head, playing airplane with her and she released excited cries. I shook my head but couldn't help but smile, as I followed him inside.

During dinner Jake placed his warm hand on my leg and gave me a little squeeze whenever I released a soft sigh because Bella kept staring into his eyes across the table and sometimes I caught him staring back. I think he was just being polite to her, but no way to be sure. She'll always be his weak spot I'm afraid.

I reluctantly kept shoving the human food in my mouth, as was Bella, and when Charlie wasn't looking, me and Jake quickly switched plates and I pretended to have had enough. Charlie nodded understandingly, eyeing my slender figure.

Now I was done eating, my hand disappeared under the tablecloth and found it's way to Jake's thigh. I was softly caressing his skin through his shorts and I heard a low approving hum, too soft even for Bella to hear.

It was that sound that made my hand a little naughty. Ever so slowly it slid up a little further, until it reached what it had been looking for. Jake shifted a little uncomfortably, but didn't look at me, and I think if he wanted me to stop, he would have made himself more clear than this. In fact, when my hand just laid still there, he moved a bit in his chair towards my hand, urging me on. That naughty boy.

I could clearly feel him through the shorts, always going commando. My fingertips softly stoked him through the fabric and I noticed how he was growing hard under my hand. Meanwhile I kept the conversation going, asking Billy and Charlie about baseball and about fishing and pretending to be very interested. They bought it and were talking enthusiastically. With my free hand I kept refilling their glasses. I don't know if Bella noticed, she was staring at him, but of course she had been staring at him during dinner too.

I wanted my hand inside his pants, and I could tell by his twitching that he wanted that too, but such a movement wouldn't go unnoticed by her. So I said with a straight face:

"I am up for some dessert, how about you Jake?"

He nearly choked on his drink, but Charlie jumped to the rescue, urging Bella on to quickly get us some dessert. She eyed me suspiciously, so she wasn't on to us yet. If we kept this up, she would soon hear enough with her vampire ears, but she can't really bust me red handed as I have super speed.

So I continued this little game. While Bella was in the kitchen, loading the pie on the plates, my hand slid inside the elastic waistband of his shorts and as I grabbed his thick cock, Jacob coughed and gave me a warning look. He could get very busted of course, with no means of hiding that thing wearing only the thin shorts.

I winked at him and moved my hand slowly and carefully.

As Bella walked back in and handed us all a plate with dessert, he was very very much focused on poking his fork around in it.

"What's the matter Jake? Aren't you hungry anymore?" Bella asked. At hearing her taunting tone, I have a feeling that she knows. And if she didn't, then she does now, because this adorable blush creeps up his cheeks and he stutters something about the pie being very good, before stuffing a large piece in his mouth.

I can't really give him the hand job his dick is craving, as my arm needs to stay as still as possible, but I move my hand holding him in a tight squeeze and I wet my thumb in precum and slide it over his glans fast. He gasps a little and quickly grabs his glass of wine, gulping it down and placing it back on the table with a sigh. His cheeks are now bright red and Billy makes a comment on him getting no more wine. We all laugh at this, all but Bella. She keeps eyeing him, holding a staring competition. And as I see his stare going back at her, I squeeze him extra hard and let my thumb circle faster, putting some pressure on his most sensitive spots.

Apart from the cheeks he kept his composure but his heart was beating fast. I saw hurt in Bella's eyes and I know I'm being mean, but she needs to learn that he's not hers. I keep going, telling myself that he could have said no if he wanted to and I watch him from the corner of my eyes. I notice how he tenses up ever so slightly and how his cock swells even more in my hand. Bella must have noticed something like that too, because all of the sudden she stands up and mumbles something about the baby crying and runs up the stairs.

I use both father's distraction to finish the job with a few hard forceful strokes and he comes over my hand and his shorts with a low grunt. Charlie gives him a worried look but I distract him with a charming smile, saying that we all ate so much we're practically exploding. I hear footsteps upstairs and before Bella gets back, I use vampire speed to clean him and my hand up with napkins.

After dinner we thanked our host for the delicious food and lovely evening. Bella kept awfully quiet. Billy would stay there to watch a game on TV and Charlie offered to bring him home afterwards. As soon as our car was out of sight, we both burst into laughter.

"Oh Rose, you are so mean!"

"I don't recall you objecting, mister nice guy!" I stumped him in his side.

"Should I have asked you to take your hand out of my pants at the dinner table?" he asked, still wearing a cheesy grin.

"Hear hear, all innocent. You wanted it, you're just as naughty as I am."

"Yeah, I wanted it. Why don't you pull over so I can show you just how naughty I am?"

"No way, not in this car."

"So in front of my dad is okay, but not in your precious car?"

"That's right."

"Alright then pull over and get out."

So that's what I did.

* * *

**AN: Naughty or mean?**


	24. Annoyed

**Chapter 23: Annoyed**

**JPOV**

I was patrolling the borders and trying not to think about her.

Something that I used to be better at. The only wolves present were Jared and Sam, so I wasn't too worried about teasing as that's mainly Quil, Embry and Paul's territory, but still, most of the thoughts were too private to share. Too intimate.

_Get used to it dude, it's like that for all of us._

My situation is just a tad different, I thought back at Sam. Jared stayed out of it, focused on hunting a juicy rabbit. I was grateful. I know Sam means well with his advise, but it's nothing I haven't told myself before.

_All situations are different_, he continued nonetheless, _think it was easy for me with Leah around_?

Right. Forgot about that. I bet he would have killed for some privacy in his mind back then.

_Definitely. Still do, nothing's changed._

I'm sorry, man. But your feelings at least aren't a secret. We know you are together and we know you love Emily.

_We know you love Rose too. _

Shut up. We don't know that. She's a vampire for crying out loud.

_Doesn't matter. It's the truth. And the sooner you realize this the better._

Please Sam, you might hear my thoughts but I don't need you to analyze my feelings as well.

_I'm sorry. We're just worried about you, that's all._

We? As in you talk about me?

_More like thinking. It's not like we can ignore it. We know about her past. And most of us can't help but thinking that she'll hurt you. You're in too deep already. She seems like all she needs is your attention to get a distraction._

You don't know her.

_No we don't. But we see in your memory how she's sweet one day and crabby the next._

She's a woman! Newsflash! They get crabby.

_It isn't supposed to be this way. Sure girls get crabby, but man, this one really hurts you. Already. And honestly…_

No thanks, I think I had enough of your honesty. I began seriously considering phasing back to get rid of these annoying things. Things that were true but none of their business. But he finished his thoughts anyway and I heard.

… _do you really believe she will ever leave him? Not in a hundred years._

That's it. I phased back.

Talk about hitting home and hurting me.

I kicked the nearest tree and cursed when I felt my toe swelling. Would heal soon enough.

Just out of annoyance I kicked again with the same foot. And cursed again. Before I sat down, defeated.

A big neon light was flashing in my mind. It said: "HE'S RIGHT".

Of course he was. But I knew that from the start, didn't I? We were just a fling. She and Emmett belonged together, soul mates or not. Two vampires being just right for each other. No enemy crap, no reminding of exes, just good friends having screaming sex.

Dammed.

How did I end up so deep in this?

As I was contemplating all that happened over the last months, out of nowhere suddenly Jared appeared, human. I was ready to ask him to leave or get up myself, when he quickly said "I'm not here to lecture you."

"Either way, can you leave me alone, man?"

He didn't answer and sat down next to me.

We sat in silence, me still annoyed, absently throwing stones in front of me and him just staring ahead. I had no idea what brought him here and I wasn't about to ask him.

Soon enough, he talked anyway.

"You have to understand Sam, he's looking out for his pack. Fatherly and all…"

"I already have one father on my back."

"I know."

He seemed bothered by the situation as well. Then what the hell was he doing here?

"Is that why you came? To tell me to take it easy on Sam?"

"No, I just want you to know I'm on your side. I hope it works out for you and Rose, and if it doesn't, I won't be all 'told ya so'."

"Oh. Um. Thanks I guess. But there's nothing to work out. We just fuck."

He looked at me and nodded, as if to say 'sure sure'.

I wasn't ready to admit anything more, and they better not bother me with this.

He added to that look "We're a pack so we all know that's not true. But it's fine. Really. And if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

I know he was trying to be my friend, but his tone and the look he gave me suggested that I would get hurt for sure, and it pissed me off even more.

I didn't need their pity. Rose was a friend who needed me. And we had some damn good sex. And if I felt more for her, I would keep that in check. I would not get broken hearted. Nobody can take away what I never hoped for, right?

I stood up and walked away. I could apologize later. If I stayed now my temper would get the better of me, and deep down I knew the pack was not what I was annoyed with most. I was annoyed with Rose, for sleeping with Emmett, still. With me for lying to myself. With this whole god damn situation, for getting so out of hand.

And annoyed when I noticed that somehow I had been going the same direction again. Ending at their garage and relieved when I saw the lights on. That could only mean one thing.

I heard her ranting and cursing at an engine and remembered that first time I helped her out when her car broke down. I almost smiled, but not quite. Not in this mood.

I kicked open the door and just stood there. She looked up from under the hood, and the expression on her face reflected my bad temper. It's funny that I turn to her, when she's the one that put me in this state. But I just can't help myself.

"If you came here to poke fun at me for ruining this fucking engine, better leave again."

I stepped closer and almost smirked, glad that she wasn't up for sweet talk. I wasn't here for holding hands anyway.

"I'm here to fuck you, Rose." I simply stated.

"Oh," she said, and that's all it took.

Next thing I knew she had tackled me and I was on the floor with a greasy vampire on top of me. Somehow the dirt and motor oil turned me on and I gripped her hips and pulled her hard against me. There were no whispered words or soft caresses. Screw foreplay and screw all the vampires in the house overhearing.

After tossing our clothes, she stood up again and sat down on the hood of the car she had been working on, and pulled my body between her legs. When I murmured that we would break it, she simply smirked, as if that was exactly the revenge she had in mind for that badly behaved car.

We did indeed end up breaking it, and landed on the floor afterwards, her riding me as if there was no tomorrow. After I came twice and she lost count, I stood up and grabbed my shorts. I was too hungry to go on and Billy would probably be wondering where I was.

We didn't utter praises or goodbyes. She got dressed again and watched me leave without a word.

And somehow I felt better. Physically for obvious reasons, but I also had the feeling that I had proven a point to myself. As to what we were, me and her. Fuck buddies and nothing more.

And I shouldn't allow myself to get confused again, because that was all it was ever going to be.

* * *

**AN: That's a wolf throwing a tantrum ;)**


	25. Risk

**Chapter 24: Risk**

**RPOV**

~*~  
_Just when you think you've got me figured out  
the season's already changing  
I think it's cool you do what you do  
and don't try to save me  
_~*~

Normally after hunting I would run straight to Jake. But today he was patrolling, so me and Emmett performed our hunt like we used to all those years. Hunt the same prey, drink it together while watching each other, getting incredibly turned on and then pounding the other right there on the forest floor. It was nice and familiar, I could tell that he missed our sexual closeness as well.

He wasn't frustrated, he still got plenty, and he wasn't jealous either, he never gave me a hard time about Jake. Emmett is the kind of guy that just goes with what he feels, and he's actually glad that now I'm doing the same for once. Chasing the pup.

In fact, I even get the impression he's encouraging me.

"So Rose, what's with the patrolling lately?"

We lay on the ground, not dressing yet as we would probably start a second round in a few. These things were agreed without words, just a look or simple mutual understanding.

"What do you mean?"

"He is working pack shifts a lot. You had a fight or something?"

"No. Surprisingly enough we haven't had a fight in a while. I guess he's just catching up on his duties, he's been slacking a bit before," I grinned, remembering the times he lay in my arms saying 'screw the pack'.

"Hmmm," Emmett grunted. He wasn't convinced.

I lay on my side to look at him. At my beautiful man, my companion.

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if he found his soul mate. If I could do without him. Right now I don't think I could. Fun with Jake or not. Butterfly belly aches or not.

"Are you avoiding each other?" he suddenly asked after a very long pause. I was startled.

"No, why would we be avoiding?"

"Hell, how could I know," he chuckled, often making fun of my complicated nature, "it just seems like that to me."

He's mostly right though, when he feels something. He got me thinking.

Me and Jake did talk less lately, and he did patrol more. But that doesn't have to mean anything, does it?

"Maybe we're growing tired of each other?" I tried.

This is what I had been expecting. An exciting fling. A side effect from trusting each other with the hurt and pain. Me getting over my Royce memory and him getting over Bella. Maybe we didn't need each other anymore once the worst was over.

"I don't believe that, Rose. I think you're in love with him but holding back."

"Oh master analyst, how do you figure that?" I rolled my eyes playfully at him.

"I can't explain. Just my two cents." I thought he wouldn't be able to explain. Feelings and words are two worlds apart. He continued however.

"The thing I wonder about is, why would you be holding back? The pup is obviously smitten, and you do the whole I don't care act. Which is totally fake, you might be complicated but I know you that well."

"But you don't know him. How can you tell he's smitten?"

"Aw come on Rose. He worships the ground you walk on. If you snap your fingers, he comes running."

"He's hung up on the sex, he was a virgin before, remember. I kinda rocked his world," I said pretty pleased with myself.

He simply shook his head, not agreeing with me.

"If that's true Rose, he'd be chasing every pussy in town, finally realizing what he's been missing."

"Maybe he does."

"Is that why you're holding back? You don't trust him?"

"I do trust him. But we are not each other's property. We never said anything about being exclusive, I'm here with you aren't I?"

"Yes. And maybe you shouldn't."

"What?"

"I'm not complaining Rose. If you want it, I give it to you. But if I were him, I wouldn't be too pleased with this. You say he might be sleeping around, but you know damn well that he isn't and you wouldn't like it either."

We never talked about this, but I did know that Jake was hurt by me sleeping with Emmett. I just figured that's how it is.

"Are you saying that you and me shouldn't sleep together anymore?"

"Hell no!" Emmett said, rolling on top of me and kissing my neck, "I just thought that you would be considering it by now."

"He's not my boyfriend." I stated, stubbornly.

"Sure he's not," he said, kissing his way up to my ear and I tilted my head, although not really into it. This conversation was making me think of things I hadn't considered before.

Emmett saw that it wasn't working and leaned back again.

"Give me one good reason _not_ to go for him. And don't come near me with the werewolf puppy crap. I know that's bullshit. I'm talking good reason here. Convince me."

I did have one hell of a reason. And I took a deep breath to say it out loud.

"Imprinting."

He slowly nodded, letting the meaning of that sink in.

"Did you tell him that?"

"No. Wouldn't change a thing."

He was silent after this. Looking for ways to get around it. But there were none. There's no way in hell that you can avoid imprinting, I can't keep him from meeting new girls for all eternity. So it would be the same story all over again. Me waiting for my man to find his one and true love...

Only this time my heart was really on the line, unlike with Emmett.

This was way too dangerous, and I wasn't going for it.

So yeah, maybe Emmett was right. Maybe I was holding back.

With good reason.

Suddenly I wasn't in the mood for making out anymore. At all.

I started collecting my clothes and putting them back on. Emmett just watched me, without interfering, but when I was done, he pulled me back against him and wrapped his arms around me.

"It's not a good reason, Rose," he simply said.

"It is. I'm not…" I started but he interrupted me.

"You're never sure, with whomever you choose. Any guy can fall for someone else and run off, not just when he imprints."

"And how is that helping me?"

"Just… It's always a risk and most people agree that it's worth taking. If you don't think so, then you might as well give up on the whole idea of love in the first place."

"And your point?"

"You can't be serious Rose. You don't want to stay alone forever."

"I'm good this way. I'm not alone."

"I won't be here forever," he sighed.

"I'll find another just like you."

Emmett took another deep breath, I knew he was losing his patience, but showing it would have backwards effect with me.

He slowly continued "you found someone better than me. You're in deep already, whether you want to or not. Why not take the leap and I'll be here to catch you if you should fall. You'll regret if you don't."

"Everything is so simple for you, Emm," I said exasperated.

"It is simple. It's not easy, I know that, but it is simple."

We lay like that, silent, just holding each other. I listened to the silence in his chest, thinking about Jake's heartbeat. The sun started to go down, and the sounds in the forest were changing. We had no place to be, except here in each other's arms. No place but one maybe.

At last I heard him taking in a breath and he said: "You're not going to do it, are you? Take the risk."

"No," I simply answered.

"I understand." His arms wrapped tighter around me and I was glad he stopped pushing.

For now at least. I wasn't ready.

* * *

**AN: I bet Emmett surprised you there.**


	26. Something Stupid

**Chapter 25: Something Stupid**

**JPOV**

Today was one of her sweet days and I was enjoying her affection, even though I tried to act cool. Me realizing we could never be more, didn't have to mean that I didn't need someone to hold and that I couldn't relish in the feeling of taking care of her. Underneath all her thorns she was so vulnerable and she needed me just as much.

We were at my place, just hanging out. Me and my father had finished a pizza and a couple of beers, and the three of us were watching a movie on TV. It was one of the Police Academy series, and I have to admit that they make me laugh out loud, no matter how silly sometimes. Rose was only mildly interested, instead she was studying my hand and absently tracing the lines in my palm. I suppressed the shivers running through me, telling myself I can't be that affected by just her fingertips, and focused on the movie.

When dad grew tired, Rose got up without him asking her, and she helped him to bed. He never allowed me to do so, saying that he can manage just fine, but with her he doesn't protest. I know, although he grumbles about leeches sometimes, that he secretly likes her. Rose said that he just likes a woman taking care of him, and that he's way too proud to have his son doing that.

When she came back, she didn't take her previous spot next to me, but crawled into my lap. She rested her head on my shoulder and moved one arm around me, fingers combing through my hair.

I hummed and closed my eyes, willing myself to keep the cool act and then I focused on the movie again.

"Rose, you can't see the TV if you lay like this."

"I don't care about the movie anyway."

"You want to change the channel?" I asked, remembering with a smile how we used to fight for the remote just to annoy each other. That seems so long ago now.

"No. I'm good here," she replied, eliciting goose bumps on my neck when she softly scrapes her nails over my scalp.

She chuckled and added "like me scratching behind your ear, puppy?"

I also remember how she could get me reeling by using that word, but now I simply answered "I do."

This pleased her, she nestled a little closer and my attention was back on the TV. Maybe it's not okay to cuddle like this with friends, but who's going to make the rules? It is so obvious that we both enjoy this moment, so why shouldn't we?

Suddenly she sat up a little straighter and got an inquiring look on her face. I looked back with raised eyebrows.

"You should get a hair cut. I like your hair better when I can push it up like this."

She started working my hair, trying to make a fohawk, but it wouldn't stay and fell back.

"I'm growing it longer again."

"Why?"

I pondered for a moment but then said "because I thought the shorter hair reminded you of Royce."

"Oh Jake, the time where you reminded me of him is a long way back. You really thought I still see him in you?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Ever since the flashbacks I realized you are nothing alike. Absolutely nothing."

"Oh."

"So you'll get your hair cut for me then?"

"Sure sure."

She grinned and leaned closer to kiss me. I let myself get lost in her slow deep kiss. I must say this new information relieved me and I had been in an affectionate mood to start with, so the movie was long forgotten when our arms were wrapped tighter and our tongues started moving with more urgency.

She shifted positions and straddled me, kissing me again with even more passion.

I know where this will lead as I feel her body pressing into mine.

"Rose, we can't, dad's here…"

"He's asleep. And either way, it would take him minutes to get back into the wheelchair and roll in here."

"I know but he can hear us, he's got good ears and the walls are thin." We should know, we broke some...

"We'll be quiet," she whispered before she softly bit down my ear lobe.

My hands were betraying my words as they were already underneath her blouse caressing her perfect skin and snaking to the front to feel her feminine form. She leaned back a bit to grant me better access while she swiftly unbuttoned my pants to feel me. My hips were now traitors as well, lifting upwards so she could lower the pants and free me. I should know better than trying to stop her when she was intent on getting me. All I could do now was hoping we would indeed be quiet and that dad would sleep deeply.

Rose stood up to remove her jeans and then straddled me again, rubbing herself against me and kissing slowly.

I shifted my hips, letting her know that I wasn't in for teasing, I was lost in her and I needed her.

She understood and she lowered herself over me. We both bit our lower lip to stay silent as we looked into each other's eyes. It might have been funny even, if the moment wasn't that intense.

We moved slowly in unison, while softly kissing lips, cheeks and necks.

When I wanted to give her some extra stimulation, she stopped my hand and said "no don't, you'll make me scream, let's just enjoy this."

She had a point there. I tried not to lose control as that would make me louder as well. There was something exciting about the possibility to get caught, unlike our many encounters by the cliff, and because we had to take it slow this time, our bodies grew more and more on fire.

I was trembling, dying to flip her over and pound her like no tomorrow, but every time a moan escaped, she quickly covered my mouth with hers and we kissed again until I was breathless.

We must have been going for hours, somehow the TV first showed snow and was then switched to standby, making the living room even more quiet so that now I was almost afraid that my loud heart beat would wake up dad.

I looked into her honey eyes and she looked as desperate as me, for something. She held on to me with force, probably bruising me, but her hips kept moving slow and steady.

"Rose," I whispered, or more moaned "I need to, please, you're killing me."

"But will you be quiet?"

"I don't care, just give me more, please."

She must have decided that dad was sound asleep, because all of the sudden her hips slammed into mine fast and hard, and it only took me only a couple of thrusts to explode inside her. My loud grunt was stifled by her kiss and after the last shocks of my orgasm had died, she leaned back again, listening carefully.

The sweet smile on her face told me that dad was still sleeping and she leaned against me, resting her head on my shoulder again.

"I love hearing your heartbeat, I could listen to it all day," she sighed, content.

She looked as blissful as I was feeling, no sign of frustration.

I just hummed and wrapped my arms around her, pressing her even closer to me.

And then it happened. I had no control over it. It just came from the deep of my stomach and burst out in a soft sigh, without passing through my brains first.

"I love you…"

We both froze and my heart skipped a beat. I wanted to take it back, but panic overruled me and it would be too late anyway.

Rose had pushed herself upright and I saw by the look in her eyes that nothing I would say could keep her here.

She stood up as in slow motion, mumbling something about Edward, late, babysitting, but I only caught bits and pieces. Her jeans were on in no time and before she left she gave me a chaste peck on my forehead.

I was left in a daze, my hand slowly reaching up my forehead as if there would be traces of her left.

And bit by bit I realized what a mistake I had made. Of all the things to say to her, this might have been the most stupid choice.

True or not, I was in no state to think about that now.

But stupid beyond belief, without a doubt.

* * *

**AN: It was bound to happen. Now what?**


	27. Peace Offer

**Chapter 26: Peace Offer**

**RPOV**

I spent hours watching my phone, knowing he wouldn't call. I lost count of how many times I started typing something but then erased it again. I wanted to apologize but I knew that 'sorry' was not what he wanted to hear.

After four hours I decided to simply go back. I had no idea what I wanted to say to him, maybe I just wanted to check if he was alright.

I went to the back of the house, where the window of his room was opened. I wondered if it had been like this, or if it was an invitation. I listened intently and I could hear his steady heart beat and a soft snore. He was asleep. Good. He mustn't be too worried then.

I went back home and explained to Emmett what had happened. The look on his face said "told ya so" but he didn't say it out loud and simply took me out hunting. My man knows what I need. I calculated time and wondered when he would be up again. Emmett let me know that it was my job to reopen conversation, I had been the one running and Jake knew it.

Luckily enough he's not that stubborn, around ten in the morning I got a text from him.

"_I'm sorry Rose, I understand if you don't want to see me right now, but I just wanted you to know I didn't mean it."_

He apologized? I knew for sure that he _had_ meant it. I might even feel the same, but there was no way that I could tell him that. Where would that leave us? I needed to brace myself for the heartache I couldn't handle.

Maybe he already had my heart and maybe it was too late for my defenses, but I couldn't just _give_ it to him. I couldn't give myself so he could toss me when his imprint strolled by.

Emmett understood, but pushed me into telling this to Jacob. He had given me his heart, whether he wanted it back now or not, and he had the right to know why I wasn't reciprocating.

I decided to stop by his place and because I couldn't give him what he deserved, I decided to bring the next best thing. A peace offer if you will.

I rang the door bell and waited. I heard Billy nearing, no sign of Jake. He wasn't surprised to see me and told me Jake was busy in the garage. I was glad he wasn't patrolling, because now I finally gathered my courage, I wasn't sure it would last if I had to wait for hours.

I went into the garage and as soon as Jacob was in sight, sitting in front of a motorcycle with a concentrated look on his face, the baby on my arm squealed in delight. His face snapped up and he appeared to have forgotten all about our previous day when he rushed over to stretch his arms out to Nessie. I chuckled and grabbed the rag in his belt loops so he could clean himself up first before taking the kid. The sunshine in both their smiles lit up my world, and I understood what had brought him to say those three words. They were burning on my tongue right now.

His attention was elsewhere, as he lifted Nessie high above his head and performed every act she showed him with her little hand with a huge grin.

I leaned back against the door and watched. I felt their happiness and somehow with a pang in my chest I realized this was what I would never have. This was the closest to a family I could ever get. A man, a woman and a baby loving each other.

I knew we needed to talk but I was patient, knowing that Nessie would soon sink back into a peaceful sleep against his warm chest.

As soon as she started to doze off, he hopped on his work bench and cradled her. I sat down next to him.

So this is when the talking should start. Instead there was a silence that resounded in the air. The happy atmosphere had dozed off as well, and now all that was left was awkwardness. I knew it was my turn to speak, as Emmett had pointed out to me.

"About yesterday," I started.

"Forget about it. I told you I didn't mean it. It was just the aftersex glow thing, that's all."

I looked sideways but he didn't return my gaze and I stared in front of me again. Fidgeting with my hands in my lap.

"I want to be honest with you. I understand that you should be scared to be open with me now, seeing as how I treated you yesterday."

"Please Rose, let it go. Yesterday was wonderful."

"It was. But it could have been better. If I had been able to say it back."

I was ignoring his drawback because I knew it was a lie and this time he let me. I felt his eyes on me but this time I didn't dare to turn towards him.

"_If_ I did love you back," I continued carefully, emphasizing the 'if', "I wouldn't tell you, because I'm afraid."

"I know," he whispered.

Our eyes finally locked and all I wanted was to hold him. Kiss him till all else was forgotten, but these things needed to be said.

"You don't know why I'm afraid."

"You're scared I'm going to hurt you. Break your heart."

"I am. But it's not because I don't trust you." I took a deep breath and said it. "I'm scared you might imprint."

His eyes widened. He clearly hadn't considered the possibility, which was a sign of his sincerity but was also very naïve.

"Yeah," I said, and broke eye contact, watching sleeping Nessie.

"But…" he protested before falling silent again. I knew he wouldn't find a way around it.

"But that's not fair," he finally concluded.

"I know, and I'm sorry. But it's the way it is. See what happened to Leah. I won't be able…"

"It won't happen Rose. I won't let it."

"I'm sorry Jake. I know how imprinting works and I know it sucks. For both of us, believe me. But I can't do it, loving someone and knowing he could be lost in the blink of an eye."

"You can lose any man, not just with imprinting." He used the same argument as Emmett had come up with.

"It's different. With any other man, there is a way to fight for the relationship. With imprinting there's no possibility."

"You don't know that."

"You think Sam just wanted to leave Leah?"

"Maybe. Don't judge me on what he did."

I shook my head, knowing that he was just hanging on to things, well aware that it wouldn't work.

We both watched Nessie for the longest time, silent and sad.

When Nessie woke up, we didn't speak of the matter anymore. We just let her show us all she wanted to show and tried to smile as much as we could, which had become a little harder than before. We fed her ice cream and Jake phased to let her sit on his back, an activity that always caused her to erupt in pure joy.

The more I watched him, watched them together, the more this whole situation started to hurt me. How badly I wanted it. Break that whole imprinting to pieces and have him to myself. This wonderful creature.

When the sun started to set, I got a text from Edward asking if everything was alright. I knew this was my cue to return the baby home, and I shouldn't stall as they had been kind enough to let me bring her here. With a last jolt of pain, I watched how Jake told Nessie goodbye, whispering to her that he loved her, no matter how little he got to see her, and then handed her to me with a hurt expression in his eyes. Hurt for several reasons.

He walked me to the jeep and helped me placing Nessie safely in her seat. I could manage this alone as well, but I enjoyed feeling him close to me. Our shoulders pressed together, bent into the passenger's seat. We hadn't hugged or kissed today, and I had the feeling that I shouldn't, even though there was nothing in the world that I'd rather do right now.

When I got behind the wheel and looked up to wave at him, he stood by my window and motioned for me to open it.

I looked at him questioningly and he said:

"There is one major flaw in your whole thinking, Rose, with being scared of the imprint and holding back."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"You assume that you just can decide _not_ to love me back, while you obviously already do."

He stood up and stepped back towards the house, entering and closing the door behind him, leaving me stunned.

* * *

**AN: Good point there, huh?**


	28. Insane

**Chapter 27: Insane**

**JPOV**

At first I was convinced that it would work. That it would only be a matter of time. But I never calculated this much time.

It had been two weeks since I put her to the choice, all or nothing, and she still hasn't caved.

Instead she was reversing the roles and making this hard on me too. The current strategy was: drive the other insane with want and don't go insane first.

She was on top of course, because she had Emmett to clear her of built up frustrations. But I had the truth on my side, and that she knew as well.

When she walked up to me as I was lazing by the cliff, wearing only a tiny bikini, I almost groaned. But I wouldn't grant her that pleasure. So I gave her a quick once over and then returned my gaze to the waves below, faking disinterest.

She sat down next to me, her cold arm against mine, like we had so many times before.

"Feel like swimming today?"

And being pressed against that sexy wet body of yours? No thanks! "Nah."

She chuckled and I glanced at her. Her eyes were on my pants that were not faking disinterest.

She may laugh all she can, but I know how she craves what's inside, so I leaned back a bit, no longer hiding my tent.

Her fingers wandered over my back up to my neck and there scratched behind my ear, causing me to lean my head back into her touch, eyes closed.

"How long do you plan on continuing this game, Jake?" she drawled in my ear, and then her tongue made one long slow lick across my jaw line to my neck.

This time I did groan and almost decided to go for a swim anyway. But that would be giving in and amuse her too much. I needed to switch the roles and don't let her victimize me.

"As long as it takes, Rose," I said, trying to steady my voice.

And I adjusted myself in my pants, that were now uncomfortably tight. I did in a way that she had an even better look on my erection through the straining fabric. Her eyes were locked down there and I believe the score was at a draw.

She peeled her gaze away from me and then lay down on her back, stopping the caresses of my neck.

So far both going insane at the same rate.

I lay down next to her, but we were careful not to look at each other or touch each other now. The electricity in the air was almost palpable.

"I don't know why you are doing this," she whined, "we had it so good together."

"We did. But things changed."

"They don't have to. We can go back to that."

"No we can't. It wasn't fair. I was all yours and you weren't mine."

"You know I'm more yours than I have ever been anybody's."

My heart leapt but I needed to be strong now. "It's not enough."

"But Jake…"

"I mean it. I want all of you. I want you to be all mine. And as long as you're not giving, then I'm not giving either. All or nothing."

"You know I can't."

"You could try…" I trailed off.

"How can you even ask me to do this, when you aren't even over Bella?"

"Bella? What? Don't hide behind Bella when it's clear you just can't let Emmett go."

"This is not about Emmett. This is about us making huge decisions."

"What decisions? I love you, you love me. That's all. We're not getting married. I'm just saying I'm not sharing you anymore. So Emmett is all this is about."

"You don't understand," she sighed.

"Alright. Then I don't. But I stand my ground on this one."

We had been over this conversation and it seemed as if both of us spoke different languages. Is it so god damn hard to grasp that when a guy loves a girl, he doesn't want her sleeping with another?

I don't think so.

Then why won't she get it?

She says it's something symbolic. By letting herself be all mine, her heart would be more on the line than it already is. I think that's bullshit. She already loves me. If I tell her I don't care anymore, or maybe even imprint, she would be crushed. Sex with Emmett or not. But it's all about what she makes herself believe.

Lately I don't know anymore.

I'm starting to doubt this whole plan. She's a damaged girl and I wanted to take care of her. Be patient with her. And now I'm pushing her to a breaking point. Maybe I was in the wrong here.

But I don't think I had much of a choice. I simply couldn't share her anymore. The thought of her going home every night, into his arms, the thought of his body inside of hers making her scream, it made me sick. And I really like Emmett, but right now I couldn't look him in the face without wanting to break it.

She's _my_ girl, she loves _me_.

Why was he still giving in to her? She's just using him to prove to herself that she's not mine yet.

But I guess I can understand him. There were times not so long ago that I let her use me gladly. I shouldn't judge him. He's just giving her what she wants. What she can't get from me.

She turned on her side and I braced myself for another attack. Simply thinking about her attacking me, had me hard again. Dammed. Maybe I needed to get a fuck buddy as well. Let her feel what it's like to share. I bet she wouldn't enjoy that either!

But I'm not like that. My heart lies with her and I won't get any of this frustration cleared with anybody else. My hand would have to work overtime. Again.

She used her sweet approach now, crawling against me and nestling her head in my neck, no doubt listening to my heart beat again.

"I'm giving you more of me than I ever gave anyone, Jake."

"I know, Rose. And I love you for that," I replied softly.

It was now easier to confess my true feelings. She knew and she was okay with it. She even hinted sometimes that she loved me back. Something I knew for a while now, but longed to hear.

"Can't we take it slow? Can't this be enough for now?"

"We are taking it slow. I'm not sending you away am I? And I still feel the same. I just won't make love to you."

"But Jake, I need you. Maybe it would be easier for me if we…"

"Oh no, you're not using that trick on me. If you can't love me back without the sex, just for me, then it's not worth it anyway."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I just need time. And I can't even think straight now because I want you so bad."

My heart sped up again at hearing her say this, but she didn't laugh, she wasn't teasing, she was honest.

She did have a point. I wanted her to love me for me. Then why am I using sex to get to her? If she caved now, it would only be because she's horny, not because she can't live without me.

"I understand. I'm going crazy here too. But I just can't sleep with you as long as you and him…"

"Maybe we could do something else? Just to get a release and think properly again."

"I think that would be too dangerous. We wouldn't just stop there."

"We would if you are serious about not being able to sleep with me anymore."

Damn. I was caving. Fast.

"I can't kiss you either."

I gave a final attempt, knowing that it was in vain. We were lost and we both knew it.

"That's okay," she whispered, and she showed that she knew I had given in by snaking her cold hand in my pants and grabbing my hard cock. I moaned and arched my back, and she pressed her hips against me, urging me on to give her some attention as well.

We both lay on our sides, looking in each other's eyes, as our hands were pleasing the other, trying to synchronize our movements. I pumped my fingers deep inside of her, watching her eyes flutter in ecstasy, and she slowly and softly caressed me, drawing out my orgasm. I was balancing on the edge, one hard stroke would be enough, but she teased me to insanity, waiting for her own release.

I gave her more pressure and speed, watching her lips, and dying to pull her close for a deep kiss. When I felt her body tense up, I sped up some more and she started quivering as her climax washed over her. Her fist had stopped moving and I bucked my hips forward, fucking her tight grip, exploding after a few thrusts.

After this we didn't speak, we just curled up together and breathed in each other's scent.

She was right, I knew she loved me and she gave me more than she ever did, even without saying it. And I would wait for her to be ready to give all of herself, so I could take her and have her be mine.

* * *

**AN: Who's winning?**


	29. Push

**Chapter 28: Push**

**RPOV**

"Hey twin," he spoke, as he neared me while I was burying my kill.

"Brother," I greeted him back. Although we are not related in any way, to the outside world we are, and me and Jasper do feel like brother and sister sometimes. Probably not as close as twins, and very _very_ different in character, but we understand each other and we get along when needed.

Like Edward he knows what's going on with every one of us at every point in time, but unlike the mindreader he never meddles or shares his opinion, except when asked. That might be one of the reasons I'm usually more interested in hearing it.

"What brings you here?" I ask, as he mostly needs encouragement to talk.

"Wondering how you were doing. Haven't seen you that much lately."

I smiled at him and he smiled back, we both knew where I preferred to spend my time 'lately'.

"Aw, you missing me?"

"Well, your mood swings do tend to bring some life to the party," he teased as he helped me removing all traces of my hunt.

"So you're bored."

"Yes."

I felt like he was interested in what was going on, and because he wouldn't ask me, I decided to start the conversation. Going straight for the truth.

"I don't know what to do, Jazz. He wants commitment and I can't give it."

"Can't or won't?" He directly jumped to the main issue as well.

"That hardly matters."

"It does to him."

"Perhaps. There's just so many uncertainties and we are so much unalike."

He chuckled and said "sounds familiar."

I looked sideways as we were strolling through the forest, not ready to go back and be overheard.

I know he meant him and Alice, and he was right, they are so much unalike. We talked about this in the past and he said that they complete each other and that it feels right and that's all that matters.

"How did you know? Back then?"

"I didn't. She knew. She was so sure. I wasn't. I believed she was a lunatic."

"You must have thought that following her across the country and changing your entire lifestyle was like a terrible plan."

"Terrible. Terrifying. All that yes."

"Then why did you do it?"

"There was something about her. I could never put my finger on it, still can't. I guess I needed her and deep down knew it."

"You must have believed in love then," I said, discarding his situation as being nothing like mine.

"Oh Rose, back then, I didn't believe in anything. After a hundred years of murdering and torturing and being used by Maria, I was as damaged as I could be. So was Alice by the way. We were just both so lost and all we leaned on was each other."

"That _does_ sound familiar," I said thoughtfully.

"I bet it does. I know exactly how you feel. Believe me."

"But if you were terrified, you must have fought it. Being with her. Tried to stop it."

"For sure. I ran away from her, as far as I could. But what point? She's Alice, isn't she?"

"Then what made you give in eventually?"

"I grew used to her, having her around, having her chasing me, so to say. And then one day she came up to me and she simply said that it was enough. She was going to find your family without me. She had given up on me. Or so I thought, because of course this was all part of her big plan."

"And then you followed her?"

"I never let her leave. The thought of her being gone was way more terrifying than taking the chance."

Several things were clicking in my head, and he felt it.

"Think about it Rose, he's a patient dog. But what if his patience comes to an end and he gives up on you? What would be worse? Trying and losing or not trying and losing?"

"I know you have a point Jazz, but I honestly don't think it's that simple. If I don't try, this is all he gets. It's not all of me. He won't break all of me by leaving."

He didn't answer but his face told me he disagreed.

"You don't believe me."

He stopped walking and waited for me to turn around and look at him. He took a deep breath and I knew that he had been thinking hard over what he was about to say. That maybe this was his reason for seeking me out in the first place.

"This is what will happen if you keep this up," he explained. "He'll decide that you won't be his, that you'll never leave Emmett and he'll try to save his heart. He might leave. And don't pretend that you can stay friends, you won't, you're both in too deep to just be friends again. You never were actually."

I opened my mouth to interject, but he raised his hand, showing me he wasn't finished.

"So he'll leave. Give up on you. You are going to tell yourself that you were right, that if he cares that little about you he never deserved you in the first place. But you'll never _truly_ believe it. And years from now you'll meet again. Emmett will be with his singer and Jake will have a family of his own, and you'll wonder. And I promise you, you'll be sorry."

Jasper never is the talkative guy, but when he speaks, he hits his target.

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't entirely convinced though. "But…" I started, and again Jasper didn't let me speak my protest.

"This is what _might_ happen otherwise. You go for him, be his. Fully. Then his imprint comes along and poof, the wolf is gone. Lost. You can't blame him for it, but you blame yourself. You tell yourself you're sorry. That you shouldn't have let it go that far, that you knew you'd be hurt and you tell yourself that it so had not been worth it. But you'll never truly believe it, and you'll never truly regret."

"How can you know it will be worth," I whispered.

"You don't. That's the exciting part."

"Yeah, _you_ knew. You had Alice telling you it would be okay."

"Sure. Like I believed that nut case. I'm sure Jake promises you the same things."

"He does," I sighed.

"Look, I can't decide for you. I just don't want you to regret. Don't hide behind Emmett, because he isn't yours."

"I know."

"You think, if Emmett had been gone already, that you'd go for Jake? That you just do now what's convenient and familiar?"

"I don't know. I thought about that too. Jake says that's my reason. I don't think it is. I believe, if Emmett should find his soul mate, that I'll be heart broken anyway."

"That's right. It's only natural Rose, you can't stop yourself from caring. Not you."

Being an empath he knew my weak spots. How I hate to care for things that can be taken away from me.

I sighed deeply.

"If you let Jake go, you'll be even more heart broken."

"You think so?"

"Yes I do. I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't. I know very well this is not what you want to hear."

"I need to talk to him, need to see him."

Jasper nodded, pleased that he had gotten through to me. Honestly, if anybody else had tried to tell me the same shit, I would have closed off immediately, but Jasper just has his charismatic ways of breaking down barriers. And of course it helped that his situation with Alice had been very much alike. I never saw it that way. Never thought that others were scared of loving too.

"Thanks Jazz, I think I really needed this talk."

"I believe you did, yes," he grinned and then gently pushed me "now off you go. You've got a wolf to claim."

"I don't know," I answered, still hesitant.

"Just give it a try, trust me. He'll take good care of you."

A smile came over my face. He _would_ take good care of me. And he's the only one I ever allowed to take care of me. Jasper was right. If I let this one slip away, I would regret it.

I gathered all my courage, and stood a little taller.

"You go girl," he chuckled and then gave me another push.

I started walking towards LaPush, faster and faster, until in the end I was sprinting towards his house. I didn't even fix my hair before bursting into the house. There was nobody home, but I heard some muttering from the garage and only a few seconds later I stood in his doorway, holding the rusty door in my hands.

He looked up, balancing between annoyance for yet another broken door and exploding in laughter. When he saw the corners of my mouth twitch, we both chose the latter and I dropped the door, running over to him and crushing him against me in a hug.

Before I even got a chance to say what I needed to say, our lips were locked into a searing kiss, and he pulled me even closer digging his nails into my flesh as if he knew exactly why I was there.

As if he could feel it in my kiss.

I hadn't kissed him in such a long time, it was almost impossible to break myself free from him. When I finally did, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed forward, because despite his panting, he leaned in for more.

I looked him in the eyes, loving the sound of his heart beating furiously and knowing that I would make it skip a beat.

As soon as he stopped trying to attack me and simply looked back at me, I opened my mouth and spoke the hardest words, at the same time the most wonderful words ever spoken.

"I love you..."

* * *

**AN: At last... Share your thoughts and feelings...**


	30. Mine

**Chapter 29: Mine**

**JPOV**

~*~  
_So take me as I am  
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man_  
~*~

I had felt it in her kiss, that there was something different.

And now I finally heard the words I've been wanting to hear for so long, my heart just stopped beating all together. Or so it seemed. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she pulled me closer again and placed her cheek against my chest. She seemed relieved to have finally said it.

I needed a moment to grasp it, but then I needed to kiss her again. I attacked her mouth with more fervor than ever and we kissed passionately until I tasted my blood, like I had done with our first kiss. This was a first as well, the first of something new. A beginning. I kissed her all over her face while four hands were ripping clothes and discarding them on the floor around us.

"Mine, finally," I softly growled against her neck.

"Define mine," she mumbled between her kisses on my chest.

"Doesn't matter. I want you to be mine in every possible meaning of mine."

She pulled back, looking a little confused.

"Well, we're not moving in and all that, right."

Something started to dawn on me then and my eyes grew wide.

"Rose… please tell me you're not serious. You're avoiding and you know damn well what I mean with mine."

"Jake, shush shush, step by step, alright?" she tried to kiss my mouth again, but I would have none of it.

"No! _Not_ step by step, all or nothing, I told you! How can you come here, truly meaning that you love me, while you still want to sleep with _him_?"

"Because this scares me," she sighed and dropped her arms, looking annoyed that I wanted even more from her now.

"Well too bad! This scares me too. We'll be scared together." I couldn't believe she would do this to me.

I stepped away from her and started to pick up the clothes from the floor, when she suddenly pushed me roughly against the wall, saying "this is what I'm offering and you _want_ it, so _take_ it dammit."

I wanted it, I wanted to hear her say she loves me, but it's not enough. How can she not understand?

Anger rose in me, and I quickly turned us around, crushing her against the wall and holding her wrists in a strong grip. Those hands of hers would not convince me this time. I was drop dead serious about this.

Of course I hadn't anticipated our current state of undress, so she didn't need her hands to drive me crazy, her bucking hips did that already, and somehow she had positioned herself so my cock was sliding against her wet center as she moved.

I moaned but then growled in her ear "no compromises, Rose. I don't want his hands on you ever again. Ever!!!" I emphasized each word by pushing my body forward into hers, almost entering her. "You! Are! Mine!"

She looked at me with a wild gaze in her eyes and then she answered "then fucking _make_ me yours!"

At this I bit down on her neck, marking her with my werewolf teeth while pushing my hips forward with a forceful thrust.

She hissed but instinctively wrapped her legs around me, and a feral power in me was released.

Her surrender made me claim her even more, and I fucked her against that wall as hard as I could. I hissed when her teeth were in my neck as well, leaving a similar mark, and the pain made me hold out longer than I would have after all this time.

She gave in completely to me, more than she ever had, and god how I loved that.

I fucked her senseless against the surprisingly strong wall, and after the most powerful orgasm of my life washed through me, we simply slid down to the floor, a blissful mass.

Neither of us really knew what to say.

As soon as I had recovered somewhat, I had the conscious of mind to move us to my bedroom, as we didn't have any intact clothes here and dad would soon be home. We would get dressed later though. I locked the door and we curled up under the covers, still naked.

I softly caressed my biting mark on her neck, feeling a little guilty now and wondering if it would leave a permanent scar. She would hate that; Rose likes to look perfect.

I placed some soft kisses on it, and then covered it with her long hair, not wanting to be reminded of how I had hurt her. The pain in my neck was long forgotten and probably healed already.

"Don't be sorry," she guessed my embarrassment, "that must have been the hottest thing I ever felt."

"Me biting you?" I asked incredulously.

"You claiming me. I can't really explain, but I feel so safe here in your arms. I think I truly am yours."

"Good. I'm going to take care of you."

I know it might sound silly for a seventeen year old wolf to say this, but that's exactly how I felt. She was mine to cherish and I wouldn't let anything get to her. I even wish I could keep her with me every minute of the day.

"I want to take care of you too," she said, as her nails softly grazed over my chest and my abs.

"You can. We'll be here for each other. You think you'll be able to go through with it?"

"With what?"

"Be mine in every way I want you to."

"I have to. But I hope you'll understand if I'll be sad about Emmett."

"Hmmm," I grunted and prayed that she wasn't changing her mind.

"I don't mean I'll be sad about not sleeping with him. Just the connection," she tried to explain. "A lot of the closeness we share was always translated in sex. That's how we show we care."

"You'll find another way," I said, hopeful.

"I know. I just don't want to hurt you. I know how I'll be and my mood swings and all that…"

"Don't worry, Rose. I know you. I don't want you to change. I take you for who you are."

She looked relieved. Did she think that by being my girlfriend she would suddenly have to be like any other girl? That silly Rose. I nuzzled her cheek and gave her a few soft kisses.

She couldn't help but smile and then kissed me back sweetly.

"How scared are you now?" I asked her, showing that I would be understanding all the way, "scale one to ten?"

"Right now, here in your arms, one. Or less," she grinned.

"Then never leave my arms."

"I wish. I want to stay here tonight."

"Can you?"

"Maybe. But I'll need to talk to him soon."

"I understand," I answered, and didn't push her.

But then she took her cell from her bag and started dialing. She stayed in the bed next to me so I could hear both sides of the conversation.

"Hey Emmett, it's me."

"_Hey Rose, what's up?"_

"I think I'm going to stay here tonight, is that alright?"

I heard him laugh out loud. _"You gave in then?"_ he asked, so he must know what had been keeping us apart these last weeks. I bet he knew by the amount of frustration he had to take care of. I tried to ignore that thought though.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, okay?"

"_Alrighty. Have fun,"_ he chuckled. It was clear that he knew what had happened and he seemed very much okay with it.

Rose put the phone away again and returned her attention to me.

"Will he be alright?"

"Of course. He's been expecting this."

"So you're more worried about your hurt than about his?"

Her face fell a bit as if I had accused her.

"I'm sorry," I said, "of course you'll be hurt. That's okay. I'm here for you, even if you think I won't like the news. Alright? I want you to keep trusting me like you did. I don't want anything to change between us."

"Things will change. But that's alright. I guess."

And at this she nestled close to me again and whispered "now sleep, my puppy."

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**AN: Dear readers, this is the end...**

**Please let me know what you thought about the story!**


	31. All Yours

**AN: This really is the final chapter. I was saving this as a start for a possible sequel, but that's not going to happen. I'm writing a new story "Undiscovered" instead, I hope you will like that one too. **

**So here it is: the real end of Angel Undercover! Enjoy!  
**

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**Chapter 30: All yours**

**RPOV**

I watched him sleep all night. I had wondered in the past how Edward could tolerate the boredom of watching someone breathe in and breathe out over and over again, but I don't think I'll ever grow tired of listening to the steady beating of this strong heart. Jake's heart.

Yeah, I'm in love.

Right now, I can't remember why I have been holding back so long. As soon as I let go, surrendered to him, I thought I'd be lost, but in fact I felt more home, more peaceful than I have felt in my long life.

He roped me in, had me captivated, and I don't ever want to lose that feeling.

I was counting down the hours till I could ravish him again, let this new experience take me over, but as time went on, the thoughts of Emmett and what I had to do put a downer on my fluttering heart.

It pulled me down, until I realized I wasn't going to be able to make love to Jake again, not before I put things straight first. Things that should have been handled a long time ago.

So I reluctantly dragged myself away and wrote Jake a note, saying that by the time I got back to him, I would be truly his. He would understand where I was and give me time.

I didn't plan on needing much time, however. Now I decided to go through with this, might as well get it done and over with. I ran home and ran into Emmett before I had anticipated to. He sat on the steps of the front porch, as if deep into thoughts. The sight actually worried me a bit. When I pulled to a stop in front of him, he stood up and took my hand, leading the way towards one of the cars, saying "let's go for a ride, babe."

He avoided looking me in the eye, a very unusual thing for Emmett, but I didn't ask questions, as he obviously needed privacy first.

We drove in silence and he parked the car in one of our favorite spots, on a hill with a view over Seattle. After the engine was cut down, we still didn't speak, but the silence grew louder. I chanced a look sideways and saw him staring through the front window, the hurt on his face obvious and already my heart broke. While the hardest part was still to come.

I took his hand in mine and silently hoped that words were not needed here, and for a long time that was true. We watched the sky over the city light up, each of us swimming in heart ache, without a sound, without a tear.

Emmett eventually was the first to speak.

"I know I pushed you into giving this a shot, but damn if I'm going to pretend now that it doesn't hurt like hell, losing you."

Our eyes finally locked and even though our eyes were dry, the pain was clear.

"It's the same for me, Emm. And you know you'll never lose me."

"I know that. But you won't be my girl anymore. I didn't want to be all mellow on you, I wish you all the happiness in the world, Rose, I really do. But…" His voice cracked and he broke eye contact to stare again.

"I'll miss you, too," I said, and he squeezed my hand.

Slowly the fear was creeping up on me again, panic rising, a voice saying 'what the hell are you doing?', and I must have showed my anxiety because Emmett, my companion for all these years, saw, and pulled me closer, saying "you're doing the right thing. I know you are. This is just gonna hurt a little."

And so we let it hurt. More than a little.

At times it made us gasp for air we didn't need, and we squeezed each others hand with a force that would break human bones.

When the first rays of sunlight started to scatter over the city, Emmett released his grip, and held my face in his hands.

"Let's roll," he whispered. Attempting to replace the pain with a new kind of excitement.

Change is a difficult thing for vampires, but Emmett always manages to see the fun in new things. He took a deep breath and repeated out loud, with a little more resolution "let's roll!".

We both mustered a little smile and he roared up the engine.

I tried to let his enthusiasm reach me and kept saying to myself I'm doing the right thing. The vision of my sleeping wolf before my eyes. He was worth this sacrifice from me. There was no doubt in that.

The vision popped when Emmett spoke again. "I'll move to another room."

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that. I mean,… I'm the one… I should move."

"Nah, it's fine. I want a different view anyway and let's face it, you're gonna need the bed more than I do."

He laughed out loud at my embarrassed expression, and I tried to counter.

"I'm sure you'll manage to hunt plenty of vamp ladies, now you're a single man again."

"Maybe. But I think I'm gonna take some time by myself. Rethinking things."

I turned towards him, he looked serious.

"Rethinking what?"

"You know… My singer and all." Now he was embarrassed. I know he believed that in the long run, he was destined to be with his singer, but I didn't know that it was an active thought in his mind.

"Are you going to go look for her?" I asked carefully. The idea of Emmett leaving the Cullens suddenly firing up the hurt again.

"Not yet, Rose. Don't worry. I know you. You're gonna be all over the place the next few weeks or months, you're gonna need a friend. I'm not going anywhere."

I smiled relieved.

"Yet," he added cautiously, and I nodded.

"Thanks Emm."

Once we got back home, I followed him into our room – my room – and he put all his stuff on a pile on the bed. He looked at the TV with game console and I nodded. Jasper was the first to notice what was happening, and he started to move one of his reading couches in the spare room, and make place for the TV. We heard Alice enter downstairs and without asking, she started emptying the closets of that room, which were filled with her shoes as all the closets in her room couldn't contain it all. When everything was moved and the rest of the family was informed, I sat down on the bed and waited for my excitement to return again.

Emmett sat next to me and I saw his gaze roam across the room, undoubtedly saying goodbye to all the happy and passionate memories we made here.

"How scared are you? Scale one to ten."

"About an eight," I admitted, "you?"

"I'm not scared at all, Rose. I'm sad. Very sad. But not scared. This is a new beginning."

I nodded and tried to focus on the word beginning. Tried to ignore the big neon sign that said "ending".

"You should go back to him. There's no point in bathing in what's lost. You made your decision, he's the only one who can comfort you right now."

"How about you?"

"I'll go hunt me some bear. Alice said se saw some fierce ones near our camping spot."

Him mentioning "our" camping spot shot more memories through my brain.

"Fuck, Emmett, I don't know…"

"You _do_ know. Stop thinking. Go meet him."

I looked him in the eyes and saw nothing but encouragement.

"He's right for you. Now go," he said, and then grabbed me in a bear hug while he added in a whisper, "I'm letting you go."

We held each other for a long time, holding on for dear life, and when I let go, I said "thank you," and finally stopped thinking.

I went downstairs and just like last time, I ran to Jake. As fast as I could.

And just like Emmett had, Jake sat on the steps in front of his house, waiting for me. An anxious look on his face, much like the anxiety I had felt the last couple of hours.

He stood up when he saw me and we looked at each other for one short second, and then our arms were hugging and our lips were kissing.

I breathed him in and I knew I was right. This was right. He was the only one who could comfort me.

And I whispered in his ear "I'm all yours."

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**All Yours – Metric**

Other lives, always tempted to trade  
Will they hate me for all the choices I made  
Will they stop when they see me again?  
I can't stop now I know who I am

Tear me down they can't take you out of my thoughts  
Under every scar there's a battle I've lost  
Will they stop when they see us again?  
I can't stop now I know who I am

Now I'm all yours, I'm not afraid  
and you're all mine, say what they may  
and all your love I take to the grave  
and all my life starts now

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**AN: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, you are what got me into writing again! **


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